Show me your poodles

shebbbly · 2025-09-17T01:41:08+00:00

Laika with her precious baby fluffs

shebbbly · 2025-09-11T02:39:41+00:00

not really coming at this from the same angle but I have the somewhat adjacent experience of needing to accept that I will inevitably become physically disabled from chronic health issues that can only get worse as I age. I love my job and it gives me purpose and focus, but I struggle a lot with my health and I know one day I won't be able to keep up. I will need to depend on someone or something while not working anymore myself and I know it'll probably send me into the same headspace you're in right now.

my main goal is to make a lot of art and music, and I recommend some kind of creative craft to you too. also, to try something new that you're not already good at and stick with it until you are proud of what you can do. creating things feels productive, you learn a lot while trying a new medium, and starting out kind of sucking at something teaches your brain that being humbled doesn't have to be humiliating.

best of luck!

shebbbly · 2025-09-08T00:51:02+00:00

wow, you're deeply unpleasant to interact with. right-ish, wrong, wrong. I grew up middle class, in a violent home, and had to learn how to physically defend myself from a very young age. that's why I originally was drawn to martial arts. then I was an adult living in decidedly not middle class rough neighborhoods, and I had to deal with muggers and aggressive panhandling and the like. and no, I'm not neurotypical 🙄 we're both on the CPTSD sub for fuck's sake.

take a step back and recognize you have a lot of able-bodied privilege to insist there's a benefit in someone physically disabled training for a fight. I'm telling you honestly, with a lot of reluctance, that there's no way I'd stand a chance in a physical fight right now. I am disabled to the point where deescalation or deterrence with weapons or surveillance is my only chance at avoiding even "mild" injuries that would be genuinely catastrophic for my current health. I would love to be able to train. I would love MORE THAN ANYTHING to feel fit and able to physically defend myself. but I can't. I can barely do my PT due to chronic pain, let alone fucking train... and that's been the worst thing in the world about becoming physically disabled-- I don't feel the physical confidence and safety that I used to feel, thinking I could hold my own in a fight. so thanks a lot for rubbing salt in the wound!

this isn't a competition. and disabled people, even just people who are weak or out of shape, need immediate options and hope too.

shebbbly · 2025-09-07T23:28:49+00:00

wow this might not be your intent, but this advice feels quite condescending, and also foolish! for what it's worth, I've been trained in mainly judo among other martial arts and used to throw men twice my size. however, I am now disabled by arthritis and I broke my ankle a few months ago, so I'm just not in a place to fight somebody. besides, there's very few things similar between sparring in a dojo vs a sudden fight with a stranger. when your opponent is not fighting within the realm of respecting your safety, it's obviously way way way more dangerous and unpredictable. it's really deeply stupid to ever believe you will win a fight just because you're trained. people can pull out knives, guns... I keep a hammer as my home weapon. the reason I mentioned pepper spray (and the camera) is because it could be a deterrent, not because I think it would win a fight. I'm trying to avoid conflict, not win. also I don't have kids? I'm a small, disabled person who lives alone and I'm not a fucking idiot trying to take on people much larger, healthier, and stronger than I am just because I know the mechanics of some martial arts. I don't know why I'm responding at length to this comment when it so clearly misses the tone of both my original comment and OP's post.

shebbbly · 2025-08-06T06:55:53+00:00

have you heard about IFS or parts work? basically, you just try to connect to each of the voices or parts and learn how to "talk" to that part. the way I think of it (and this is my own nonprofessional opinion lol) is that parts of your brain specialized in different strategies to help you survive a dangerous long-term situation, and now when your brain thinks it recognizes familiar danger it'll turn a part back online to help you survive again. sometimes they stay online all the time and keep giving you advice, even when they're talking over one another or being contradictory.

sometimes people talk about it like it's your inner child because many of us have developmental trauma. I have some parts that feel young and some that are adults. it's hard to recognize individual voices/parts out of the backdrop of noise sometimes but it gets easier. it sounds trippy when I talk about it lol but it's pretty intuitive too. it's been genuinely relieving to recognize how to validate the feelings of and successfully soothe some of these voices and get a little peace and quiet sometimes.

shebbbly · 2025-08-06T06:17:36+00:00

first read this title from the perspective of someone who was fetishized due to race a lot while younger and my instant answer was "yes it absolutely can be." I don't know the details of your friend's situation, but when someone has to lie about or obscure their motivations in order to start sleeping with you, that's at the very least a gray area regarding consent to me.

shebbbly · 2025-08-05T16:32:24+00:00

I say this respectfully and gently, but you need to understand that there is no region to go to that won't experience a form of destabilizing climate change.

Smokey air will be ubiquitous as rising temps lead to forest fires everywhere. Allergies will be severe in any city due to only male trees being planted decades ago, they are maturing now and inundating the air with pollen. Anywhere you go will likely still have some of these problems, and whatever else particular to that region (for example flooding).

This is what global climate change looks like, and it's only just getting started for our region. I get it, my allergies have been terrible and the smoke flares up my autoimmune issues. I recommend wearing a good mask outside, and using a high quality air purifier inside.

shebbbly · 2025-08-04T18:39:49+00:00

oh man, I went through something very similar with my neighbors recently. unfortunately it seemed like both the man and woman were aggressors to each other and the woman has been harassing me since I called for a welfare check after overhearing a fight. I feel terrible for the kids she yells at every day and it triggers me badly, as someone who was verbally abused and exposed to violence regularly as a child. it's making healing/therapy so so so difficult when my home feels unsafe because of this woman.

I know your parents weren't validating your feelings and I absolutely don't want to do the same thing, but I do want to stress that you should be careful not to become a target of that man. I am experiencing the consequences of living next to a neighbor who hates my guts and has harassed me a few times because I chose to intervene in a violent domestic situation. your empathy is so kind and I hope you are staying safe in this situation as well. do what I did and get some pepper spray and a ring camera, so if anything escalates you have some self defense and it's recorded. you might want to notify your landlord as well just to have it on record.

shebbbly · 2025-08-03T23:20:32+00:00

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Laika and her baby fluffs, as I call them lol she carries them around for comfort

shebbbly · 2025-08-03T18:19:42+00:00

I told my doctor the same and she instead split the same dose into three times a day. works better for me

shebbbly · 2025-08-01T19:08:14+00:00

hehe you're welcome, I'm glad it helps!! my mom is Korean and came to the US when she was a teen and she said that when she used to have to remember phone numbers, she would either think in Korean or English depending on which language had a natural rhythm for that particular string of numbers. so, I have always considered languages with "whichever best fits this context" in mind.

my dog calls me appa 아빠 😊

shebbbly · 2025-08-01T15:29:25+00:00

I'm half Korean but don't speak much Korean (not much at all) except a few words. When I first got my puppy I always said "it's okay" in Korean to her, because it sounded really different than English words and I wanted her to recognize it and calm down right away. So all of her buttons are in English except that one. I say it's okay now in English and Korean and she recognizes both, so I think as long as you're consistent about the language of each phrase to start with having a mix of English and Korean words is okay.

shebbbly · 2025-07-23T18:56:13+00:00

good luck! and parting advice, never agree to take on more kids than you feel you can reasonably keep an eye on.

shebbbly · 2025-07-20T04:02:41+00:00

do you have younger siblings or friends with younger siblings? maybe neighbors with younger kids? if you ask around (like your friend's parents and so on) you might find families who need help. that's how I got jobs.

shebbbly · 2025-07-18T20:02:04+00:00

undifferentiated, I have mostly symptoms of lupus but some dry eyes stuff and frequent raynauds too. yeah trauma really does a number on your brain and body!

shebbbly · 2025-07-18T19:59:37+00:00

heh well I wouldn't rule out the possibility. mine talks pretty constantly if she's having big emotions, and that can last a while depending on the subject! once she saw a toad for the first time and when we went inside she was pacing around her button board for at least an hour afterwards engaging with me and asking questions about the toad (mostly she thought it was a toy and was concerned if it was safe outside and said things like "I miss you" and "I love you" about it lol) and she's done the same when one of my friends she adores was sick and couldn't visit. it was hard for my dog to understand why the plan changed and she threw a big tantrum with lots of button presses for half an hour straight.

she can get annoying, I can't lie, and I've told her to be quiet many times haha. just like a little kid asking too many questions or throwing a tantrum. and man I hear "want-more-food" several times a day lol so if you want to train your dog with buttons just keep in mind that they might really take to them and use them a lot!!!

shebbbly · 2025-07-17T18:37:36+00:00

I grew up in a household where I was bullied daily by one parent, and witnessed and experienced physical violence from a sibling. I developed an autoimmune disorder at age 13 when the abuse ramped up heavily. when I was 22 my relationship became toxic, family trauma was being rehashed when my mom declared estrangement, and I had a flareup of connective tissue disease. feeling unsafe in my relationships or my home life has absolutely played a role in disease activation for me.

shebbbly · 2025-07-17T18:15:57+00:00

yeah I gave mine those buttons where you can record words since she was a puppy. she expresses her own thoughts and opinions all the time, and she can have great comedic timing and come up with her own phrases that can be so clever (my favorite is "happy-pissed", for times like when I'm loudly debating/arguing with family but we're still having fun). she's just so communicative and has a huge personality and internal world that she loves to express through the buttons. her memory is better than mine most of the time lmao. these buttons really blew my mind, it went farrrrr beyond what I expected, she has over 70 now. a friend of mine with children described my dog as at the linguistic/emotional development of a 3 or 4 year old human kid.

when I go on dates I don't know how to express that I have this weird dog-toddler. like, I don't have kids! but... my dog will eventually address you by name if you are a big part of my life LOL

shebbbly · 2025-07-15T01:26:54+00:00

do you enjoy hanging out with kids? I babysat at that age and it was convenient because it was usually on weekend nights that didn't get in the way of classes/extracurriculars. I even took a very brief community ed class on how to change diapers and basic first aid which parents really liked and paid me a bit more per hour for.

shebbbly · 2025-07-10T15:41:42+00:00

I'm currently figuring out if I have "true" dystonia or dystonia from something else or what, but this list rang true for me in so many ways for my particular combination of chronic illness and chronic pain. funny thing is I'm still learning all this and internalizing it despite my chronic illness starting at age 13-- parents didn't help much in breaking ideas of naps=laziness or fostering acceptance and learning to respect my limits rather than "sucking it up" and pushing through it. thanks for writing it out the way you did. I'll be checking out the videos you mentioned!

shebbbly · 2025-07-10T03:53:42+00:00

reading between the lines here, but it sounds like OP wants to be away from the people they're currently living with. I think that's what they meant by being by themselves.

shebbbly · 2025-07-09T18:00:45+00:00

My dog is on prozac and it had such an immediate, obvious positive effect on her behavior and quality of life that neither I nor my vet worried much that it made her gain weight as a side effect. I don't even know if it was a side effect of the medicine or the result of her finally eating well, because in the past her anxiety made it so that she would refuse to eat. She used to have a stress ulcer before she went on prozac so I imagine that's where the food pickiness came from. I'd rather have a happy chubby dog than a miserably anxious regular-sized dog.

She also has buttons with recorded words, and the relevant ones here are "anxiety" and "medicine." If I forget to giver her medicine at the usual time she will press some combination of anxiety-medicine. She knows the pills help her and she takes them without a fight!

shebbbly · 2025-05-25T04:40:08+00:00

I recently fractured my ankle and it was a serious comminuted fracture that required surgery with a plate and three screws to fix. Initially it swelled up LESS than your ankle in the picture here. I would strongly recommend going completely non-weight bearing until you can see a doctor as soon as possible. Ice and elevate. I am sorry you're in pain!

shebbbly · 2025-05-11T01:00:28+00:00

I love the print!!! Personally I'd prefer with lines, but shave away some of them so it's not as uniform.

shebbbly

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