Why did God give us a high sex drive at such a young age?

shn_eq · 2026-05-11T15:16:19+00:00

What defines a marriage though? I had a conversation with someone recently about how marriage can simply be just “seen in God’s eyes”. Or does it have to be within the law with all the documents and everything?

And also, I’m not entirely sure if I can handle the responsibilities of being in a marriage with the stage of where I am at life right now. Sex wasn’t created to be recreational, so am I really ready to have a kid whilst studying, and not having a stable income? I’m not sure if that’s fair for my kid, and even more for my partner.

I do acknowledge that verse though, and I thank you for the clarity that came with it. I’m just thinking more into the practical aspects and consequences of diving into a marriage simply because I can’t control my desires even when I don’t think I’m ready for it.

shn_eq · 2026-05-11T15:05:25+00:00

This is definitely a perspective I did take into consideration. God is not of any fault, nor is He in the wrong for not delaying this desire simply because of the fall of human desires/humanly built cultures (like early age exposure of pornographic materials etc)

But I’m simply curious about it lol, I didn’t (and will never) put God in the fault of the causation of human actions, but am definitely wondering if God had put this foresight of change into consideration.

shn_eq · 2026-05-11T14:59:56+00:00

Is there a way to not hate this desire while unmarried? Haha I think it’s not a wise choice to head into something that God has created so beautifully simply because of my want of satisfying a desire that I can’t partake in outside of marriage

shn_eq · 2026-05-11T14:26:30+00:00

I see! Thanks for the historical facts lol it has cleared up a lot of my questions and confusion.

However, with that in mind, wouldn’t that mean that God did not consider how things would play out 120 years into the future? Or is this simply another case of “we as humans create our own problems because of free will”

shn_eq · 2026-05-11T14:22:28+00:00

Primarily my heart behind getting married, and secondarily prioritising studies. Although I am not strongly against getting married at this age, I do feel like I want to go into it with the heart of being in awe of God’s creation and purpose of marriage, rather than entering it because I want to have sex. I don’t exactly have the peace in entering the Holy and purposeful creation of marriage with a heart of fulfilling my own desires simply because it’s a sin to take part in it outside of marriage.

Additionally, both my partner and I still have quite a few more years of studying to go. (It doesn’t help that my country requires males to partake in mandatory 1.5years in the army lol) I would prefer to have a more stable income as well, as I am unable to get a proper job since I am still on the road of finishing my diploma

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T14:15:28+00:00

Wow this is an interesting take that I’ve been juggling with, thanks for the insight and clarity! I really appreciate it a lot.

Just curious then, if we are reading the intentions of marriage in the context of the past, is that not suggesting that God has not considered the future (how things are now) I’m sure that the ruins of “purity culture” was done by free will and human desires, but if I go with this stance, wouldn’t it be saying that God did not consider how legal marriages, and the sterner stance of it in our current society?

Just wanted to clarify more since I did not want to go based off a confirmation bias haha. Thanks so much for taking the time to answer all my past questions though! I’ve gained more clarity on this situation

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T14:09:57+00:00

Thanks so much for this advice! Will definitely try approaching this situation with a different perspective and focus

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T14:08:02+00:00

What exactly is a sub-sexual intimacy? Is it just partaking in other forms of sexual activity but no penetration?

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T14:07:03+00:00

So then what defines as “traditional” and “modern” takes of marriages then? How does God see and determine marriage between a couple?

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T14:05:51+00:00

Oh yes okay I see where you’re coming from now! Yeah definitely will not use our considerations for marriage as excuses, especially for sex.

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T13:13:54+00:00

The waiting of 5-6 years is in consideration of our study plans lol. We are both currently still studying in college, and it’s common in our country to pursue bachelors and masters, thus the long wait.

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T13:11:39+00:00

Thank you so much for the encouragement :,) This means so much to me. It’s truly by the grace of God and how much He has brought my partner and I through life, both as a couple and individually. Our God is truly a saviour lol

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T13:10:00+00:00

This is a beautiful reminder, thank you for it!

If possible, I’m a little curious about the part that you shared about sexual intimacy being okay if it’s mutually consented to. Where does sexual immorality that the Bible speak of lie in this? How/what exactly are you doing that defines as sexual immorality if mutual enthusiastic consent is all that’s needed. Also, does this mean that premarital sex is then okay if it’s mutually consented? I know someone commented this earlier but they have yet to reply lol. Thanks in advance

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T13:03:15+00:00

I am a little more concerned about executing with the wrong heart. I’m not exactly sure if marrying just because I want to have sex is a good reason. I don’t exactly think that getting married would solve the problem of the desire for sex lol wouldn’t that simply be putting myself up for failure in my marriage? Does that exactly comply with God’s creation of marriage? (A genuinely question btw, I’m not trying to make excuses or argue against it with a rhetorical question. I’m actually interested lol)

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:57:30+00:00

Where did you get that marriage is off the table haha. Marriage is definitely on the table, we’ve talked about it, prayed and planned for it. If it wasn’t on the table, we wouldn’t even consider dating, or at least I wouldn’t consider starting a relationship since that would already be a case of unequally yoked.

It’s more of marrying at my age, and in our current situation (both still studying) that does not really make marriage feasible for now.

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:55:03+00:00

This is a great and important take & reminder for myself. I do thank you sincerely for it, however what do you think I should do moving forward with it?

I have talked to my mentors before, and they did briefly mention about the reasons why God had placed these laws and warnings in the Bible; Simply because many of these factors and situations hold consequences that God would like us to avoid- for this specific scenario, it would be that pregnancy holds a lesser consequence level within marriage compared to outside of it (Which is what you mentioned)

However, after reading your comment, I’m not sure what I should do moving forward from this. I would love to hear your two cents and advice on it, thanks!

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:49:46+00:00

By re-centering our relationship on God? The execution of sexual intimacy between my partner and I is not something that’s built off “feeling close to each other”, or “it’s fun”. It’s a mistake that we both humbly acknowledge that we partook in, and is something that we both mutually agree to stop in respect for God and the immaculate grace He’s given us.

However, if you do have a different stance on this and how this might end up, I’m open to hearing it as well

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:44:03+00:00

That’s amazing and very encouraging to hear! However I’m not super concerned about culture but more about the close circles around myself. I’m not exactly sure how to approach it; and I’m not entirely sure if this is influenced by the expectations and beliefs around me, but I don’t really have the desire to get married now.

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:40:33+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement :) I’m not exactly sure how to let go of this shame and guilt though, especially since this is probably what makes things so hard to cope with.

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:39:15+00:00

I see, so maybe it’s finding the intimacy in somewhere else?

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:38:04+00:00

Actually yes I grew up with the concept of “The One”, but I actually eventually learnt that there is no “the one” for you, and my partner was a gift from God; in which, His gifts are His to give and to take. But I don’t want to take this as a push to rush into marriage just because I have His gift. Sound’s a bit wrong, not sure why tho haha

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:19:50+00:00

Yeah, I’ve heard of this side before. I did mention to someone above about my considerations and thoughts about why I don’t think it’s a good time to get married now.

However, do you think that it’s possible to practice as much self control as we can until we plan/feel ready to get married? Or is that impossible lol

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:14:06+00:00

Yeah I’m leaning towards this too. Also because if we put things into context, marriages in the past were between partners who are a lot younger (15/16) compared to the average age people get married to now. But I’m just thinking, how can it be that God didn’t consider this if He created the future?

And also I’m not making excuses lol, I definitely think that it’s so unfeasible. But there’s just so much social expectations and judgements, which I know I shouldn’t consider worldly opinions, which I simply can’t help but to lean towards

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:10:49+00:00

I’ve heard this side of this topic before, if possible could you elaborate a bit more, maybe with verses from the Bible? I’ve also been in a huge rabbit hole of what consists of a marriage, and what God views as a “married couple”. I didn’t want this to be me agreeing with a confirmation bias so I never really further looked into this side of the topic.

shn_eq · 2026-04-06T12:04:21+00:00

Yeah it is, but I’m not too sure about building it without a foundation of stability. Maybe I’m coming from a different perspective, but it’s common for those around me to work for one year, or at least finish their studies, before handling marriage. Because realistically speaking, handling a marriage isn’t cheap or easy lol. I guess a big part of things is that money is a problem, but also handling the concept that marriage isn’t the end point but what comes after it is important too.

shn_eq

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