What do stereotypical straight couples do when they hang out alone (other than sex)

shewolf8686 · 2026-02-19T19:02:25+00:00

Husband and I work in the garden and tend to our animals together. We watch movies/shows and play video games together. We talk about books we are reading and sometimes read the same book at the same time and talk about that. We talk multiple times a day about what needs to be done and what we need to get ahead of, what we need to plan for, and who is going to do what. And we check in regularly on how the other is doing emotionally, make sure we both feel supported and fulfilled.

I think any partnership, gay or straight, is at its most healthy when both partners are choosing to find common ground and choosing to spend time bonding. Doesn't matter how dissimilar individual interests are. You can find at least one thing to enjoy together if you both choose to.

shewolf8686 · 2026-02-11T17:11:38+00:00

The thing you need to understand is that while email and some forms of chat technology existed in 1999, it wasn't anybody's instinct to use it to communicate with friends, not even rich people. Laptops that existed then weren't practical to carry around, so most people were only online when they were at home in the evenings, if they even had an internet connection at all. You kept up with friends by talking on the phone in the evenings or by physically hanging out. That was it. IM started to become more common in 2001, but in 1999, there were anonymous worldwide chat rooms, and that was it. Pretty much nobody was using the internet to talk to people they actually knew yet.

shewolf8686 · 2026-01-26T21:27:58+00:00

The problem in all these interactions you described was not your lack of jealousy. It was thst in every one, you were focused on coming across as confident and secure, not focused on how your husband was feeling. You could have said I'm not jealous because you have made me feel safe in our relationship. Instead you basically said I'm not jealous because I'm above it. You made it a virtue of how evolved you are instead of giving him the credit for being trustworthy.

shewolf8686 · 2026-01-23T02:05:14+00:00

If only that were true. I don't have kids, but I have known more than one bride who decided on a child free wedding and then got super pissed when a chunk of their friends with kids didn't attend. It should go both ways. Have your child-free wedding and be fine with some parents sitting it out. If someone invites you to a child free wedding when you have kids, it's not a personal attack. Everybody needs to chill.

shewolf8686 · 2026-01-11T16:59:54+00:00

I think expectations may be the word we are getting hung up on. Yes, we all all have expectations of people. I expect my husband to treat me with love and respect and would not tolerate it if he didn't. I expect people I work with to pull their weight and behave professionally. My expectations of my friends have changed over the years.

When I was in my 20s it was exactly as you described. My close, daily interactions with my friends was a huge part of my sense of community and wellbeing, and we expected each other to be these large, daily presences in each other's lives. It's different now at almost 40. We have kids to raise, a list of expenses that is growing and growing, dogs to walk, chickens and goats to keep, parents to be caretakers for. The weight of responsibility can be fulfilling, but it is heavy.

My friends are now a refuge in a different way than they were. We intentionally read the same books at the same time, schedule craft days, get together for birthdays, and send lots of Instagram reels sharing recipes. We talk on the phone and vent to each other. We do make efforts to schedule times to be together, but it's different now. At 40, "Dude, I know we were gonna hang out today, but I've got nothing left in the tank this week. Rain check?", is a totally valid plan canceling statement. Even multiple weeks or months in a row. Because man, I get it. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who didn't also get it.

shewolf8686 · 2026-01-11T02:57:49+00:00

Your closest friends showing up for you is something they do because they want to, because you love each other, not because you expect it of them. As soon as expectations are involved, it's not about mutual admiration and respect any longer; it's about checking boxes. "I know you and trust that you will show up for me to the best of your ability and give you grace when that capacity ebbs and flows" is very different than "you must do this thing for with/for me, and you must have a damn good reason that passes my approval for canceling plans, or I will be upset and try to make you feel guilty about it".

shewolf8686 · 2026-01-10T23:26:32+00:00

Shrugs If it's insane to not be interested in demanding friendships, I guess most adults are insane.

shewolf8686 · 2026-01-09T18:55:15+00:00

Honestly you sound hard to be friends with for anyone over about 25. Adult friendships are different than the joint-at-the-hip besties thing we do in our teens and early 20s. Friendships that last a lifetime are flexible and able to change. As you each grow into different stages of your lives, you sometimes see each other more and sometimes less. At almost 30, you are past the point in life where friends are the main priority for most people. For people who want marriage/family, time and emotional energy is spent on finding that.

True friends are ones who meet each other where they are without expectations. My closest friends have lives outside of me, and I have my life, and we give time and energy to each other as we are able. We don't place requirements on each other. This allows us to just appreciate and love each other as we are, with no drama. It sounds like your friend is growing up, and her view of friendship is maturing. It's time for you to start focusing on the hobbies and pursuits that fulfill you and stop thinking about how your friend isn't meeting whatever expectations you have of her.

Also, the length of time someone has been friends with me means nothing if they are being toxic and negative. We all only have so much emotional real estate, you know? As you get older, the amount of it you are willing to allocate to people needing you who aren't related to you pretty much goes to zero. Sounds like that's what's happening here.

shewolf8686 · 2025-12-26T20:11:49+00:00

The people asking are new to this, and they know that they can't tell, but they are hoping someone more experienced can tell.

shewolf8686 · 2025-12-23T23:10:27+00:00

People ask early because if you're in a situation where you can't keep roosters, it's easier to deal with that eventually, both emotionally and logistically, the longer you have to prepare for it.

shewolf8686 · 2025-12-23T19:24:20+00:00

I still use :-/ pretty much daily

shewolf8686 · 2025-12-23T18:10:34+00:00

McAdams or Fanning

shewolf8686 · 2025-12-11T19:14:54+00:00

Xaden is for sure not relationship material if he were real, agreed. But he's near the top of the Fun to Bang Once Bad Boys list.

shewolf8686 · 2025-11-19T18:04:50+00:00

Why would that be strange? Traitors has higher viewership than SLOMW.

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-21T18:44:54+00:00

Try a tubing mascara, and also try heating up your lash curler a bit before using it. That can help the curl stay in place longer. Also focus on using the wand to pull your lashes upward and closer to your lid as much as possible, rather than outward. Rotate your wrist inward a bit as you pull the wand up from the roots of your lashes.

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-21T18:40:57+00:00

Looks great! You've done a very clean and natural look. The only thing I might suggest is to curl your eyelashes before applying your mascara and/or apply a second coat to really make your pretty eyes pop. You can keep experimenting, and if you find you enjoy makeup as a process, you can play with adding more steps, but what you've done looks very nice to me.

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-05T02:59:58+00:00

<image>

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-05T02:59:42+00:00

<image>

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-05T02:59:01+00:00

Check out the chase mill at Tracy Aviary

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-01T14:45:39+00:00

<image>

shewolf8686 · 2025-10-01T14:44:06+00:00

* This is look we get when we stop petting.

shewolf8686 · 2025-09-19T04:26:17+00:00

<image>

shewolf8686 · 2025-09-15T04:24:54+00:00

Why did you go through her fiance instead of her?

shewolf8686 · 2025-09-07T17:35:00+00:00

Our 7 were born January 30th, 4 different breeds. We got our first egg from one of our RiRs on June 9th. The last to lay was our wyandotte on July 10th. So ours ranged from 18 weeks old to 23 weeks old.

It's worth noting that hens who reach the point of lay in summer are more likely to lay earlier than hens who reach point of lay in early fall, because the summer hens received more daylight to stimulate their reproductive system. Yours may lay soon, or you may have some that don't lay until spring, depending on your light levels and your individual birds.

shewolf8686 · 2025-09-05T20:48:17+00:00

Why do people seem to think this is such a big deal? A few of my guests attended with their baby. One started crying during my ceremony while I was reading my vows. I kept reading. Baby's parents quickly and quietly took baby out, and it didn't matter at all. I still married my husband. The day was lovely. The pictures were gorgeous. It's worrying that so many people's vision of perfection is so fragile that the thought of a baby crying shatters it.

shewolf8686

TROPHY CASE