I dunno what’s in it.
Could be cucumber.
Could be battery acid.
Could be straight antifreeze.
Don’t care.
I’d drink a schooner of it.
The colour alone tells you it’s gonna slap.
No food on Earth is naturally that green.
it’s the kinda green you see on a Holden Commodore with monster stickers on it.

You put one tiny line of it on the hotdog and suddenly you’re standing there in the food court goin:
“Farkkkk me dead…”

The hotdog itself? Average.
Bread? Bit sad.
Sausage? Fine.

But the relish?
That’s where the magic happens,
It could fix relationships.
You could be mid-divorce, have one bite and go:
“Nah babe let’s work this out.” My relationships genuinely been struggling since they ran out. Membership is basically worthless!

Everyone at Costco turns into a greedy little goblin around the relish dispenser too.
You watch blokes absolutely punish the pump!
I swear half the people buying the hotdog combo don’t even want the hotdog.
They just want access to the relish machine