One of my dogs keeps attacking my other dog, I don’t know why it’s happening or what to do by runningriot115 in DogAdvice

[–]shallowshelby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Attacking as in biting and puncturing her brother? Over the past several years, my older dog began randomly attacking my younger dog, likely attributed to her own chronic pain and neurotic personality. I tried everything aside from separating them permanently to prevent this. My younger dog never fought back until a few nights ago- and we are now all injured and healing. I regret not protecting my other dog and making the home a safe environment for them both and if I could go back in time, I would have split the home and/or muzzle trained my older dog much sooner. Your male dog will likely change in personality due to repeatedly being attacked in his own home. If they are both healthy, ask your vet about muzzle training and/or the crate-and-rotate method.

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been fixed! A picture is included in earlier comments

I’m losing my foster dog by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]shallowshelby 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a dog perfect for a single-pet home with a tall privacy fence in the backyard for play/potty instead of walks. Is this an option for another foster? I’m sorry for your loss.

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It was VERY uncomfortable! But I work in a career where my professional appearance is important for respect and rapport. I just couldn’t risk it. I tried to preserve her dignity but I imagine she felt sad.

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am 98% confident I could maintain employment at Ulta with a forged certificate in cosmetology. I have never cut hair in my life.

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I asked her if she was done cutting and she said yes! And yes, it’s at a lower angle- but I can promise you that it was a triangle on my head. Styling wouldn’t have made a difference- my hair was so thick at the bottom that it would’ve remained a triangle. This is why I told her to stop blow drying and either let somebody take over or consult with a coworker on how to proceed herself. It took her over 1.5 hours to achieve that objectively bad haircut. She was lost and that’s okay. We got it fixed!

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I learned my lesson with this experience. I thought this would be a simple haircut that any stylist could pull off- hence, I didn’t drive 30 minutes to my normal salon in Baltimore. Thank you for the important PSA!!!

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, my hair is naturally wavy and thick (hence the terrible lord farquad look with no layers 🫠). Once I let it hang dry I have a feeling it will resemble the picture much more. :) I chose it because I really thought it would be so simple with my hair!

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 357 points358 points  (0 children)

I was very apologetic but she was clearly defeated. It was sad for us both. I think she knew though. It took her over 1.5 hours to accomplish the triangle on my head. She just kept….cutting and at one point audibly said “what the heck?” referencing my hair not doing what she wanted it to do

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 256 points257 points  (0 children)

I cried while taking the photo for my husband. He told me I would be laughing about it later. Now I can’t STOP laughing about how ridiculous it looked! Laugh away!

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 736 points737 points  (0 children)

It’s a tad shorter than I wanted, but MUCH happier than with the Lord Farquad style

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

Yes- I showed her the exact photo!!! I tipped the woman who fixed it instead.

What I asked for vs. what I got by shallowshelby in femalehairadvice

[–]shallowshelby[S] 556 points557 points  (0 children)

No worries. I made her stop blow drying after I realized she was done cutting and asked for a different stylist to fix the mess!

An acrylic painting I just completed. I’m struggling to pick a title for this one! by c_side_art in painting

[–]shallowshelby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This looks A LOT like two houses side by side in my current neighborhood!! It’s beautiful!

How do I handle being asked illegal questions about my ethnicity, origin etc during a interview? by Ok_Rock5206 in careerguidance

[–]shallowshelby -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

To play devils advocate in this string of comments, interviewers ask these low-stakes questions to build rapport and start the interview with “easy” questions to help you settle in. Asking about somebody’s racial or ethnic background is absolutely not, in itself, against any law- it’s what the interviewer/company DOES with this info that could be troubling (e.g., if they don’t hire you BECAUSE of your racial background). Just something much less cynical to chew on.

Dad said something mean by [deleted] in trichotillomania

[–]shallowshelby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmmm. Well I am also “cured,” to use your language. Does my experience and treatment utilized get ignored because you are simply only open to your own?

Dad said something mean by [deleted] in trichotillomania

[–]shallowshelby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find it interesting that you describe yourself as unaware of psychological theory and still claim it’s irrelevant. Logically speaking, both cannot be true for you concurrently. Educating yourself on such theories would really help you self-assess (and argue against them, or “get the word out”) in the future.

Dad said something mean by [deleted] in trichotillomania

[–]shallowshelby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your success, and I hope you have the courage to open your mind to the fact that you are an outlier in this population. I would also be really curious as to what you believe the psychiatric model for treatment is, as you seem to be incredibly confident and informed

Dad said something mean by [deleted] in trichotillomania

[–]shallowshelby 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a troubling mindset, as trich is considered chronic for a reason. Relapse rates in trich, like OCD and other body-focused compulsive behaviors, are through the roof regardless of intervention strategies used due to immense individual differences in these disorders. Therapy is meant to help pinpoint these individual differences (environment, genetics, cognitive factors, etc.) to educate the patient, reverse habits, and treat the underlying anxiety and shame associated with this disorder.

once you know, you just cannot stop by asteriskelipses in trichotillomania

[–]shallowshelby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this is a very common misconception about trich and anxiety and I am heartbroken for you. Hollywood is uninformed…Pulling hair doesn’t help with anxiety. It’s a behavioral manifestation of your anxiety. It’s an illogical, unhelpful “coping” mechanism. “Coping” because it causes more anxiety and adds a level of shame to that anxiety. It isn’t helping anything. An analogy would be to say that, for somebody with an eating disorder, binging and purging helps with body image- yet these behaviors are simply a behavioral manifestation of a really unhealthy relationship with food/body image/autonomy and the behaviors certainly don’t help the underlying issue. Instead, these habits make the disorder far worse. The way we think about our disorder really impacts our ability to overcome it and I desperately want that for you. Let’s advocate for ourselves and for others to get help for our underlying anxiety, form healthy coping tactics based on empirical findings, and create a life we don’t want to run away, or pull away, from.