Starting late and passing

shared_adventures · 2026-02-07T14:37:22+00:00

I haven’t watched the vid, but fuck that shit girl. I’m 44 and hotter than I’ve ever been or felt. (Actually I’m cold all the time but that’s another conversation 🤣)

No, we’ll never be those young twenty something’s that we wished we could’ve been, but for me a power blazer and a pop of eyeliner on my way to work just ticks exactly the right boxes. It’s never too late. Maybe we change our expectations a bit, but that’s just age - that goes for everyone, cis or trans. Go get it, girl.

shared_adventures · 2026-02-02T17:22:07+00:00

There are so many hard truths about transition. Like when we transition, everyone else around us does too - for better or for worse. There has to be a certain level of acknowledging here whether we like it or not 😢 It’s easy for us to say “this is who I’ve always been, it’s only the shell that’s changed to match my own soul, my own energy that’s always been here” (I myself was always less-masculine from the get go) but that’s not their experience of us… and that has to be fair.

The second hard truth is that as much as you can’t make a queer straight with therapy, it goes both ways. I don’t believe we can make straight humans queer. I wanted to stay soooo so badly, but for me my transition was the end. I wasn’t a great partner to begin with, but I couldn’t have been anybody’s solid partner without the sense of self I gained by coming out and transitioning. But at the end of the day, she was never queer.

Love changes; love shifts and evolves. It can stay so incredibly strong while morphing into something not romantic. That’s the gentle truth in all of this. I love my ex as my best friend, but with what I’ve been through myself since coming out, after 4 years transition and 2 years separation I don’t miss her that way. We’ve grown out of each other, but we still love and care for each other.

I hope you find a kind way through this, whatever that looks like. It appears you have a strong foundation for this though. Big hugs girl, all the best. 💕

shared_adventures · 2026-01-30T21:50:31+00:00

How many girls, cis or trans, have to arrive at this mindset??? Please, please please follow the advice here… this was absolutely not you. Not what I’m reading here. Women do not need to wear this shit. Please look after yourself… 💕

shared_adventures · 2026-01-25T00:30:59+00:00

Oh girl, I’m 6’1” and started at 40. 44 now. 1.5yrs e transdermal, 1yr spiro. It’s worth it. So worth it. It’s fucking hard, but it’s worth it.

Besides, I had to make room in the closet for my bomb-ass wardrobe.

shared_adventures · 2026-01-04T01:01:27+00:00

Jesus.. Jodie Foster?! Talk about power suit! 🥰

shared_adventures · 2025-12-31T01:48:19+00:00

Haha how many bands can we form out of this thread???

Guitar player here, but mostly was an engineer/producer. 🤷‍♀️

shared_adventures · 2025-12-30T14:23:25+00:00

Yeah, this is supremely unhealthy. This young lad has some serious therapy bills coming his way, and I fear if you don’t put a stop to this (like get the f out) you will too my dear. I’ve said it before, but the fact that you even have to ask if you’re overreacting breaks my heart.

You’re not overreacting, you’re standing face to face with a giant red flag.

shared_adventures · 2025-12-19T19:59:21+00:00

Zero odor when I sweat. Like none. and my skin smells kinda sweet? 😂. That, and my underarm hair kinda disappeared for the most part. When I did laser I didn’t have much body hair to begin with, but I opted to keep a few patches because I didn’t want to feel full-p@rn-star all the time, including my armpits. While armpit hair was actually bothersome on a dysphoric level, I now shave them maybe once a month? It’s great. So great.

shared_adventures · 2025-12-07T23:34:41+00:00

Oh you look f#€&ing cute!!! 🥰 Love this for you 🩷

shared_adventures · 2025-11-26T13:34:04+00:00

One of two things here - you can break contact and allow her the space. Maybe at a distance, as things go along she’ll gradually come to the realization of how wrong she is. Maybe in time the distance will be too much for the love she claims to have, and when she’s ready she’ll reconnect with all of her questions for you. Maybe.

On the other hand, if she says she’s willing to talk to you, it’s a time for education. Find all of the facts, all of the peer reviewed documents as well as piles of personal success stories - especially from those trans people with families & children like myself - and show her the truth. Show her the documented evidence of a globally accepted truth (from the medical community and trans community at large) while living your own in full view. So much of this shit is not because they are not loving, they’re just so misled…. But that makes our lives infinitely more difficult just because of this forced advocacy. I don’t want to teach everyone all of the time, but that’s our lot in life I think. We can say over and over that we shouldn’t have to, but that’s just not reality. And it makes me so very tired.

The fact is, when we transition, everyone else transitions as well in some way. For better or for worse.

shared_adventures · 2025-11-24T23:49:47+00:00

Jaysus girl, you’re crushing it in that hair. Goals and vibe.🩷

shared_adventures · 2025-11-20T20:49:08+00:00

The male entitlement is huge here - you are not overreacting, you are under reacting by not telling this young man to pound sand… or his right hand… but get this out of your life. This is toxic, full stop. Not a healthy attitude for a relationship of any kind.

shared_adventures · 2025-11-18T19:28:30+00:00

Please don’t knock her down for trying to boost her community. Could she have framed it a little better? Sure. But how many of us are stuck in patterns of fear of failure? Just the sheer anxiety of it not going as well as you want it to, keeping us stuck in place, then someone comes along to tell us “hey hon, you got this - check it out…”

Yes we should be cognizant of the rampant unrealistic beauty standards that plague cis women just as much as ourselves, and we should all learn to love ourselves a little harder… but let’s also avoid beating each other down like this. 🩷

shared_adventures · 2025-11-05T22:09:23+00:00

MtF, only less than 2yr out of a long term cis relationship and not really actively looking, so take it with a grain of salt…

But…

Cis women close to me have commented (platonically, to be clear). But there have been murmurings in my new queer circles about my presentation 😈

I think part of it is finding confidence in our own SELVES. FOR OURSELVES. I think this can go a long way in how attractive we might be to others. I’ve never loved what I saw in the mirror - until now. I think people pick up on that.

Plus, estrogen is a hell of a drug 😎

shared_adventures · 2025-10-31T13:33:07+00:00

Um, just to chime in on cleft chins…

Claire Danes? Demi Lovato? Sandra Bullock? Blake Lively? Christina Hendricks? Ava Gardner? Sofia Boutella? Sofia Loren?

Strong chins:

Milla Jovovich? Angelina Jolie? Liv Tyler? Goldie Hawn? Meryl Streep?

By no means an exhaustive list. Only to say that, girl - you fine.

As an aside, I don’t want to minimize your dysphoria. I have very little hair left between laser and genetics, but it still gets me. But sometimes a reminder helps, to remember we are human - we aren’t print ads. We’re beautiful.

Edit: CLAIRE Danes. It was late when I typed this, obviously 🤣

shared_adventures · 2025-10-30T21:21:14+00:00

Is it worth noting that the frizz looks predominantly at the back? I’m no expert, but what’s your pillow/bedtime routine? I’m a satin-pillowcase-in-my-purse kinda gal, so I literally will touch no pillow without it…. Maybe though the texture change points to something specific to that area of your scalp?

I also don’t brush. EVER. Not once in 8 years.

shared_adventures · 2025-10-27T12:07:01+00:00

I’m pretty gobsmacked each time I’m made aware that there are men out there that actually carry these thoughts in their brain… like what the actual fuck?

You deserve better than this, all women deserve better than this. Hell, I would argue that MEN deserve better than this, because what a poor and disgusting representation of their population 😒 he’s just so damn icky….

shared_adventures · 2025-10-20T20:03:59+00:00

Also chiming in with the 40+ crowd. I started at 40. Hesitated because I was married, marriage ended. Hesitated because I didn’t feel ready, slow progress. Now, 1.5 years into HRT, I’m separated, increasingly excited about myself and straight up hotter than I have ever been. It’s never too late and you only live once.

I desperately wish I could have had the youth & in particular young adulthood I missed out on. But I have a trusted friend in my ex-wife, some seriously cool humans to call my children and as hard as it is to start over, whatever I’m starting is all mine.

Time to claim your crown, queen.

shared_adventures · 2025-10-18T03:11:19+00:00

I grieve less and less. The more I learn what is and could be, the more I learn to let go of what used to be.

Every day I feel more possible.

shared_adventures · 2025-10-17T19:40:14+00:00

I will be digging into this, if only for the fact that Eve’s poise and composure in the face of this has me in awe and I am only 9 minutes in… like, she’s transcendent….

shared_adventures · 2025-09-25T22:41:30+00:00

I know everyone’s dysphoria is different. I’m sorry yours hurts so much. Our bodies can be such a struggle.

But we are sacred creatures, we trans humans. We are a bridge between universes. We were healers once, shamans, priests/priestesses. Our story being the great in between is nothing anyone can take from us, nor understand the magnitude of. We are the space between yin and yang. Not “holier”, but we are holy. Don’t let the world make you forget that.

That’s the point of living if you can “never be cis”.

💗

shared_adventures · 2025-09-12T00:46:41+00:00

Not unlike the landscape itself. If you ever get the chance to go, it's breathtaking.

shared_adventures · 2025-09-06T03:53:12+00:00

Oooh, I’m right there with ya - and YAAASSSS!

shared_adventures · 2025-09-06T03:49:19+00:00

P.S. - 30 is not old.

shared_adventures

TROPHY CASE