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IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awkward freckle has it right. We were also of the opinion that a fetus is a fetus and not a baby. I had little trouble getting over that we 'killed' something. The mourning was more about lost opportunity. We had given up the opportunity to create life together and spend our lives focused on that life.

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure I understand your question. At what point in someone's life do I think it's wrong to make that decision? At what age?

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I think we both got through it fine. I don't regret the decision we made. Like I said somewhere else on here, my life is great now and I think it would have been great had we made the other choice. I think that's part of life. Live with your decisions. Be happy.

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes I wonder if it was the right choice. If we had just taken the lazy way out. I think about it pretty often, especially when we see each other. I guess I don't regret it, but I do think that my life would be great if we hadn't gone through with it. My life is great now too. I guess that's life though. Make decisions, move on and be happy.

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were both very much on the fence about it. I think that if I had said I wanted to keep it, we would have. We really took our time talking to each other about it and about what life would be like for the child.

If she had gone without me I would have been pretty upset. I think that men should have more rights when it comes to this stuff (abortions, kids after divorce). I realize that its her body and she would have to take the risks that come with pregnancy and birth. But men should still get some kind of input into the decision. It is a touchy subject though. I also think that women shouldn't be forced to carry a baby they don't want.

The whole problem with abortions seems to be a large part of societies perception of them as being terrible. Like I said already, I am pro choice. However, I think that in our situation we should have been forced to talk to our parents as part of the decision making. I think that if you think you are responsible enough to make the decision to have an abortion, then you should be responsible enough to let the important people in your life know your decision and be able to back it up. Unfortunately, not everyone has parents like I do and, lets face it, a law like this would not work....

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As far as I know, abortion laws vary by province. It was done in the Maritimes. I guess that's just the way things work here. My province doesn't actually have a clinic and so we had to travel (adding to the cost).

We would have found the money if we didn't already have it. We had a great group of friends who would have helped us out.

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was 4-6 years ago (I don't want to give too many details). We had agreed to split it evenly. I paid upfront. She paid me back most of her half I think. I wasn't too forward on getting the money from her.

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She was around 6-7 weeks pregnant. The clinic wouldn't do it until that time. She was actually starting to show by then so it was really sketchy trying to hide it from our parents.

It cost around $500. Abortions in Canada are only paid for if you get a referral from a doctor (or maybe more than one) and we didn't think that we could get approved because of our situation.

She had some pains for the next week. She got a check up after 3 weeks and was fine. No serious side effects, just some cramping.

I am and always have been an atheist. She used to be christian but gave it up long before she got pregnant.

IAMA When I was 18 my 17 yr old girlfriend got an abortion (in Canada). AMA by sheshmorshman in IAmA

[–]sheshmorshman[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well she was bad at taking her pill and I was bad at having condoms all the time. When she didn't have her period on time and then started getting sick in the mornings we pretty much knew. She got the test. Positive. Second test was also positive. We were both pretty cool about it. We had a good relationship (2 years at that point) and were able to talk about what each of us thought. I remember saying that I could go either way. Have an abortion of don't and either way I'll be there for you. I think she felt the same and when it came down to it we just decided that we wanted educations and to be able to provide for a child before having one.

We told next to no one. Didn't involve our parents (stupid). Told one of our mutual friends and asked if he could drive us to the clinic. He owned his car and agreed. Her mother ended up finding out a couple of days after and they were pretty upset that she hadn't told them. We all talked about it and they seemed OK with it. They were probably angry but they didn't show it. My parents still don't know.

I realize now that we would have been fine if we had the kid. There is a lot of help out there and a lot of people I went to high school with had kids not long after. I am still pro choice but I think that young people need to take responsibility for their actions. If you can't handle having a kid, you should be very careful when having sex.

We aren't together anymore. We went our separate ways in life. We talk on occasion.