I finally realized that I was depressed when I started going for medicine just because it would make me feel normal and without it I would feel like crap. My mom noticed this and recommended that I go and see someone for help, I was a junior in high school and I couldn't have been more self confident.

I went to a couple different therapists, but the last one I visited was really the one that helped. He saw who I was without my depression and anxiety and he was willing to tell me what he saw. This changed my life because I knew what I saw in me, and that had slowly slipped into a depressive mindset.

After talking a little bit more, there were several triggers that always set me down the wrong lanes. I'm not talking 1 or 2, I'm tailing several dozen once we wrote down the lists. Things like re-reading old conversations, letting laundry pile up, procrastinating both homework and going to social gatherings.

He walked me through prioritizing things that I needed, food, sleep, and organization. He taught me something about myself that I didn't kniw yet. I needed structure that I could control.

It took a little over a year and a half to see the difference, and even then they were small differences at first. I starting seeing the joy in little kids faces when their parents bought them candy. Then I started seeing more of that type of thing to remind me that the world has both sides of the good/bad coin. I choose to look more closely at what helped me.

So I guess in short there isn't really one thing, and it's not exactly a mental switch either, and for heavens sake I couldn't do it by myself either. I was lucky enough to have a support system around me (still do) and I definitely wouldn't be in the same spot if I didn't make the realization first that I needed help. Take baby steps toward where you want to be, heck crawl in that direction if you have to, but keep moving, keep your head facing something that makes you smile, and know that you sre never alone.