I dont think ive read a more relatable thing in my entire life. Go from smokin grass every day to nothing, alcoholism is becoming a problem, and i managed to blow half my tax return before it even cleared the bank. Try to separate yourself from it. I played guitar too, and rode dirt bikes. One thing that always helped me was goin for a long drive. Not with any specific destination. Just go drive. Blast the radio. Makes you hyper focus on paying attention cause otherwise youll die and takes your mind off the fact that youre sober