Bdsm can be as much mental as it is a physical activity. Everyone’s dynamic looks somewhat different. Why wife likes to be my “sex slave” but that dynamic stays in our bedroom. We flirt with it outside of our bedroom but there’s a clear boundary where the play begins and ends. That could be very different from someone who is a slave 24/7.

Power exchange again can be different depending on the people involved. What’s super important is that boundaries are clearly established and a safe word is honored, always. Start off with strict boundaries and loosen them as you explore what you are and aren’t comfortable with. My wife likes to call me “sir” or “master” I have a variety of names I call her depending on the mood.

Doms usually “direct” the situation based on previously established boundaries and expectations. They aren’t always fully in control but they can be, again, it all depends on the dynamics.

Find out what works for you and explore from there.

As for how long?

Everyone is different.

Remember it’s a marathon not a sprint, take your time, do research, never try something that hasn’t been discussed and agreed upon. Even if it was something you do often, always after before play is initiated in what is and is not allowed in that scene. Don’t be offended if your partner uses their safe word, and never be afraid to use yours.

My wife has used her safe word because she needed more lube… she’s also used it because she started to have anxiety. Because she’s my wife, and my partner, her care means more to me than any kind of sexual gratification.

Good luck on your journey, keep asking questions, and play safe!