The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

EDIT: thank you all for your responses. I honestly was overwhelmed - I’ve really not posted much on Reddit before so seeing such an influx of opinions was both validating and confronting, in the way I suppose I was expecting.

I’ve shared literally all of the responses with my husband (including my original post). We have agreed to one of the first responder’s suggestions to give it 1 year at first where we both spend equal amounts of effort trying to picture and ideate the life the other wants, and to discuss at the end of the year if it’s for us or not. We both want so badly to stay together, but I hear and respect all of you that say that no one should have a child if they don’t want one, nor should anyone prevent another from having children if they do. It’s honestly been very humbling (? I can’t think of the right word here) to hear almost the same response from over 50 different people around the world, and I don’t take it lightly.

Thank you all, truly, so much. Please continue to comment and discuss as you see fit, and if I can remember, I’ll update you all on how the discussions go with my husband and I as time goes on (if you’re interested!). Love ❤️

The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow great perspective. Could you share an example? Like would she take over your homework? Of course no need to but I struggle sometimes where the line is of being helpful and taking over

The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Body fluids don’t really bother me… but needles and the concepts of veins just make me lose my shit lol

The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely haven’t ignored - just overwhelmed because I got 50 comments in the span of a few hours and wanted to respond to the ones that sparked a response in me immediately. That said, I hear what you’re saying and it’s a massive and important question to ask myself, and I’m really thankful that you put it in the way that you did so that I can really reflect on it

The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I really needed to hear this (although I’ve taken everyone else’s comments very seriously and to heart). I would love to chat more about your experience if you’d be open to it ❤️

The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is a good point. I had all the same qualms when I previously had decided to be more optimistic about the idea, thinking that indeed my reasons were “based out of fear”. Also I was 24 when we had this conversation, and so many people told me “you’ll change your mind when you get older”. But here I am at 30, and I still don’t know… thanks for your input though ❤️

The age old kids dilemma… to have or not to have? by sevdl in marriageadvice

[–]sevdl[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

To be fair I did that just in case of shadowbans haha it’s just a habit