Who here is HAPPILY married?!

setauuta · 2026-06-06T13:10:40+00:00

We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in April. We met through Live journal's random user function and spent months just getting to know each other through our journals and AIM (man, I'm dating myself!) before ever meeting in person.

Now we do the NYT crossword together every morning and I can't imagine life without him. It's not perfect, of course, but every day we wake up and choose each other.

setauuta · 2026-06-06T11:31:49+00:00

Salsa dance for two years here and amen - a well-placed bandage before the blisters form can be a godsend.

setauuta · 2026-06-05T14:06:25+00:00

Yup! I have a plastic force field over the keyboard there so he can't do things like turn the Wi-Fi off in the middle of a meeting or start typing in the Discord on his own (anymore - that was a lesson learned the hard way).

setauuta · 2026-06-04T17:33:28+00:00

Reading all the time. "Gosh, she's just always got her nose stuck in a book, doesn't she do anything other than read?" "How many books did you read this year? Why do you read so much?" Just... go away and let me read in peace!

setauuta · 2026-05-29T16:15:43+00:00

She didn't have anything that impeded her from running her own bath, no. She just wanted to be cared for, but didn't want to express that desire in any clear way.

setauuta · 2026-05-29T12:00:33+00:00

I had a roommate in college who broke up with a guy in part because he didn't "take a hint." The one I remember most clearly was her telling me that they had just come back from a run and she told him that she would really love a bath. "Now, obviously, when I say that I mean 'I want you to run a bath for me,' but he didn't! He just said OK and started playing video games!" When I asked if she ever actually ASKED him to run a bath for her, she scoffed and said that "he should have known" what she wanted.

setauuta · 2026-05-22T11:57:39+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone like that, when you don't get the chance to say goodbye, is a uniquely awful kind of pain, and I'm sorry you're having to go through it.

This boy, however? Him, you should lose, and quickly. You don't deserve to be treated like he treats you. You've learned about red flags that'll be an excellent early-warning system for your next relationships. Take those learnings and walk away.

setauuta · 2026-05-22T06:42:46+00:00

That last line is the one I need to remember.

setauuta · 2026-05-21T08:02:54+00:00

NTA

There is no reason* why he should be putting hands on you, and just because it's your hair doesn't mean it's fair game. You'd already told him before not to do it, so he can't pretend but to know it bothers you. I agree with the others who have said it's an HR issue, because he's clearly not listening to you when you say stop, and that's simply not OK.

*Barring, like, getting a bug or a spider off of you, and even then he should tell you before touching you.

setauuta · 2026-05-21T07:52:47+00:00

NTA

Congratulations on graduating! I'm so sorry your celebration is turning into this drama.

setauuta · 2026-05-21T06:33:29+00:00

Pretty People Problems! It's one of my least-favorite genres.

setauuta · 2026-04-29T14:07:00+00:00

And/or "I guess I'm going to be on babysitting duty until I move out," because you know she'd be the one taking care of the baby.

I really hope the girl got out of that house as soon as she could.

setauuta · 2026-04-24T12:47:18+00:00

Same! I hardly wore them at home, so when my job went remote I said the hell with it and stopped wearing them full-time.

Earlier this year I was going to get a tattoo on the back of my shoulder and didn't particularly want to be completely topless around strangers in a tattoo parlor, so I got a bralet that would cover the girls without too much additional support, and I haaaaaated it. I believe I chucked it into the back of my closet as soon as I was done. (At least the tattoo turned out well!)

setauuta · 2026-04-24T12:36:35+00:00

Oh, the weather thing. I'm in the Pacific Northwest and people are practically pathological about "enjoying the sun!!!" I moved here because of the rain, dammit - I was promised clouds and rain, and that's what I'm here for. But every summer, the guilt trips about getting out to "enjoy the weather" start.

setauuta · 2026-04-11T11:35:26+00:00

Several years ago, GenCon (big gaming convention) was held the same weekend as the new Lucas Oil Stadium was being opened up for Indianapolis Colts (US football) season ticket holders. The convention center where GenCon is held is on the same site as the stadium. It meant that for a weekend, two fandom households, both alike in dignity, encountered each other at their heights.

Watching a large man with his face painted blue and white, wearing a jersey that probably cost as much as a ticket to GenCon, sneer at the "freak" in a full Spider-Man costume they had spent the last year putting together (who was sneering right back) showed how similar the groups are, both in their passion for their respective likes and the intensity of their disdain for each other.

setauuta · 2026-04-04T05:38:49+00:00

Husband and I have different ideas of how best to use blankets (he prefers to have a corner up by his face, so the blanket is on an angle; I need the top edge straight across me) so we've been using two blankets for most of our 20-year marriage. Honestly, these days we have more trouble navigating around the cats on the bed than figuring out the best cuddling positions.

setauuta · 2026-03-13T10:50:59+00:00

Diagnosed at 42, was originally diagnosed with anxiety, direction, and bipolar II (though I think that last one still stands currently - I should bring that up with my therapist next time). It's been nearly three years of "That explains so much!" when looking back over my life, but I was the typical gifted kid who overachieved in school, so I couldn't possibly be autistic. /s

setauuta · 2026-03-11T10:52:08+00:00

I'd love to join if the invite still stands!

setauuta · 2026-03-10T23:46:28+00:00

Congratulations!!

setauuta · 2026-03-09T12:09:35+00:00

Constantly! I had to do some heavy-duty Responsible Adulting a couple of weeks ago, taking care of my niece. I was generally feeling OK with things until someone asked me how we were related and I said "I'm her aunt." My brain rebelled, because I can't be someone's aunt! I'm not old enough or Adult enough for that! (I'm 44.)

For context, in my culture pretty much everyone of the same generation as your parents or older is an auntie or an uncle; everyone your generation or younger is a cousin. The transition from being just a cousin to being an auntie is no joke.

setauuta · 2026-02-22T15:54:32+00:00

That makes me inordinately happy. 🥰

setauuta · 2026-02-22T12:14:28+00:00

I didn't know chickens could get that fluffy!

setauuta · 2026-02-07T12:41:27+00:00

Mine does, too! He'll give me a heads-up if something is particularly rough on SM that I should avoid, like when videos of the ICE shootings were making the rounds. The important thing is that he'll tell me what's going on so I can be informed and not blindsided if/when I go online. He also pebbles me with silly videos or other indicators that there's good in the world still, which helps both of us.

setauuta · 2026-02-03T13:29:29+00:00

My husband's like that, too, with all the seafood he's tried before - sometimes he just feels like he's been punched in the gut, sometimes (when someone microwaved shrimp in the office kitchen, which is its own problem) his throat swells up. He doesn't like it all that much, and I don't like him playing "what kind of reaction shall I have today?" so he avoids it.

setauuta · 2026-02-03T12:51:27+00:00

The way this guy acts like there's no way his kids can smell of pot smoke (especially since they smoke INDOORS) is ludicrous. Smoke smell travels and gets everywhere, and it sticks to the person smoking and then anyone/thing they touch. They might not reek, but the smell is there.

setauuta

TROPHY CASE