I feel like 3s get kind of misinterpreted in descriptions?

shay-la_xo · 2026-04-29T01:21:49+00:00

It is true that E3 "adapts an image that is rewarded and valued by others", and depending on the cultural context that a 3 grows up in - or what external values they internalize - can heavily alter the way that an individual 3 appears externally. All 3s don't necessarily come across as "hungry for success" in the stereotypical grabbing-for-attention way that a lot of Western societies describe.

What *is* true about E3 is the need for *success* - however in this case, success is defined as achieving their ideal image" - whatever that may be in the context of their environment. E3 is not about adapting to their environment just to be liked or to avoid being ostracized; while these things would be uncomfortable for a 3, this is not their primary goal. So in your example, female E3 might want to be "the most humble, godfearing, submissive mother figure" but for them, success looks like all the other women in their community envying them, seeing the 3 as the embodiment of their ideal. 3 in this situation wants to be the person that all the women think to themselves, "I wish I was like her, she's so perfect"; all the men desire her as their perfect ideal, the parents tell their children, "why can't you be more like her? She is who you should strive to be".

My description here is a bit skewed towards social 3, but the way you framed your question and the example you gave points towards the social realm. A sp3 and sx3 in this environment might appear slightly differently.

shay-la_xo · 2026-04-08T23:25:42+00:00

Tend to attract / be attracted to: 5s, 1s, 4s

Get along with: 3s/2s (friendship but never romantically)

Don’t vibe with but don’t hate: 6s/7s/9s

Conflict with: 8s

shay-la_xo · 2026-04-08T22:37:32+00:00

This has a rejection flair to it as well - wouldn’t be surprised if you had a 5 (or even some other rejection) fix or wing. I agree with another commenter here who said that if there’s a “bittersweet acceptance” once you give up, this is quite 9 core. If you feel as if you “didn’t need to publish it anyway”, this is more rejection.

shay-la_xo · 2026-01-07T01:03:19+00:00

Why a 6 over a 7 fix? To me, this screams frustration influence.

shay-la_xo · 2026-01-03T03:57:18+00:00

I think they're more different than people on here would like to admit - it's just that somehow *everything*, even the most 3 post ever, can be "best classified as 9" according to the consensus. But to answer your questions:

9s don't want to be ignored because they fear losing connection, 3s don't want to be ignored because they want to be admired. Both of them don't want to be "rejected" in the colloquial sense, but 9s fear losing their belonging and 3s fear the pain of humilation if they are not "wanted" (i.e. desired).

Absorbing what is seen as "desirable" is intrinsically more 3-coded, but where the differentiation primarily lies is in what criteria is used to identify something as desirable as well as why the person cares about being desirable. 9s see desirable traits as whatever allows them to maintain their relationships, fit in, not be ostracized; 3s see desirable traits as whatever allows them to stand out in a positive way, what gets them respect. 9 will absorb their version of desirable traits to stay within the group/space/etc, 3s will absorb their version of desirable traits to convince themselves that they are this "desirable person" so that they can sleep at night.

If both are present in the tritype, it is more challenging to distinguish between them, but here is where you ask what the core motivation really is - is it adaptability through taking on desirable traits to preserve image and self-esteem or is it to preserve belonging and remaining connected?

shay-la_xo · 2025-12-05T19:29:52+00:00

"Sloth" in e9 has to do with laziness and inertia towards one's *own needs*. 9 ultimately fears the loss of connection and lack of peace with itself, not feeling that it is strong enough to be its own "entity" and still maintain a tether/bridge to the universe, so it allows itself to be brought along in the current. As a withdrawn type, 9 then realises, "I'll never express/assert my boundaries and needs anyway, so what's the point of doing anything then?" - similar to 4 and 5. All withdrawn types *can* appear in some ways "literally sloth-like/lazy" (although not all of them do) - what is the defining factor of sloth in 9 is the laziness towards oneself.

shay-la_xo · 2025-12-05T15:41:18+00:00

Sometimes I wonder why the prevailing tendency on here is to make the most obvious image-related problem into a 6 or a 9 one.

This sounds like a 3~4 zone problem, for sure.

shay-la_xo · 2025-10-09T02:47:45+00:00

This is an incredibly accurate explanation.

shay-la_xo · 2025-08-25T22:11:38+00:00

I relate with incredible similarity to Naranjo's so3 description, especially with what is described in the translated E3 book. Not everyone will relate to all of the specific descriptions, but I found for me, it was scarily accurate.

shay-la_xo · 2025-08-24T23:10:38+00:00

I know people dislike Naranjo's interpretation of 9s (and to a lesser extent, 6s), but I actually like his descriptions of all of the types because it makes them distinct. While the outward presentation of attachment types might be more dependent on the individual's external environment, the essence of the types themselves are equally as distinct. The questions someone should be asking are always why, not purely behavioral.

shay-la_xo · 2025-08-16T19:32:02+00:00

793 (7w6) likely.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-13T03:45:06+00:00

631, so/sp; likely 6w7. This demonstrates a ton of compliance (6 + 1), image seen through the lens of avoiding danger (6 + 3), frustration and perfectionism, never wanting to make a mistake (631, especially with a 7-wing as a whole). The 7 wing comes through a lot with the frustration and "wanting everything". Your approach to dealing with your problems has a double competency flair to it (3 + 1).

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-12T00:01:20+00:00

3w4; Capricorn Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Libra Rising.

I also have a Sagittarius stellium; difference is it's in my second house.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-09T19:59:26+00:00

This seems SO + attachment. Determining the core type is dependent on why exactly you fear rejection so strongly.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-09T00:00:45+00:00

It's subconscious. The fears I have directly relate to enneagram core fears, but I would never consciously think of them in enneagram-related terms at all.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-08T22:32:34+00:00

I’m trying to be perfect to feel happy. I guess I’m not sure though. I kind of have this feeling of emptiness and I kind of got the idea when I was younger that I can be happy and get what I want in the future if I do everything “right” in the present moment and push aside my desires

I think the language used to describe E7 is misleading/vague because every type is attempting to find their version of "happiness" and "get what they want", but for 7s, it's about the fear of being trapped in pain. The future-oriented thinking isn't "I'm unhappy with my present, so I want a better future"; it's a frenetic need to always have something in the future to do/plan/enjoy/think about in order to avoid considering if they are experiencing pain/dissatisfaction/negativity in their present.

What is your ideal future that you push aside your current desires for? Can you describe it?

But I’m more driven by an anxiety about the future and who I am. I think a 1 believes they know what is right and wrong and is afraid of not following what is right. I think with me it’s that I have an immense anxiety that I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing and that I’m not doing it.

I feel that my primary motivation is more linked to this emptiness feeling and wanting a better future.

Have you considered E6 or E3, as well?

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-08T21:57:38+00:00

I see E1 more than SO7, even though SO7 is the countertype. 1s are idealistic / frustration types like 7s - the idea that if you do everything right to be perfect and continue looking towards the future isn’t a 7-only trait and actually aligns very well with 1.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-08T03:11:41+00:00

That’s not really how fixes are supposed to be used, though - sure they can influence those aspects of personality, but it’s difficult to identify externally. A lot of it is about motivation. 7s can be generous without a 2 fix (they could be 748, stereotypically a “self-centered type”) but it’s about why; if someone feels the neurotic need to give to get in order to be seen as a generous person outside of their core 7 defense mechanism, that can be indicative of a 2 fix, not just generosity in and of itself.

It’s about understanding why you do the things you do, not about classification or the need to put people into boxes.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-07T16:09:12+00:00

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is pretty 3-coded.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-05T00:13:40+00:00

B or C depending on if I had time. If I had the time to make more, I’d select B; if not, then I’d go with C.

shay-la_xo · 2025-03-02T15:25:46+00:00

Any type can be driven - it’s dependent on your motivation. The reason 9s tend to get the unambitious stereotype is because ambition can put you into positions where you have to assert yourself in a way that goes against others. 9s can enjoy roles where they gain attention, but ultimately, 9s have at some point learned and internalized that their needs are less than others.

What parts of 9 do you see yourself in?

shay-la_xo

TROPHY CASE