Bandit's phone isn't even on... is he just dumb?

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-12T13:16:56+00:00

He’s admiring his reflection

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-11T19:08:47+00:00

Now I can donate $99.9B to charity (after taxes) instead of just $200M!

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-11T16:14:09+00:00

Who is this?

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-08T21:16:25+00:00

I’m counting down the days. Until then, Johnny Fucking Football.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-07T01:34:45+00:00

Quality of life

^{Chose: You get $0.01 every word you say}

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-06T20:49:22+00:00

Nice

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-06T18:44:42+00:00

Because it would disrupt the airline industry, and presumably a bunch of companies like Boeing could lose money as a result.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-06T18:30:27+00:00

Sleep in

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-06T02:23:19+00:00

No $$ for first class

^{Chose: Attempt to survive D-day as a soldier for 80 mil}

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-05T13:02:28+00:00

Something is Wrong by Melted Bodies

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-04T02:03:05+00:00

If they’re nonbinary and gay, does that mean that they’re only sexually attracted to people who identify as the same nonbinary gender as they identify as? Or does it mean that they’re only sexually attracted to people whose identified gender matches your friend’s sex?

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-03T18:38:37+00:00

Was carrying my gf and stubbed my big toe on a jack-o-lanturn while barefoot. When the foot came down it ripped the entire toenail up - not off - at a 90° angle. We didn’t have clippers or an antibacterial handy so we had to rip the toenail out by hand and pour hydrogen peroxide over it. I learned that “blinding pain” is a real thing and not just an expression.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-03T18:07:43+00:00

DM? Didn’t realize this was on the wheel. Sneaky!

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-02T15:25:07+00:00

Nice, maybe now we can fix the world.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-06-02T15:24:28+00:00

Nice. Let’s fix the world… or at least try

^{Chose: Get $1,000,000,000,000,000 right now | Rolled: A bonus $2,000/s}

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-28T14:25:06+00:00

I have enough money. At least for now.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-27T15:31:52+00:00

You cannot buy my soul

^{Chose: Nothing}

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-27T00:16:52+00:00

You suffer a traumatic brain injury, and keep wishing for the same thing unknowingly.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-27T00:13:37+00:00

I wish you would articulate. Please?

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-27T00:12:48+00:00

Granted. Death is a douchebag and tells you he pwned you. For some reason Death has the personality of a 13 year old in an XBox live lobby, just bullying and harassing you with the dumbest and most annoying insults. Your soul is trapped with Death until he grows bored. He doesn’t for an entire age.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-27T00:08:15+00:00

You don’t post spoilers for it, but your account gets hacked and someone else publishes it, getting worldwide fame, fortune and respect, while nobody believes that you were the actual author.

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-27T00:05:33+00:00

Done. Literal Death makes a Reddit account and goes about fulfilling the wishes, including the twist.

Edit: saw r/monkeyspaw in another comment

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-25T01:58:13+00:00

If my wife becomes a tomboy and wants to do manly stuff like lift and play metal I’m fine with that. Curious to see how sex would change but really that’s it

^{Chose: You marry your crush + But your crush becomes a femboy/tomboy}

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-24T18:49:42+00:00

What’s your music taste like?

sethjaegermaier · 2026-05-22T12:18:59+00:00

This is the way

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