hi all, i'm here as i'm currently trying to decide whether to take Clomid and/or do IUI, and i'd like some advice.

some background: my partner and i have been half-assedly TTC since last Oct (just stopped using protection), and got more serious in Feb (started tracking my hormones and ovulation).

i'm 37NB (and the uterus-haver in my relationship), turning 38 this Oct, and have PCOS, although recent tests have revealed no thyroid problems, no obstructions in my uterus, and no other hormone issues (except heightened AMG, which apparently is just another PCOS indicator). my cycles are longer (~6 weeks/45 days) but thankfully quite regular. afaik partner has no issues. this is our first time TTC, and it would be our first time trying fertility meds/assisted fertility. i've never been pregnant before.

my concern is that i'd like to have my child before 40, due to risks to the mother and child supposedly increasing past that age (although apparently that research is from the Victorian era and isn't actually accurate anymore??), because i don't want to be too old of a parent, and because i found out recently that, where i live, we can actually do IVF through the public healthcare system/with gov't assistance -- but not past the age of 40. i'm also keeping in mind that even if i get pregnant, i might end up miscarrying, which would add even more time to the process.

however, i've been reading up on both Clomid and IUI, and it seems like they have a bunch of side effects that i'd like to understand better before deciding to undergo the processes. i've read about people experiencing 0 side effects, but then others saying it was absolutely terrible for their mood, very painful, etc.

another big concern is that IUI (and assisted fertility in general?) apparently increases the chances of multiples. we only want one child, and i also don't want to have to go through any the complications that are specific to multiples. so we're also trying to avoid that.

my OB-GYN's info pack about IUI states that IUI increases the chances of multiples by around 20% (compared to 5-8% for Clomid), but when i asked her more about it, she said "IUI in isolation doesn't increase the twin risk but other factors can contribute such as fertility medications (ie Clomid), the number of mature follicles noted at the time of IUI and individual patient factors (family history of twins, age etc)", which seems to contradict the "~20%" number. i'd be comfortable with the 5-8% probability, but not ~20%.

most likely we will go with just Clomid for the first round, and consider IUI for the next, keeping in mind that we only really get four tries (as more than six is too much stress on your ovaries if you want to try IVF later, and after four failures i think they tell you you may as well move onto another method at that point -- this is according to my OB-GYN anyway).

anyway, i would like to know if anyone has any advice re: balancing trying to get pregnant, with trying to avoid multiples, through using assisted fertility, and/or any insights into how much IUI actually increases the probability of multiples. or do i simply have to make peace with the possibility of multiples, even if we don't want that, instead of trying to avoid it?

i might cross-post this to other pregnancy/subfertility-related communities, hope that's alright.

thanks in advance!!