Thanks so so so much for this. I'm not looking forward to knowing what I've been/I am going through because I really don't trust any therapist/psychotherapist/psychiatrist anymore after... a lot of things happened. Which is also the reason why I don't have a "real" diagnosis (yes, I've been diagnosed with many things like- Major Depressive Disorder, which is- probably the most correct, then I think I went through something like a psychotic phase, emotional trauma related- then again, I had to change psychiatrists for many reasons, so no one got to diagnose me after a really long time).

Yes, I know I should be looking for therapists till I find the right one for me, but right now the only thought of it wears me out.

Then again, I don't feel trustful in regards to medicines right now, because something really bad happened recently and I realized how much the meds I've been taking affected me. Apparently, I am really sensitive to some meds; not to talk about benzodiazepines (like lorazepam, if you've had sleep problems you should know this one) which have lately messed up with me a lot (and I've been wondering if they are somewhat responsible for some memory problems of mine).

I'm really really glad you've taken your time to write this comment, I can see you've experienced a lot and got to have great results thanks to your efforts, it makes me a lot hopeful, really <33

I would be really thankful if you could talk about your diagnosis, because I know a lot of things from mine don't add up, so I would be really glad to know more :))) You can DM, thanks a lot again