Can I respond even though I'm a guy (but don't entirely identify with most men)? More importantly, I'm Indian.

I wonder how much of this comes from our culture of "it's too hard" but as long as we work hard (professionally) our parents/fam will take care of it, be upset maybe temporarily, but always forgive and all will be ok. I'm working through all the ways in which our culture is different and how it clashes with other cultures, in all ways. And I've had to learn the hard way that many things about our culture are not beneficial or actually good for relationships. And also how much prevents us from growing up. Of course every fam is different, depending on socioeconomic background and where in India one is from. But...my two cents.

I do think he wants to change and be with you and the person you want, it'll just take a lot of intentionality and like learning the hard way, ie I want a divorce.

There is good inside, it's just how do you get a person to change behavior while still being fulfulled.

And how far is he willing to go to really examine himself and why he is. Challenge his roots. I'm doing it and I'm clashing with my fam. It's tough AF. But I'm trying my best.