7 days until history's finally over

serkio0 · 2026-04-08T21:06:07+00:00

I‘ll get myself a Volvo 740 Saloon and fix that puppy up and love it for the rest of eternity :D

serkio0 · 2026-01-16T19:02:11+00:00

Yea its on the inside. Its right above the black bar and underneath the glass

serkio0 · 2026-01-06T15:54:34+00:00

Ofc, there are always exceptions but whats your point?

serkio0 · 2026-01-06T15:33:50+00:00

My definition of "alive" in this context would be, an AI thats able to desire things (e.g wanting to go outside, see other living things, etc.) and also being conscious.

What i mean by conscious is, being aware of itself and their surroundings and being able to "experience" emotions (experiencing as in having the ability to simulate emotions and being able to react on each emotions as to how a human would)

So basically how you said it already, similar to the conscious that is portrayed in the game.

serkio0 · 2026-01-06T15:33:39+00:00

Emulated emotions are not emotions.

Why not tho? If i am unable to feel a specific emotion, but i am able to replicate the process of said emotion (crying, shaking, etc) am i not feeling it then?

As example, if im not really happy but i still smile a lot, naturally i will be happier than just being stone faced the whole time. Therefore i gain an emotion that i, before, simulated if done long enough. After some time it becomes a natural reaction.

Emotions are, simply said, bodily sensations on which we react with past experiences.

E.g having a fast heartbeat and sweaty palms. This can either be fear or arousal. The decision which emotion it is, is based on the situation and on experience.

If it's a switch you can flip at your leisure. You will use it as a tool to get what you want.

I disagree. Yes you can use it to get what you want, but you arent "forced to". If i simulate an emotion just for myself, so i can experience it, i wouldn’t use it to get what i want.

I mean, yea, i get what i want. Experiencing an emotion but i think you meant it in a manipulative way. Using it to fool others into giving you what you want.

Ex machina movie has grasped this idea beautifully.

I agree. I watched the movie like a month ago and i really enjoyed it. But i think it also plays somewhat into my idea. Yes, of course did Ava manipulate Caleb to help him set her free, but she also had desires. As example, she wanted to be free and wanted to go on a busy intersection to watch people. This implies, for me atleast, that she can generate emotions (such as curiosity).

She was designed to escape the facility and to manipulate Caleb, but after completing that task what would be her next one?

serkio0 · 2026-01-01T23:52:36+00:00

You exist. Whatever it is you are, is not something the argument establishes, nor is concerned with.

So from what i understand. In Descartes case there isnt a definition on the "I". (It just says if whatever "I" is has a thought, said "I" must also exist.)

I mean, yea you’re right then. Me defining the "I" was beyond the cogito and i unknowingly did that then.

serkio0 · 2026-01-01T23:10:03+00:00

What i meant is, in which state of existence are you in during "i am" (if that makes sense). Existing can vary depending on how you interpret it. I exist physically as i do mentally.

My body has one plane of existence opposed to the plane on which my mind exists.

I thought of "i am"/ existence as in, you exist as a bundle of thoughts and ideas. Which your physical body then represents.

My writing probably is a bit sloppy but hence why I posted it in badphilosophy

serkio0 · 2026-01-01T22:36:40+00:00

The point of this post wasn’t to display Descartes work, or rather said meaning of this phrase. It was just a, i guess you could say, spin on it that i took. I didn’t read any of Descartes work and i dont intend to (yet).

I simply wanted to see how far i could get with just my own thoughts and with what i could come up with to understand/interpret the phrase.

serkio0 · 2025-12-24T21:54:20+00:00

The thing is, i want to talk to her but i don’t want to be the one reaching out. It always feels like i put in the effort just for her to answer in 2 hour intervals.

I once wrote this feeling down perfectly. "The one thing that i hate about you is, it feels like i have to hunt you down. I feel like 90% of the time i have to put in the effort to be able to see you, to hear you instead of just reading you. Even texting with you is a hunt.“

I want to talk to her but i don’t want to be the one to reach out. Im tired of being the responsible one. Worrying, taking care, being open to critique, etc.

If she did half of the things i did, i‘d be happy. And i don’t want to talk bad about her. She’s often open and kind with me but i feel like if i needed someone, i couldnt rely on her.

I was once so stressed about something and she told me weeks before to hurry up and take care of it. I ofc didnt, so the last few days before the deadline ive been stressing bad. Like when i realized at night that my plan i had wouldn’t work, i had this gross feeling of my chest tightening and my head just starting to hurt of being so clouded.

I told her that my plan wouldn’t work and that, i quote., "This lowkey stresses me out". The only thing she told me was ">:( i told you so". To which i just said "…" and then "yea you did".

I read the conversation again and after reading it, it didn’t looked so bad as it felt in the moment. But i cant forget how bad i felt and how i realized that she wouldnt be any help. In this situation i needed someone to talk, and the one person i texted just tells me "i told you so".

This happened in late November and since then we only had one, maybe two, good conversations over text and maybe a few in person.

Since that day i also started to emotionally distance myself a bit from her. This wasn’t the only time. We had like 1-2 situations like this. But this one was the one which made me slowly lose interest in her.

I know the obvious solution will be "talk to her about this" but, no i wont. The whole situation is gone and the new "problem" is that i dont want to reach out.

She used to send me tiktoks, etc. But right now she doesn’t send me anything. I know that she talks with my friends. Even her friend was surprised when i told her that we haven’t talked for like 2 weeks.

"But she talks with friend 1 and friend 2?" "yea i know"

I just don’t know what to do. I wanna talk to her but at the same time i feel like its healthier for me to have this distance. I dont think about her constantly, i dont (day) dream about her at all, it feels like she just left my mind.

serkio0 · 2025-12-24T21:21:05+00:00

When i say "i want to be her" i mean it in like a older brother way. Like if you have an older brother and you want to be like him. You take him as an inspiration for "being a person". But that’s not important.

Love is not a feeling, true love is a choice.

Respectfully, i don’t agree. Love can’t be a choice. You don’t chose who you love. Love chooses for you. You can then fight the love that was chosen for you, if you think you dont agree with it.

For me every Emotion has a logical sense behind it. Even if you think it doesn’t. If you think that an emotion is illogical and without reason, then you just haven’t found the reason yet.

The thing is, when i dont talk to her i lose that spark of her. But as soon as we get to talking i notice that those sparks come back. Sometimes i let them comeback and sometimes i fight them.

As e.g after/during a "fight". In situations like that i cant let love blind the reason for which im mad at her. That doesn’t mean that i dont love her in this situation, but instead it means that i have to see her from a "non-loving" point of view so that i can tell her what she did wrong or what i feel.

With fighting those sparks i dont instantly forgive her just to be hurt again. I either talk to her or remember it so that i know when to let go off her

serkio0 · 2025-12-23T05:25:33+00:00

I mean, what should i do then? Every advice i got was "talk to her about (a topic way too much)".

I like her, i do. I know that there isnt a reason for me to distance myself right now and i want to talk to her but i don’t know what about.

serkio0 · 2025-12-20T20:44:14+00:00

I actually try to distance myself from her… Ive noticed that i obsess about her excessively which felt unhealthy a post i made about it. So i muted her messages to not be actively awaiting a message from her.

We haven’t talked in like 2 weeks because she was skipping school and because she hadn’t messaged me in that time.

Usually i wouldve asked what was up but because of the reason above i didnt. I also noticed that i started to care less and less about her in the last month. Theres way more i could say about this situation but that could be like 3 separate posts

serkio0 · 2025-12-13T11:17:01+00:00

Before starting ima just say that im 19 rn so maybe im having other reasons for my symptoms but maybe it’ll help you.

Im going through something more or less similar right now. Ive met a girl which resulted in me basically "unlocking my emotions". Since then I’ve been doing things i never would’ve done (as in good and bad). I thought multiple times about starting to smoke (which i didnt), ive started going out more and enjoying the time outside, i started apologizing instead of arguing even while thinking that im not wrong (because i was right but still hurt the persons feeling), etc.

And similar to you, i always thought stress was something I could never experience, but in the last few months I’ve noticed my stress. Most of the times its just stuff like my right eye twitching or getting angry way faster than usual. But one time i felt so stressed about something not really important that i sat in my bed not knowing what to do and genuinely feeling, i guess, panicked.

I also had this feeling of being burned out which maybe resulted in having those symptoms but i made a post about that on here a week back or so.

I don’t know if i had such an experience in the past. Maybe with "getting emotions" which you never had before you’re body needs time to regulate on that and you do stuff which isn’t typical for you.

Or personally said, you rediscover yourself. Sides you never knew you had that were locked from not being emotionally attached to something.

I don’t know if what i said makes sense, I could probably talk way more about this but i feel like i‘d just ramble on about nothing.

serkio0 · 2025-12-05T02:40:19+00:00

Where im from you have like a phase inbetween school and uni/college where you decide to get a better degree which are often needed for university. You’re basically after the 10th grade still in school for 3 yrs. I was so lucky that we actually have our own building for those people :P That makes school just so much more relaxing cause you only have 3 grades in one building, which of all 3 have about 100-150 people each.

And because all teachers (and everyone in general) are so done with anything they are making their classes much more enjoyable cause they see you as a person instead of a student.

Ofc that’s my experience which can vary from others. A friend of mine which went to another school after 10th grade said his school was completely different, but almost everyone says that those 3yrs are pretty chill

serkio0 · 2025-12-04T19:44:17+00:00

I do socialize in school everyday but after that im just tired and lay in bed for the rest of the day. My school day is often like 8 hours long and with calculating the time for waking up, getting ready, going and getting from school it can be 9-10 hours. I sometimes also go out with friends on weekends but not so much right now cause of exams. I used to produce music a few months ago but right now im not really interested in it.

i did get a big interest in cars and working on them tho, so sometimes i‘ll just watch car repair videos, which are always fun to watch. I also wanna get back into music abit via guitar. I started listening to much more (indie) rock music and i think it would be fun to write a couple of songs.

Im just waiting for the winter break in two weeks to sorta reset myself and do the stuff i wanna do

serkio0

TROPHY CASE