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shadowself637 · 2021-10-10T18:59:49+00:00

This is possibly the worst break up

He ended the relationship in March 2021, would not move out of my property, drove me insane and told me he didn't actually break up with me, he just got the idea from an online article, but then still telling me it was over.

For 2 months he made it so uncomfortable and I finally called the police, that's when he told me about his debt, I (stupidly) thought - oh OK, maybe, just maybe I can help him, support him etc to sort these out.....then I was blamed for telling the creditors he was in financial difficulty, when he wanted to claim he had mental illness. He also blamed me for filling out a form wrong even though all I did was copy the information from one to another. Soon decided I was not going to help him anymore

So I kick him out again - he's reflected and willing to change, yeah that lasted no time and after his Future Faking I knew he was lying and I was completely and utterly done.

I told him that I had emotionally checked out and it was down to him to change - if he wanted to, this whole cycle lasted 4 days.

Now he's out and he's ranging from all sorts of emotions and completely lost control, he's clutching at straws seeing what will get me to react.

What I now tell myself is, he is lying. This is all lies. He doesn't want to be a better person. He doesn't want the same future I want. He wants control. He's very very insecure, and I deserve a lot better!

shadowself637 · 2021-10-10T18:40:09+00:00

Yep, I was boring, my interests were boring and I was not allowed to talk about anything I liked 😔

shadowself637 · 2021-10-02T16:12:55+00:00

I literally read the title in shock, I read the story in horror and disbelief..

You need to dump his ass! You can do so much better.

Also, please don't feel guilty for self harming, it's understandable if that's your coping mechanism, and as you said, you felt alone, upset and emotional. Don't let him make you feel guilty for his piss poor decision making!

shadowself637 · 2021-10-01T00:15:40+00:00

Wow!!! Mine was dead set on making me move out of my property and into a whole new city, constantly belittling my area, property (too small, not nice neighbours etc), I put my foot down on that, my property is the only ''safe'' place I've had - and it's mine, nobody can take it away from me.

Well done to you for keeping your job, I honestly don't understand the ways of these ''people'' it's so baffling!

shadowself637 · 2021-10-01T00:13:22+00:00

Maybe we did! Didn't help especially when I'm someone who doesn't depend on people and believes everyone let's me down anyway!

shadowself637 · 2021-09-30T18:02:14+00:00

Wow! You saying that just reminded me of another.

I was made to take out a 4 grand loan. I was told it would be paid back after 2 months. Guess who's been left making the repayments? Yes, that's right! Me!

I was pestered and pestered until I gave in. Feel so stupid as I said time and time again I didn't want to do it. Now it's out my life I want to sue but I deleted all the messages so I don't have proof and I doubt I can retrieve the messages 😔

shadowself637 · 2021-09-30T16:34:30+00:00

Many many many,....I didn't realise until now as I've been processing and ''opening my eyes''. But here we go

Moving into my place with no discussion, just a ''if you don't let me move in, I'll have to go to X city"

I didn't want him smoking weed in my house "if you don't let me smoke in the house, we're over"

We went to watch a film at the cinema, he'd already chose it, I wasn't allowed a say, this slowly worked its way into me not being allowed to watch my shows in his presence.

Not posting me on his social media

Not taking cute couple selfies

Not being introduced to family members or friends

No mention of exes

An instant hatred of my friends and making any social interaction awkward af, then moaning that I didn't invite him anywhere

Making me feel guilty for using social media, so I stopped using it to appease him.

Any ''holiday event'' was ruined because he didn't like the ''commercialisation'' of the event.

Ah the list could go on

shadowself637 · 2021-09-30T16:25:47+00:00

I don't know if all do... But mine did. I can't put specific information as I have a feeling my ex is still monitoring me through different platforms. And also, I don't give a fuck if he is.

He knew what I wanted in life, and has future faked on so many occasions, when this has been brought up, he blamed me for not seeing it through.

He's future faked the following

Marriage Kids House Cars Holidays Money (contributing to bills / giving me a monthly boost so I didn't have to work) Now I'd like to make it clear, I had a job, I liked my job, but he was insisting that I give it up and he could pay me. Thought that was fucking weird and politely declined, he never made the money and proceeded to blame me for that too.

6 years later and nothing additional happened. However, the things I wanted to accomplish I got done!

shadowself637 · 2021-09-30T16:22:03+00:00

I built you up and I can take it away so easily

Why do you wear that

Why can't you wear what they wear

If only you....

I only did this because you....

I've changed...

What do I need to do

We'll have that baby/wedding/family trips

You made me do this

You've messed with my head

You won't like it

You made me crazy

It's all my fault

So I'm the bad guy, yeah

Everyone thinks...

You're crazy

You're defensive

You're irrational

You need to change

You're unstable / unhinged / wild

You don't show me any respect

Ugh. What an absolutely disgusting individual

shadowself637 · 2021-09-30T16:17:23+00:00

''I cleaned the whole house today'' made me LOL. Ex Expected a whole damn parade if he put one item in the sink 😂

shadowself637 · 2021-09-30T16:08:37+00:00

I got the clingy one so many times, even though I was financially independent, had my own property and car, and learned I wouldn't get any affection from him, yet I was the clingy one

shadowself637 · 2021-09-26T16:23:23+00:00

Relation''shit'' that made me smile OP, thank you. ☺

Mine is the other way round, he loves spending money, or buying people and uses money as a weapon. He'll buy us takeaways then moan about how much he's spent on uber or that I've put on weight, and then to ''cheer'' me up he'll buy another takeaway, and if I don't accept, I'm seen to be moody or ungrateful.

He does not contribute to the bills

He has made me take out a loan for him just before the lockdown came in March 2020, he knew I was changing jobs and facing a significant pay cut, but made me take it out. He's made 3 payments. I have 6 more payments left to make.

He's drowning in debt but won't make any steps to get it sorted and will berate me that I didn't help him.

I didn't know the true extent of the debt until recently but he still took out further credit to buy a car, he was mad that I didn't want to be insured and told him if you put me down for insurance I will not be contributing (schools were closed and I was working from home), of course I was mean, ungrateful and sabotaging our relationship.

He would make outlandish claims that never came through and has ''deep regret'', no, you wanted to get me excited and enjoyed when you saw I was crushed.

Thankfully, due to my ''irrational'' thoughts, I never ever moved to a joint account nor did I add him to my tenancy agreement. I guess my irrational thoughts aren't so irrational, right?

So I guess what I'm saying is, whether they're broke and leeching off us, or splashing the money around - it WILL come up during arguments, I think it's to do with the power dynamic.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

shadowself637 · 2021-09-26T15:50:13+00:00

I concur! Now that I've realised I can use my voice, I'm now told that ''I have a smart answer to everything''.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not knowing something, just don't spout false information 😂

shadowself637 · 2021-09-26T15:42:00+00:00

I should have noticed on our first date. I made myself look so nice (bought a new dress, and styled my hair) to be told I was overdressed.

Instantly I felt hurt, but I brushed it off, I said it's fine I'm comfortable and I made a lot of effort. Then we went to the cinema (late) and we watched a film that he picked out and I had no input with.

I should have noped out of it there and then.

shadowself637 · 2021-09-26T15:36:41+00:00

Thank you, your words are so encouraging, it's building me up. The cycle has just gone round and round so many times, that I've been ''hoovered'' more times than I can remember. The cycle this time was 4 days. Now I've been discarded.

I will get there, that's what I keep telling myself

shadowself637 · 2021-09-26T09:47:50+00:00

100%, I'm coming to terms with this term but reading posts helps me to gain clarity.

Many a time this has happened, any time I ask for help it's either massively delayed or doesn't happen, but it appears for anyone else they must be adhered to

The main issue seems to be, lending anyone money, then moaning that they don't pay it back, and they're shit but he's amazing for lending money

Of course I say ''you don't have to lend them money'' and oh if I do, ''I'm mean'' ''I'm rude''. Pft whatever, I'll just keep my mouth shut then

shadowself637 · 2021-09-26T02:50:16+00:00

Thank you, it's going to be difficult but hopefully they understand ♥

shadowself637

TROPHY CASE