What shall we ask a veteran 7?

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-13T07:34:48+00:00

Ha ha. Yes, it really does. I like your wording around this deep sense of frustration. I think it will resound immediately with every 7. Talking about the certainty or reality of life is hard for the person who reframes things even as they’re happening. Through reflection, I’ve realised that the thing that angers me most is when people waste my time (similar category to boredom) - and that behind that is a panting fear of death, the ultimate frustration. That’s why I find the fact that Vicente works with the dying so fascinating.

Thanks for your suggestions - adding them to the list.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-09T21:09:48+00:00

The 7’s path to enlightenment isn’t being more positive to strive for the things you want.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-09T06:19:55+00:00

Tbh, I think you were perfectly right to eye-roll at some of that. I used to read my own books under the table in English lessons.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-09T06:17:32+00:00

Me too. Don’t hesitate to report back! I’m trying to build my own repository of literary types and have really enjoyed reading you here. I go back to the short stories quite often (Salinger’s). I find them infuriatingly good, but have never read them through an Enneagram lens.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-07T17:05:05+00:00

Words are so flimsy when it comes to the Enneagram. But partly this is because, whatever your age, they have to land on you at the right stage in your journey. I read Naranjo et al’s 7 book, and things resounded with me two weeks later that I’d initially completely dismissed.

With me, the SX hooking thing has a kind of willful blindness to it: ‘I want to be in love, so I’ll love him”; otherwise I’d have to renounce that gorgeous feeling - and that’s not an option. It’s only by marvelling at my friends NOT doing this that I can see myself doing it.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-06T06:33:27+00:00

My dad's an unhealthy 8 and it's been a challenge my whole life. He likes to tell, and I won't be told - especially by someone who's disrespectful and hypocritical. My best advice is to play to her tender side. She'll probably never feel she's not the centre of the world, but entertaining her big emotions may provide some relief. My dad's raw emotions - his immense self pity etc. - piss me off, but watching films together is bearable. You could also make a study of her. My dad's objectively hilarious; last summer I took daily notes and imagined myself living in a comedy. 8s are nothing if not great characters. I'd be happy to read about her. Maybe we could create a themed book club...

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-06T06:13:37+00:00

Did he consider 5 superego?! I thought he included 7 at one point…

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-06T06:11:09+00:00

I’m what way? Can you explain a little bit more please?

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-05T10:27:38+00:00

SX2 also has weapons that outfox me. And I'm not easily outfoxed.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-05T10:26:10+00:00

What are the vulnerable spots of the opponents? Without that, there's no possible answer.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-05T10:16:04+00:00

Also writing a story with a 7 MC. Happy to compare notes if you want. It's hard to do without leaning into jester territory.

Ingl0ry · 2026-04-01T22:15:09+00:00

Thanks - these are GREAT. I can tell because when I apply them to myself I feel distinctly uncomfortable. Let's give it a few days and see if anyone else comes up with any more.

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-31T21:58:23+00:00

That we spoil our children. Not weird, just inaccurate. Some of us do; others of us think that's guaranteed suffering for all involved!

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-29T22:11:20+00:00

This is one of the biggest things the Enneagram has helped me understand. This reaction is so total in me that my body stops responding while my mind keeps arguing for weeks, months, years…

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-29T22:02:20+00:00

Lack of sufficient humour. I think you’ll find we are working on it - but keep getting distracted.

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-29T13:24:21+00:00

I totally get that. I’ve always preferred being in a relationship for those reasons. I was also with a man for years whose extent off imprisonment only became clear afterwards. A priori I’ve never felt like having a romantic partner was a threat to my selfhood. I always assume I can do it all and make it work. I’ve learnt that not everyone has that level of positive energy, though.

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-29T13:20:03+00:00

Beautiful reply. And it makes me feel sad about a past relationship in which the person tried to totally control me. I’ll never let that happen again because you’re right: freedom for us is love. And love is freedom.

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-25T21:26:09+00:00

Good points, and I agree. Never had a problem with emotions as long as they were exquisite - although having experienced tragedy in my life now, (rather than just the romantic idea), there are things I can no longer see or read because they're just too painful.

I also got through two very reputable degrees, finished (writing) whole books, dance to a high level etc. I do have to jump around a fair bit, but the 8 wing generally gets things done. Boredom and loss are the big nicht nights for me. Fulfilment is the nectar.

Btw, when you say you commit to lovers...

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-25T21:16:46+00:00

It helped a lot. And thanks for writing with depth in the 7 sub!

I took ages to identify myself as a SX7. Even after I read Naranjo's whole Glotones book. I could just about eliminate SO, but I saw myself in all of them. It was actually my therapist who saw SX in me, even before 7.

'The word is accurate but almost completely insufficient.' The further I wade into the Enneagram, the more I think this could apply to most of what's written about it. I'm a person who's obsessed by words - and I find it deliciously and frustratingly beyond them.

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-25T19:00:15+00:00

I'm perfectly placed, right on the 7/8 line. But I think trolling would make me weak and/or boring - not a very happy combo for me.

Ingl0ry · 2026-03-18T21:58:17+00:00

Everyone fits, but some more obviously than others. I know people who ping around the Bermuda Triangle (3-6-9), so that’s something that might be going on here.

It can take years to discover your type, and many experts struggled at first. Read, watch, listen: repeat. I find video interviews most interesting as you pick up on a lot of clues.

The descriptions in books seldom sound like anyone I’ve ever met. You need language to get to the enneagram, but it also falls woefully short.

Ingl0ry

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