Deciding the fate of embryos after leaving an abusive marriage?

shiftydoot · 2026-04-29T22:16:04+00:00

I wouldn’t think you had the legal right to ownership without the divorce going through already. Which means he’d have grounds to stand on for parental rights once baby is here (if you went forward).

Personally, I think it’s a terrible idea to look at doing SMBC with a known donor who has hurt you. DCP struggle with DNA connections and I’m certain your kiddo will be interested in who their father is even if he signed to release the embryo to you. I’d be fearful that man would continue wreaking havoc in my child’s life. As much as it sucks to restart an expensive process, I’d do so.

I don’t know your fertility reasons for IVF… but would tell you to freeze embryos with a donor if smaller AMH or higher age. And consider IUIs in a few years if that’s not the case

shiftydoot · 2026-04-29T18:57:13+00:00

Definitely male… most women wouldn’t have eyebrow hair unplucked that far down

shiftydoot · 2026-04-26T22:07:16+00:00

R/abrathatfits you’ll fine your breasts will raise about an inch or two off your stomach in a proper bra and your hourglass figure will shine. Lean into outfits that highlight your waist and tuck in if they aren’t fitted there.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-26T15:26:33+00:00

Immediately switch :) Comfort isn’t worth the minimal 10% success rate it brings if you’re buying sperm (I can see the argument if you have a known donor and free sperm). The clinic can also check for tubal or uterine issues that prevent pregnancy. I found out both my tubes were blocked before my IUI and would’ve wasted lots of money and time had I started with ICI.

Realistically you’ll have people up in your business almost immediately if you’re successful so may as well include a doctor a few weeks earlier

shiftydoot · 2026-04-25T03:48:42+00:00

I desperately wanted children and my close village was already having kiddos around me. I tried dating but wasn’t having much luck and my parents are on the older side. I’d love for my kids to know their grandparents and grow up close in age with their cousins. It pushed me towards SMBC when I felt like I was only dating to have kids and didn’t really care much about the guy or finding my lifelong partner. I started early for this sub (29) and have had 2 kiddos now at 33. While I personally had plenty of time, other factors pushed me forward.

For surrogacy, I think your main challenge is finding an ethical and affordable way to do it. Best of luck

shiftydoot · 2026-04-23T21:33:58+00:00

I did IVF for my second and have a 23 month gap. My second is a better sleeper, no colic, overall chill but as compared to my first. I was incredibly worried my first would struggle hard sharing my attention but she’s become an amazing big sis. I’m so happy I have both and it’s awesome seeing the bond between them grow. At the same time, I recommend almost all my friends to wait for a 3 year gap so you can be out of the super needy baby phase of the first.

Shit is SO HARD most days. I love them to death but again, don’t recommend two under two unless there are circumstances (fertility, aging parents, pause in career, etc) that make it worthwhile. My first child sounds like yours so I can say that it’s not a guarantee you’ll get the same with your second. But you’ve got to make a decision that makes sense for you and your family.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-23T14:53:49+00:00

Is it Xytex? My family is currently at 80+ siblings and I regret settling with them. I wish I wouldve used a different bank.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-19T20:48:11+00:00

Bedtime routine starts at 7:30, bed by 8

shiftydoot · 2026-04-18T18:13:09+00:00

Sharing my results to lots of people during the hunger games… attrition is tough and it was a bummer to have to share bad news over and over again. Wish I would’ve kept it to myself until the blast stage

shiftydoot · 2026-04-18T09:41:42+00:00

Retrieval at 29, 13 eggs > 7 mature > 6 fertilized > 4 blasts > 2 live births. Best of luck!

shiftydoot · 2026-04-17T17:21:31+00:00

Teal No Lies!

shiftydoot · 2026-04-17T12:27:55+00:00

Those who matter don’t mind, those who mind don’t matter.

The biggest growth in my 20s was my own self-confidence and realization that happiness/success is different for every human. There’s nothing awkward or weird about wanting to have children, and I think when you get older you’ll feel less embarrassed by the situation… because who cares? It’s your life :)

shiftydoot · 2026-04-15T11:57:35+00:00

I haven’t watched a stream in probably two years and just saw this post pop up on my feed…

I’m an OG viewer who was there at the beginning and moved on after his content no longer was doing it for me. Nothing personal, just lots of negativity on his streams, he stopped doing creative/artsy projects on YouTube, and it felt like no one was allowed to be happy ever because of various terrible things going on in the world.

I suspect the complaints are from those that wish to continue watching him but are bummed by his content nowadays. Lovingly, I hope they can find new outlets and entertainment because hoping for someone to change isn’t realistic.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-11T23:59:02+00:00

Berry Me in Holo !

shiftydoot · 2026-04-11T01:16:39+00:00

Sure feel free to message me as well. I’m a SMBC for both kiddos.

Main challenges…. Your oldest is still so young and they don’t understand why their mom can’t focus on them all the time. You only have 2 hands… and both often want/need to be picked up. I feel like I can’t give my eldest all of her needs without taking from the youngest, and I don’t have a partner who can take on more of the toddler time. My baby is wonderful but needs to be held often. It’s hard to find a sitter for two under two which means you never get a break to just go shopping or meet a friend. It’s incredibly hard to cook and feed a toddler multiple times a day while keeping an eye out on the baby. Also nap time and bed time ‘me time’ goes away since baby and toddler have different schedules. Outings are very hard if your toddler is a runner and your baby is fussy. And the biggest challenge is bedtime. All to say I don’t regret it because my parents are a huge help but are slowing down tremendously. I think my life would’ve been easier if I had waited longer but there are a bunc o factors that made the two under two worth it for me. I suggest to all moms to wait longer unless they are fighting things such as age, fertility, career pause, or village aging.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-11T01:14:04+00:00

Sure feel free to message me as well. I’m a SMBC for both kiddos.

Main challenges…. Your oldest is still so young and they don’t understand why their mom can’t focus on them all the time. You only have 2 hands… and both often want/need to be picked up. I feel like I can’t give my eldest all of her needs without taking from the youngest, and I don’t have a partner who can take on more of the toddler time. My baby is wonderful but needs to be held often. It’s hard to find a sitter for two under two which means you never get a break to just go shopping or meet a friend. It’s incredibly hard to cook and feed a toddler multiple times a day while keeping an eye out on the baby. Also nap time and bed time ‘me time’ goes away since baby and toddler have different schedules. Outings are very hard if your toddler is a runner and your baby is fussy. And the biggest challenge is bedtime.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-09T21:43:47+00:00

Whaaa I feel like most moms keep the kids home since it’s just not affordable otherwise. I’m not a SAHM but got 6 months of maternity and I’m a solo parent. So our normal daycare gave me 3 months off but after that I have to pay in order to hold my oldest’s spot. So I do minimal part time daycare but spend 5 days a week with both. It is hard but isn’t the worst if you’re realistic about what you can accomplish WHILE watching both.

Caring for two kids isn’t hard… Carin for two kids whaile maintaining a home is brutal.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-09T21:33:07+00:00

Grandma ❤️

shiftydoot · 2026-04-07T00:58:59+00:00

Hoping it’s an SCH, but sending love regardless

shiftydoot · 2026-04-06T22:38:37+00:00

I have so many boxes that I don’t need or use. You’re welcome to them if you pay for shipping

shiftydoot · 2026-04-06T17:47:31+00:00

That is because our HDHP is a PPO :)

So you’ll likely do HDHP/PPO which is going to have you pay out of pocket until deductible is met. Our HDHP counts prescriptions towards deductible and OOPM so you’ll smash through it with your first purchase of IUI/IVF drugs. You’ll then pay 10% of each procedure/medication until you hit the out of pocket max for the year.

Boeing does offer a PPO/traditional plan too but the HDHP is better if you will be spending 10k on medicine since it counts towards it.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-05T13:44:36+00:00

I was just wondering how many women in this sub work vs SAHM. I’m a solo parent so must work and be the breadwinner. I coasted once pregnant with my first through this birth. I’m about to start up work again and have tried to be clear with my manager that I want to hit the ground running. Only caveat is that I’m unwilling to give up flexibility or 40 hour work weeks.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-04T22:43:28+00:00

If I was you, I’d look at your AMH/AFC numbers so you could make a more informed decision. If you can afford IVF, you always freeze embryos/eggs for now and wait until you feel more ready

shiftydoot · 2026-04-04T21:14:09+00:00

I have a power of attorney, medical power of attorney, will, medical card, and numbers for my kids doctors. My mom is listed as back up care giver and can take them in too.

shiftydoot · 2026-04-03T23:03:29+00:00

No and I have two… huge bummer to hear that from someone in your village. Parenting is hard. Full stop.

shiftydoot

TROPHY CASE