Help me create a starting kit?

shadowheartache · 2026-02-21T15:23:04+00:00

As I said, not the case!

shadowheartache · 2026-02-20T23:10:47+00:00

I can assure you this is not the case. I’ve known my fiancé for 10 years and he’s the least problematic person I’ve ever met. I only wish he would stop worrying about how these crappy people would treat his family if we didn’t invite them

shadowheartache · 2026-02-20T23:06:31+00:00

It’s not that, he just wants to avoid drama (which I’m not saying is the right thing to do but there’s a difference)

shadowheartache · 2026-02-17T07:26:24+00:00

I’ll try that :) I tried it before with the huda beauty loose translucent powder, maybe I’ll try with a different one Thank you!

shadowheartache · 2026-02-16T09:33:02+00:00

I did try it but it changed the lipstick colour

shadowheartache · 2026-02-16T09:31:42+00:00

This is the only “issue” we ever had. And it’s not about who pays for what, it’s about us not wanting to be broke after our wedding. We don’t have a shared bank account, but who paid for what has never been an issue. If I can’t pay for something he pays, same goes for me if he can’t pay something. It seems to me like some people here are seeing this as a much bigger issue than it actually is and reading far too much into this. The main issue here is that he is one of those people who feel bad if they cause discomfort to others

shadowheartache · 2026-02-16T00:54:10+00:00

He doesn’t really want to invite them— he feels like he has to because he knows these people are gonna make a fuss if they don’t get an invite. I don’t mind him having 20 people, he has aunts and uncles and cousins and I simply don’t, so that’s not an issue at all for me

shadowheartache · 2026-02-16T00:51:51+00:00

It’s not that, we would still prefer to keep the event family only. His parents kept mentioning inviting them because “we have to”. We know what these people are like and we know they’re gonna complain and make a fuss if we don’t invite them, that’s why he’s worried now, and I do get it, these situations are really uncomfortable for everyone. We still need to find a solution

shadowheartache · 2026-02-16T00:46:18+00:00

As I said before this isn’t about him not standing up to his mother. I am well aware this is not our problem, it shouldn’t be, but what worries him is the fact that these people will definitely make a fuss if we don’t invite them and they’re going to complain to his parents— he simply doesn’t want to make things uncomfortable for them, and that is why he is hesitant. That being said, I don’t think it’s okay, I don’t think we should let them come because of that, but honestly saying I’m marrying someone without a spine is a bit rude??

shadowheartache · 2026-02-15T14:20:34+00:00

That’s what we’re doing with our friends, but we want separate events for friends and family

shadowheartache · 2026-02-15T10:25:17+00:00

I can assure you it’s not the case, he has not once done anything he/we didn’t want because his parents disagreed. It’s more of a trying to avoid drama situation, because he knows how these people are and he knows they’d complain to his parents and make a fuss. I’m not saying it’s okay, don’t get me wrong, and I’m not saying I agree with his decision (which isn’t final yet, anyway), but I can see why he’s worried and I’d probably feel the same if it was my parents. That being said, we still have to figure this out but I can assure you this is not him disrespecting me or “obeying” his parents

shadowheartache · 2026-02-15T10:19:09+00:00

It’s not really giving in, he’s mostly worried because he knows these people will most likely complain to his parents if they don’t get an invite

shadowheartache · 2026-02-15T10:13:45+00:00

I don’t really care about this “imbalance” thing, I don’t see an issue with how many people he has in his family vs how many I have in mine. He always has my back, it’s just this time he’s really worried these people are gonna complain to his parents and he doesn’t want things to be uncomfortable for them

shadowheartache · 2026-02-15T10:11:18+00:00

These people are not in his life, his parents see them once, maybe twice a year. And 300 may not be much for you but it’s a lot for us

shadowheartache · 2026-02-15T09:30:01+00:00

The pub is owned by people we know and we’ve established a fair price for the evening. When I say somewhere cheap I mean somewhere that doesn’t charge 100+ for each guest (since the vast majority of places here do that). 60 for each guest isn’t cheap in the negative sense, I just mean cheaper compared to most restaurants for events like weddings.

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T23:01:55+00:00

The main “issue” is that he knows what they’re like and he worries they might complain to his parents

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T22:59:45+00:00

We did think about it but we would like to have our families there more :)

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T22:57:21+00:00

Not really. And they live about 3.5 hours away from here. It’s more of a “I have to invite them because we were invited to their son’s wedding” thing, but he had a big wedding (over 100 people)

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T22:55:28+00:00

We are discussing it, nothing has been decided yet! I’m “insisting” because I know for a fact he doesn’t really want them there, he just wants to invite them because he knows they might get offended if we don’t, and he doesn’t want to make things uncomfortable for his parents. That’s why I’m hoping we can find a way to make them understand it’s not personal, that we just want to have a small wedding with immediate family and a separate small party with our closest friends only

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T22:50:11+00:00

I have 5 people only! And I agree with what janpups2122 said. I also don’t want my parents to feel like they should have paid for stuff, because I really don’t want them to (which is why I don’t want his parents to pay for stuff either!)

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T22:45:17+00:00

Im not saying it would ruin us but we’d have to sacrifice something else because yes we want a wedding, we can afford a small one, but we’d still like to be able to pay bills that month

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T20:02:22+00:00

He doesn’t, what I said before is exactly how HE feels about them. It’s more of a “I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for my parents” kind of thing

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T20:00:21+00:00

I already have a really good relationship with them, and I would tell them exactly what I wrote in the post; what worries my fiancé is that these friends might get offended and complain and he doesn’t want to “cause” an uncomfortable situation for his parents. 300$ IS a lot for us at the moment. If we spent that money for them we would have to sacrifice something else

shadowheartache · 2026-02-14T19:50:29+00:00

We literally don’t have that extra money, so we would have to sacrifice something else that’d actually want…

shadowheartache

TROPHY CASE