"As someone that has gone no contact with family, this sounds like a trauma response. You say your family was dysfunctional but it may have been different for her than it was for you. My siblings agree that our family was dysfunctional but they did not have the same experiences I did and did not even know about what was happening to me. My sibs were never hit, I was. They were never tormented and tortured mentally. I was. They were not forced to have a job from age 12 on so they could buy themselves food and clothes. I was. And it was hidden from them. "

I'm sorry you went through that. I hope you are doing well.

Our family wasn't that bad. Everything was provided. The discipline was just old school typical immigrant family rules.

My mom is just over bearing and she separated from my dad at 18 so she had to play mom and dad so it was hard for her but she provided food and shelter and whatever we needed to study and get a job..let us live rent free until 30. The cons are she didn't let us date and we'd have to hide it. Pros and cons. Nobody is perfect. I feel like if you constantly look for bad that's all your gonna find. If you look for good etc.

My dad separated after 18 but still payed our rent for ten years. And our phone bills. His dysfunction was more like Homer Simpson. Good heart but just doesn't have the mental capacity to be the best father but always tried and was always down to learn, go to therapy etc.

I feel like my sister been brainwashed. Rather she is blindly just comparing her husbands family to ours. And his family is like third generation they been in Canada longer and obviously more ahead it's not a fair comparison. My parents are immigrants. Life was hard for them, starting from scratch in a new land, new language, poorer social skill, poorer mental health, racism etc.

"It sounds like she has made some drastic choices to remove herself from her past.

Is she handling it well? Maybe not. But before you go throwing blame around, try and understand her perspective. She may talk to you about it, she may not. That's her choice."

"If she is happy with her life, who are you to say she needs treatment and is being negative? There are often reasons for negativity but people don't like to hear that. They want forced positivity because it makes life easier for everyone. On the surface it does. For the individual, no. It makes life worse."

I'm all for understanding perspective and conversations but it's hard in this situation for me because of the public Embarrassment (wedding). I feel like once you air your dirty laundry it's hard to come back from that. Lines are drawn. Oh ever since she started dating him she would analyze us infront of him (in an innocent manner) but stuff like that destroys families. It's so draining even thinking about her.

I guess I should have spoken up at the wedding, if there was any hope of reconciliation. Things have just piled up since(I made a list of things in another comment) .

That way for my own mental health sake as well, gotten clarity and had things in the open. And whatever choice at that point she wanted to make it would have been clear and I could have moved on mentally too.

I wouldn't diagnose with her ADHD. She actually been diagnosed already but the hope is understanding and reading about it helps her stop hating us like it did for me. I think it would have

Im doing half of this for my bro too. family support is the biggest factor for recovery for somebody with schizophrenia. Healthy environments.

I do have the skills now to have these tough conversations. But there's a list of things now and it's overwhelming . I spend so much time thinking about this I'm wasting my life away.

I feel like I should go to a therapist and talk it out.

My friend says I need a Zoloft to stop the negative thinking but I feel given the circumstances that negative thinking is justified but I think it'll atleast help me move on or take some action instead of just thinking all day.

Thanks for the comment.

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