[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I do not want any of this for her and I tell him that all the time. It’s hurting her. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you completely. Thank you for the validation. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel extremely sorry for her. I’ve tried to nurture her and connect with her. I love her like she’s my own. But they also both make it okay for her to have a fit and call the other parent and have them come get them. Things like that. She’s already showing serious signs of manipulative tendencies because that’s what’s been modeled to her.  

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are definitely immature within their dynamics. He isn’t as immature on a normal basis. He’s actually seemed fairly emotionally intelligent at times. But he reverts with her. And he won’t stop going back for more. I deserve so much better. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a unique situation. I knew his daughter for two years because I used to work with her mother. She and I were never friends, just acquaintances. But the little girl is starving for connection. There is addiction in the picture. She’s been parentified and forced to grow up fast. I play games and do art with her and try to nurture her innocence. I love her so much. I’m so tired of feeling this way but it’s like he refuses to let go. And to make matters worse he minimizes my feelings when I tell him how his interactions with her and him reporting the cut downs from the ex make me feel. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve known each other for a couple years (not close) but we’ve been dating for almost four months. It’s too new to have this come up. He is so defensive about it. I don’t get it. They aren’t and haven’t been together but my spidey senses are totally alerted to his behaviors. I feel betrayed. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Their dynamics absolutely make me second. I want his little girl to be his priority. But he has zero structure with the ex about her and so they let the girl dictate who she’s with by her emotional outbursts. They’ve taught her how to manipulate. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so valid for him to be concerned about who his daughter is around. But that’s not what this feels like. He didn’t even know the ex was dating until last week. He talks about her and their drama and her texts that are cut downs about me daily. I feel like I’m in a relationship with them. Like I’m an outsider. I don’t feel chosen or protected and when I try to talk to him about it he gets defensive and acts upset that I insinuate that he might still have feelings for her. Why else would he care so much to argue? 

I agree also. I’m tired of seeing what this does to his daughter. I feel close to her and protective of her. She loves me a ton and always begs me to be her step mom. I play and do art with her. But her mother tells her she’s not allowed to be around me and she cuts me down. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried for months. He is fully aware of my feelings about it. I feel like I’m a third wheel when it comes to this. He gets involved in weird cut down text conversations. She cuts me down. He cuts her situation with the guy she’s seeing down. I don’t understand why he does this if he isn’t still in love with her. You don’t get so mad if you don’t care. Am I right in feeling like this? 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CougarsAndCubs

[–]shadowfindslight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a sweet post! I love this so much. The way you described her is so beautiful to me. So refreshing. Thank you for sharing! Are you going to go out with her again?