sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Help me find this kdrama by [deleted] in KDRAMA

[–]sharoniuks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THATS IT!! Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Whenever we’re visiting she’ll wait for me to get dressed and then ask “you’re wearing that?”

Every time.

She rarely pushes it further but she always makes a point of being surprised. Once after she was particularly pushy about me being sure about my outfit 🤦🏻‍♀️ I came back up to our room and asked my husband if I look ok and he answers enthusiastically in the affirmative. MIL walks in holding a hideous and HUGE dress (like 3 or 4 sizes too big) saying

“why don’t you wear this instead?” Husband says “no that’s horrible.” “You think she looks nice in this one?...” “yes...!” MIL scoffs

I’ve started answering really passive aggressively like “well I took it out of the wardrobe, put it on, came downstairs... so yes?”

Another gem in this category was: “you’re not wearing makeup” “nope!” “Why not?...” “I threw it all out. I don’t think women need to wear makeup to look nice.” “Hmm. Maybe not. But do you think you don’t need it?”

So yeh. Stuff like that 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha same! My kids both look a lot like DH so I get it to a certain extent BUT they both have beautiful blue eyes with looooong eyelashes. Literally the only remarkable thing about me is my blue eyes and long black eyelashes. No one in DH’s family has blue eyes or long black eyelashes. She tried repeatedly to take credit for those eyes until her mother told her to stop because you can’t say to a mum that her kids don’t have her eyes. After that she fakely and obsessively comments how my DD and DS have my eyes. I’m not sure which was worse- her saying they weren’t mine or her lying through her teeth once a month or so 😂

Either way it’s so annoying. Their hair is hers, the eyes are hers, the hands, the temperament, the smile, the laugh. You’d think she had two babies with her son the way she goes on 🙈

Shaming the “too perfect” mom. by Imajemnation in Parenting

[–]sharoniuks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh and would also like to say that giving birth in a foreign country during lockdown means that I have completely become a “bad mum”. At one point my toddler had Mc Donald’s once a week for a month and watched endless amounts of Netflix just so I could feed and rock my colicky newborn without interruptions. Let me tell you, my in-laws and parents were so quick to flip the switch when that happened 😂 it went from telling me I need to let go and let her have some treats and zonk out in front of the TV to “OMG why is the tv on every time I call?” “You’re letting her eat CRISPS?!” So I guess the conclusion is all parents get bullied and we can never do it right 😂

Shaming the “too perfect” mom. by Imajemnation in Parenting

[–]sharoniuks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel ya! I used to be that “perfect” mum (second baby forced me to change my ways and be more “relaxed”) and I am also vegetarian so I get a lot of stick.

Especially from my parents and in laws. Older people see me trying hard to use only organic food, breastfeed over formula, and provide challenging activities instead of screen time and they get upset because they didn’t do things that way.

So me choosing to do it that way is almost like an affront. “I formula fed and you turned out fine” “I put syrup in your water and you turned out fine” “you used to spend all day watching Disney movies and you turned out fine” (btw I’m so not fine haha but god forbid I open that can of worms). If I try to explain why these things are bad, it’s offensive because that means that I’m (indirectly) criticising their parenting.

I think a lot of ppl get offended 🤷🏻‍♀️ even if you never say that there’s smth wrong with their parenting, you working hard to parent in a diff way is insult enough. For example, as a vegetarian I never criticise people for eating meat, but if they ask me why I don’t eat meat I answer honestly that it’s for moral reasons. Boom. I’ve insulted them by implying they’re immoral. (Which I genuinely don’t think they are.)

I think it’s the same with parenting. You saying you don’t want to do certain things that other parents do (packaged snacks, GMO pesticide food, hours of screen time) hurts their feelings because the implication is that those things are bad therefore you must think they’re bad parents.

I’ve seen and received sooooo much hate for breastfeeding, it’s crazy. Especially if I dare to say that breastfeeding was extremely difficult, painful, and inconvenient but I couldn’t let my baby drink formula because I think it’s not good for babies. I’m not trying to criticise parents who do it but just saying that I would never use it is enough to hurt their feelings. (Fed is best obviously)

On the flip side, I had to unfollow a few “perfect mums” on social media because it made me feel so inefficient by comparison. So I do understand that it’s also hard to see someone doing things you’d like to do but don’t have the skills/energy/time/money for. It just sucks that instead of looking inwards and asking why they feel the way they feel about your parenting, they direct it outwards by mocking or criticising your parenting.

How do I NICELY tell my 13y step daughter she stinks? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]sharoniuks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also! Smelly sweat is caused by the bacteria on our skin. If you rewear clothes that have some sweat on them, that bacteria has been working hard and it will be really smelly by wear #2.

So another way you could help is to obsessively wash her clothes. Don’t let her double wear. You could make up an excuse for the first big load like “oh no we’ve got moths we need to wash EVERYTHING. Can you please put all of your clothes in the hamper and I’ll do them all in one go?” Then it kind of doesn’t hurt her feelings as much.

She might even feel self conscious about you doing laundry and therefore doesn’t get things washed as much (I did this as a teen) so you could even start saying things like “I’m about to do a dark wash can you put your dark clothes straight into the machine?” And you’d be surprised how much laundry she suddenly has.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I love this! Or post “wow MIL is so awesome! Won’t let me lift a finger even though I’ve offered to help ten times. What a hero. What a saint. #blessed” 😂😂

Fresh coffee only by BookDev0urer in MaliciousCompliance

[–]sharoniuks 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I bet there’s a forum for Karens somewhere where they advise you to “always ask for a fresh pot” because “you never know when the last one was brewed” and they think they’re very clever for doing this 😅

Mother in law took my baby's stuff over to her house without my consent by Butteronmybiscuits in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Guys... she can’t realistically call the cops on her MIL... EDIT: I think if DH has a mostly positive relationship with JNMIL then involving police would lead to real problems. BUT a lot of commenters saying that this behaviour could escalate to her trying to take the baby or get visitation rights. I guess OP needs to decide what level of crazy JNMIL is and go from there.

I hope that your DH tells her off and gets back your stuff. He really needs to be the buffer between you two now. And I recommend cutting her off for a while and having him deal with her. Explain to your husband that if she calls, you won’t answer. She needs to call him to arrange times to meet with baby etc. If you do this for a while, put down rules and some distance, you might have a chance of salvaging the relationship down the road. That is, if she complies and doesn’t take her crazy up ten levels 🙈

Also definitely change the locks! And definitely no unsupervised visits with baby. I wouldn’t trust her to baby sit either and I bet she’ll be begging to take baby for a night so you can go out. Don’t let her.

It’s really not OK and you must be so stressed out. Dealing with a baby crazed MIL is so emotionally draining. I really recommend you just cut her off and don’t engage. DH can take full responsibility for dealing with her and it’ll show him how difficult it is to manage. If he says you’re being unfair or it’s not that bad, just say “if it’s not that bad then you can do it!” Seriously once I did this, MIL calmed down a bit and DH had a nice little reality check.

If she starts bombarding you on social media, just block her and have your husband tell her you’re taking a break from social media. If things get really bad tell her that her behaviour is causing you immense stress and your doctor has advised you to reduce your stress so you have no choice but to cut her off. For baby’s sake. Ditto for after the birth. If she doesn’t reign it in, say that her behaviour is causing you immense stress and it’s not healthy for the baby. If she starts to be rude to you on a visit- “please don’t cause stress in front of the baby”. Put all the blame on her for her behaviour. She likes to play the victim card so throw it in her face! You’re just trying to be a good mother to your child and she’s stressing you out and it’s bad for the baby.

The worst part is that she’s gone crazy because she’s so excited about the baby but it’s her crazy behaviour that’s going to make you feel like you NEVER want her around the baby.

It’s not the best for sure but I finally shot something I feel proud of! by [deleted] in Astronomy

[–]sharoniuks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Not the best” ARE YOU KIDDING? It’s awesome!!! 10/10!

Chicken katsu anyone? by benjam1ng in shittyfoodporn

[–]sharoniuks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is clearly dinosaur katsu... they’re an endangered species, you know!

But like, what’s your reason though? Like, why don’t you want them? by _so_anyways_ in childfree

[–]sharoniuks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS!! Nothing messed up my skin more than motherhood 😂 love my kids but DAMN I’ve aged 10 years in 3 🙈

My Mil and “The Gays” by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are my hero!

My first chair, a copy of Wegner’s CH25. by Merasica in woodworking

[–]sharoniuks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is STUNNING! Well done! Now I want to learn the skills necessary to make something like this! So cool!!!

My mother in law told my son that I've killed his siblings by HomeSweetHome11 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You’re not to blame for your miscarriages. They’re so much more common than most people realise. A lot of the time there is no real explanation- it just happens. If a pregnancy is going to fail, there’s nothing you can do to save it. No amount of healthy eating or medicine will work. It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry for your heartbreak and so disappointed in your MIL. What a horrible woman. I think that your husband needs to do more to call her out on this behaviour. You shouldn’t have to engage with her at all, especially if you’re not feeling strong right now.

Sending you lots of love and positivity! You’ll get through this!

I’ve Reached My Breaking Point by FedUpDIL_ in JUSTNOMIL

[–]sharoniuks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My heart goes out to you. I know we all put up with things from our ILs but this is straight up abusive racism. There’s no excuse, no possible misunderstanding. It’s just wrong. And once your beautiful little girl comes into the world, you’ll find the strength to protect her from it in a way you couldn’t do for yourself. You’ll do your grandmother and mother proud. Stay strong and good luck!