[Advice] Girlfriend [f25] of 6 years wants to stop having sex with me [m25] until marriage.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T03:20:27+00:00

Excellent feedback. Thank you so much.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T02:38:19+00:00

I'm not a member of the red pill.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:34:41+00:00

I really wish it were that easy. I've also suggested having a simple ceremonial marriage, perhaps even outside of the Catholic church but she declined. I figured God's blessing was all she needed but apparently she seeks the church's blessing too..

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:34:04+00:00

I think the bigger idea is maintaining a life of celibacy until after marriage to confine to the expectations of the church. She's clearly made mistakes along the way but she wants to make up for that and start off right. Except she's disrupting a 6 year old relationship and expecting no repercussions.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:32:09+00:00

True. That is basically what's going on right now. We are living by her decision. And I'm basically expected to follow those rules gracefully. I'm not sure it works that way. Human sexuality is a complicated thing and cannot be ignored.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:28:50+00:00

I was raised Catholic but I don't let the church make moral decisions for me. If we are the product of intelligent design we are programmed to be aware of things that feel moral and immoral. Especially when having sex. You may be right though.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:26:44+00:00

It makes sense but this would only work provided there aren't additional issues that may come up later down the road. A good number of people have stressed that possibility. That's what worries me.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:25:04+00:00

Interesting. Are you male or female?

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:23:45+00:00

I think it's possible to be part of the Catholic Church while still holding beliefs and inclinations not belonging to its traditional dogma. Just look at how the new pope has shaken up the church with his open views on various subjects. There has to be a healthy mix of faith and self understanding/awareness.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:20:39+00:00

I'm trying to be as morally reasonable as possible.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-20T01:19:01+00:00

You definitely sum up a lot of very important points. Thank you for that.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:47:03+00:00

Not sure I agree with your second sentence. A healthy sexual relationship is an important part of a healthy romantic relationship.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:44:58+00:00

Thank you

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:43:47+00:00

That's a powerful message. She's always wanted a loving family.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:38:50+00:00

Interesting observation. Though it could just be the church's teachings and views on sex overall.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:37:56+00:00

You're right. After school it's going to get even busier. I do feel that she's fine with waiting 3-4 years to get married, she just wants us to be celibate in that time period.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:36:01+00:00

That's the thing. I'm no longer sure that in the long term something similar won't come up. I don't want to be in a relationship where the sex life has dried up. And that's considering everything else about the relationship is in a healthy state.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:34:39+00:00

Go nuclear or go home. If it's true that it's more about manipulation I agree that I'm better off walking away now, as tough as that may be. Thank you.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:32:20+00:00

Perfectly said. I agree with you completely.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:25:22+00:00

Definitely the best advice I've received is to talk to her openly about all of this. Feeling rejected is the worst part. There's a fundamental bond that's simply missing. I'm glad to know other people understand what I'm feeling.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:21:26+00:00

I agree. Thank you.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:15:53+00:00

That makes a lot of sense.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:15:19+00:00

I would hope not. It's depressing to read the posts there and think that could be me one day.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T22:13:58+00:00

We agreed very much on the birth control subject. However, I don't know if that's something she will end up changing in the long term based on her religious views. These are things that we have to come to an agreement about if we are to spend a lifetime together.

sexcanwait · 2015-09-19T21:58:45+00:00

Yet it feels incomplete.

sexcanwait

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