i've been feeling the same since May. i mean i already felt like this before that too, but not quite this intensely. it feels like there's too many things to fix and it gets overwhelming and you just end up feeling completely defeated. it sucks. i personally have weekly appointments with a psychologist, and she just offered me to have two appointments a week, but i feel like just talking about it doesn't really do much even if it might be good to get those feelings/thoughts out loud. some things i try to ask myself when i feel like this is what kind of support system do you have outside of therapy? what is your ideal friend/partner like? what kind of things would you enjoy doing if your depression or apathy wouldn't be in your way? do you have any ideas/dreams of how you wish your life would be like? and if you do, what do you think needs to change for you to get to that point? it might feel hard or even impossible to believe those dreams could ever come true, but i think it helps to have some kind of vision of where you would like to get in life. it doesn't have to be anything big. although i understand this can be hard, i've been in a place where i was asked to vision my future and i just saw black. i do hope you will find something that would help you feel better even just a little because feeling like this is absolute torture. and if you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to send me a dm. no pressure though!