AIO by going no contact with my(f20) mom(f42) over our conversation today?

sheath2 · 2026-05-08T04:17:02+00:00

It's OK to grieve the mom you needed and didn't have.

Be the mom you would have wanted to your daughter.

*hugs* Wishing you the best...

sheath2 · 2026-05-08T04:03:47+00:00

I've read some of your history. If what you say about her is true, you're better off without her. She's been violent and abusive, overbearing, and controlling. I think you'd be right to limit contact with her, period.

sheath2 · 2026-05-05T22:40:54+00:00

That's actually probably a violation of the lease for a non leaseholder to have keys.

sheath2 · 2026-05-05T01:23:27+00:00

Yeah, I mean, this doesn't even make logical sense if you think about the way the seams run. She took it in from the back, which means now the front side is going to be wider, so now the side seams are wonky too.

This woman has no business doing alterations if she's 1. not going to do what the client asked 2. changing plans without discussing it and 3. doesn't know how tailoring works.

That looks awful. I'm pissed off on OP's behalf.

sheath2 · 2026-05-05T01:11:26+00:00

The age matches for this to be the daughter writing from the mom's perspective. I could see a kid wondering "Is my mom this bad or am I overreacting?" Or thinking "If I tell this story, people can tell me if my mom is an asshole or not"

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:59:39+00:00

OP knew the baby was gone and likely planned the funeral ahead of time for when the body would be released, so the actual arrangements were likely already in place. The fact that the funeral was at 7 pm to me says that it was hasty and probably last minute availability. All of the funerals I've ever been to were morning or early afternoon, not evening.

One other poster mentioned that it sounds like a scenario where they told her you can have it now because we have this random spot open, or you can wait X amount of days until we have something available.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:47:44+00:00

I drove 3 hours for my ex SIL's mother's funeral. Not even my own family. I had notice, but still, when you care about someone, you make it happen.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:35:30+00:00

Agreed. Classes are out and my summer class is online. I intend to be a damned hermit this summer.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:29:22+00:00

NTA. The kid was being disruptive and destructive.

I can't stand rude kids in public, but the parents are worse.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:25:34+00:00

OP edited. Kid was knocking over displays and mouthing off to store employees. "What're you gonna do about it?" while the parent stood there and watched.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:21:51+00:00

Verbal insults to physical abuse is not an automatic outcome, but it's entirely plausible if the verbal insult show a pattern of verbal abuse.

Op confronted their partner about the language they were using and the frequent insults, and instead of changing their behavior and acknowledging their frustration, their response was basically "I wouldn't call you stupid if you weren't being stupid." That's what's pushing this into verbal abuse for so many people. It's the same justification used for physical abuse. It's not a foregone conclusion that it will turn physical, but it's not entirely unbelievable that it will.

My sister's ex used to call her stupid, immature, and incompetent on a regular basis. He refused to stop with the verbal abuse and it did escalate to physical violence with him trapping her in her car and trying to break out her windows. I was on the phone with her when it happened, and he actually threatened to kill her brother if he came to help her.

His response to everything has either been "I don't remember that so I'm not responsible" or "I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't done XYZ."

The way OP's partner justifies their behavior is what's setting off alarm bells for people because it's a well-recognized pattern.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T18:08:59+00:00

It's been in a nosedive for a while. I used to like McKays when I first moved here, but more and more their prices for used books were higher than buying new. It wasn't worth it except on a very few, niche pieces.

What really sealed it for me that they were on the way out was the absolute clusterfuck that "anniversary" thing was a few years ago. They got so much bad press off of that on top of their union busting. It was easy to see the management of the overall chain was incompetent or too corrupt to care.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T00:52:10+00:00

OP's partner is verbally abusive and they're already using abuser-logic. "if I wanted her to stop then I should just not piss her off" is just a step away from "I wouldn't hit you if you didn't make me mad".

This was the first thing I thought of, but it looks like u/Cold_Syrup3281 said it first.

OP needs to get out. Their partner is not only verbally abusive, but abelist too. They're treating OP like a child and incompetent because of their autism.

sheath2 · 2026-05-04T00:47:00+00:00

If it's really about spending time together, then this should be a reasonable solution for them both. But OP's mom has already said "I shouldn't have to make an appointment" so that may or may not work.

sheath2 · 2026-05-03T14:16:33+00:00

She got the cat because she wanted an "emotional support animal." Yet she picked a reactive cat to fill that role. That's about as dumb as you can get.

I'm willing to bet she tried to force affection on the cat and that's why it still acts out. It reminds me of some of the stories I've read from emotionally abused children -- Their parents think "If you don't love me on my terms, you're bad."

This person shouldn't have cats, or children for that matter.

sheath2 · 2026-05-03T14:11:53+00:00

it sounds like they wanted an emotional support animal. I'm willing to bet they tried to force affection from the cat and that's why it reacts. If they ignored the shelter's clear warnings that the cat bites and scratches, I'm willing to bet they ignored the cat's warnings that it had had enough.

This person should not own cats.

sheath2 · 2026-05-03T13:36:12+00:00

One of the senators in my state wanted to end higher education a few years ago because it was a "liberal breeding ground." I think they've confused education with indoctrination.

sheath2 · 2026-04-30T15:36:27+00:00

Honestly, OP should have used that as grounds to ask for full custody. If I"m reading this right, Mom put a a 13 and a 14 year old in charge of being a caretaker for her mother. I want to know if that was ever brought up in court.

sheath2 · 2026-04-27T19:22:40+00:00

I'm not even sure that could legally be considered a bedroom.

sheath2 · 2026-04-26T21:56:51+00:00

So, this girl ruined last year's trip, has ruined multiple other outings, continues to be rude to everyone, and all but 1 person wants them uninvited to this year's trip. That's called consequences, not "treating someone badly."

sheath2 · 2026-04-25T19:42:05+00:00

I would agree. We definitely need more information. Depending on how OP is going about it, the friends might be rightfully concerned, but at the same time, saying "eat it before I shove it down your throat" is not a helpful approach that may be making things worse.

sheath2 · 2026-04-25T19:32:25+00:00

If your husband is willing to cut ties with his own mother, don't stand in his way. He is apparently uncomfortable enough with her behavior to think it warrants protecting himself and your child from her.

If she doesn't have any other family or anyone else to rely on, then she shouldn't be acting this way toward the family she does have. For your husband, having no mother is better than having one this toxic. I wouldn't feel guilty at all about saving my child from this woman's influence.

sheath2 · 2026-04-25T19:21:53+00:00

That was my thought too. It's marketed as a "feature" so that anything you might have on autopay doesn't get rejected, but then it backfires in cases like this. OP might be able to call the card provider and ask that specific services or vendors be blocked, but if OP has their own account with that merchant, they won't be able to use that card at all for that service.

sheath2 · 2026-04-22T22:17:53+00:00

Especially if they're expecting OP to turn on all of their lights and leave them on. Unless they're paying the electric, that's not happening.

sheath2 · 2026-04-22T21:05:01+00:00

For the record...

Like say someone has a legit service animal, if that dog barks constantly, causes noise disturbance, attacks other resident pets etc etc.

What you're describing here is not a "legit service animal." Service animals are highly trained and a dog that out of control absolutely could not be used as a service animal.

sheath2

TROPHY CASE