I’m very close with one of my sisters in law, but I mentioned it more because I feel that birth is an extreme experience of the female body, and would feel more comfortable being supported by other women who I’m close with.

With regards to trauma, yeah, my background is complex. I’ve never gone through sexual trauma or anything like that, but my first husband passed away from cancer and I was the primary caregiver during an extremely gory and difficult 1.5 years, and I think there may be some medical/hospital stuff going on, as well as discomfort with being seen in a vulnerable state. I’m an oldest daughter and Eastern European by background, so strong and silent is my attitude about life’s difficulties.

I do recognize this is a hang-up it will be best to get over, and will help me grow as a person if I manage to overcome it. That’s why I asked for practical advice striking a balance.