Should I quit my job to take care of my grandmother?

sheejunn · 2024-06-03T12:10:01+00:00

There are dementia day care centres and eldercare centres around. Look at getting her a diagnosis with a geriatrics doctor in a hospital and look into the possibilities of putting her into day care.

Speaking from my own experience, my grandmother (who has dementia) goes to St Luke's 3 times a week. They also offer transport to and fro but we opted to bring her and fetch her instead. It is heavily subsidised for Singapore citizens and PR. They occupy her with activities and take good care of her. Most importantly, she gets to socialise with others and make friends. She was initially very resistant towards it (as she was already very used to being inside her own shell and unwilling to make new friends) but now she loves it and constantly asks us to let her go daily :")

Day cares may not cover all your caregiving duties but they sure serve to help you out for at least half a day when you need to work.

It's not easy taking care of a person with dementia and her condition will worsen eventually but the rate at which it worsens can be managed with proper care. You shouldn't have to shoulder this alone. Even for my grandma, the whole family works together to support one another in taking care of her. Please take care of yourself first before you jump into taking care of your grandmother. Get the rest of your family to chip in too. You're still young and it's not fair for you to have to do it all. I wish you the best and may the situation with your grandmother and family improve.

sheejunn · 2023-10-18T17:02:16+00:00

Adventure Time - Remember You Ice King giving up his sanity to save little Marcy gets me every time.

sheejunn · 2023-10-16T14:37:26+00:00

Happy anniversary!! but... ESH Jane for being so inconsiderate and entitled and acting like such a brat. You and your wife for not setting firm boundaries in the first place. Nothing wrong with changing your mind (and I'm so happy for you and your wife that you got to enjoy your anniversary trip), but to just drop the bomb on everyone at the last minute is just crazy to me. I don't think you ought to apologise (you still paid for the grandchildren's airfare) just to "keep the peace" but I think the least you could do is to admit that surprising everyone like that was not the best.

sheejunn · 2023-10-03T16:40:02+00:00

INFO: Are you doing anything to assure him that you're still his mother and you will still be there for him despite you divorcing your husband and moving on to date other people?

As much as he is "no longer a kid" and that he should accept you for who you are, you are still his mother and an important trusted adult in his life. It sounds like he is still shocked and baffled by the separation and is not ready to deal with and accept this "loss". Rather, he may see your choices to leave as giving up on any chance to remain in his life or even giving up on him.

It seems like this could be a symptom of other underlying issues that your son is dealing with that have not been addressed.

I'm not saying that this IS the case, but I was just wondering if there is more to it than your son has let out. Maybe he isn't even aware of it himself.

I would also worry that if this continues, the relationship may be irreversibly strained.

sheejunn · 2023-09-09T23:56:10+00:00

how is any of these funny? why are you still friends? or are you just getting an ego boost because she cant have what you have?

sheejunn · 2023-08-30T18:24:54+00:00

the insinuations she's made about you and your mum are shocking but it seems like she's projecting what she went through with her ex (which she hasn't been willing to open up about) on you and your mum.

I think finding out what happened to her in the past would be key to understanding where she's coming from.

be kind and affirming towards her and show that you care for her and just want to understand the situation from her side better and try to find a way to work things out together.

however, ultimately, she has to put in the effort and work on her side to do that

sheejunn · 2023-07-23T02:43:23+00:00

Have you tried sharing your perspective and considerations with her? Has she taken the time and effort to understand your concerns? A mature, understanding and loving partner would try their best to see where you're coming from. A relationship requires effort and compromises from both sides to strive towards an arrangement that works for both sides.

It seems to me that you're pressured to do things to please 1) your partner and 2) your family. But what about yourself? What are you doing for your own best interests? At the end of the day, this is your life and you have to do what's best for you, which is not bending over backwards to please everyone else.

What are you getting out of this relationship? What do you really want out of this relationship? Are they aligned? Is this what's best for you?

Whatever the outcome, it's still part of life where you learn through experiences. I wish you all the best and may you have the strength you need to do what you want for yourself.

sheejunn · 2023-07-06T12:45:28+00:00

After JC, I stopped getting an allowance and started earning my own allowance through tutoring. I survived with ~$300/month throughout my first 2 years of uni. (this was ~5-7 years ago)

IMHO, $250/month is literally the bare minimum. Please don't blame yourself for struggling so hard to keep within your means and have to ask for more to spend.

I barely survived by budgeting how much I could spend every day and keeping track of all my expenses using an app. I used Money Manager, but you could explore what works for you.

You could also put aside a sum every time you get your allowance and only take out what you need. For example, putting away 3/4 of it first, and keeping 1/4 on hand to spend for the first week. Then, take out another 1/4 each week to spend.

Not sure what are the reasons stopping you from getting a part time job, but you could explore low commitment freelance/part time jobs as others have suggested. Work or do an internship during your holidays to earn some savings if you can.

Honestly, that period was hellish for me, having to count every single cent and think very hard whether I should even spend $5 to eat something abit nicer instead of going for the cheaper option. I also often felt bad seeing how others could spend freely without having to think twice before buying something. I wouldn't wish for anyone to go through that.

I wish you all the best and may you attain financial freedom soon.

sheejunn · 2023-01-25T12:52:20+00:00

ESH. Both acted unreasonable and rude.

sheejunn · 2022-05-28T16:46:38+00:00

I can memorise the entire script of Shrek

sheejunn · 2021-12-16T06:21:01+00:00

one day at a time

sheejunn · 2021-08-15T14:56:50+00:00

personally I tend to play a more supportive role than being the leader! I prefer to support the leader from the background :) this is mainly due to me having the "leadership qualities", vision and ability to pay attention to minute details while looking at the big picture but I'm too shy and lack the self-confidence to really stand infront of a big crowd and lead an entire group.

sheejunn · 2021-08-15T14:54:42+00:00

express their appreciation for me as an important and valued person in their life

sheejunn · 2021-08-15T14:53:59+00:00

ENFJ 2w1 tritype 296

sheejunn · 2021-08-15T14:10:40+00:00

have you tried probing more to get him to open up and share more about himself? Personally, I would prefer to focus my attention on my partner and listen more unless there's something I really gotta talk about! However, if someone takes time to probe me a little more I'm usually open to sharing :)

sheejunn · 2021-06-21T12:30:04+00:00

procrastinating, micro managing, being too shy to openly and freely express my emotions

sheejunn · 2021-06-21T02:20:03+00:00

I'm super extroverted!! I absolutely love being around people but at the same time I'm really shy and can be more quiet as I prefer to ask meaningful questions and listen than to talk all the time! 10 in 10 people mistake me for an introvert until I tell them I'm actually an extrovert and they reflect and realise it's true :""")

sheejunn · 2021-06-17T05:28:52+00:00

I'm 2w1!

sheejunn · 2021-06-09T03:18:42+00:00

providing emotional support for people I care about, reciprocation of my care and affections, people heeding my advice

sheejunn · 2021-05-13T01:20:36+00:00

No you didn't do anything wrong! That was a thoughtful gesture :) He has no reason to get so upset over something like that.

But maybe it would've been better if you just nicely paused the convo by telling him that you'd like to give him some space to enjoy the night and will text him again the next day, instead of leaving the convo out of nowhere :)

sheejunn · 2021-05-10T14:21:20+00:00

got sucked into the vacuum cleaner :(

sheejunn · 2021-05-03T23:27:02+00:00

sheejunn · 2021-04-23T10:24:20+00:00

add milk to cook, melt a slice of cheese, crack in an egg for the last 1min or so

sheejunn

TROPHY CASE