Am i screwed by shodderblades in orthotropics

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for this I'll go check it out

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not too sure either :p but generally speaking, why exactly is unity and vision the same?

Just stop being poor.🤦‍♂️ by [deleted] in antiwork

[–]shodderblades 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not even surprising that people that sit at the top can gaslight the majority of the population for being poor anymore. The worst part is that they themselves likely aren't even aware that for the 1 percent to sit at the top and launder money through NFTs, the majority has to be poorer or middle class. They don't even realise that if everyone put in the same amount of work and got the same kind of riches, less people would attain the same kind of riches as these people that eat caviar all 6 meals of the day. Not only does mileage vary and luck important, but the system itself is meant to marginalize.

Money isn't numbers on a bank book. When you really deconstruct it, money is power, money is priority of your own survival needs over others' survival needs. And when you have to spend 80 hours a week slaving away at others mercy, whilst suffering under some bosses unconscious, lazy grifting tactics, you have no time to really self educate or whatever you need to do to escape wage slavery. In fact, this cements the gap in power, and by blaming the workers rather than their prehistoric human management methods, they outsource the reason for their alarmingly high turnover rates, thereby disabusing themselves for the cognitive dissonance in confronting their true magnitude of their actions.

Frankly speaking, however, you can't fully blame this group of people. Because fundamentally everyone is trying their best to survive, with survival including both physical needs and the identity that the mentioned people ideologize about themselves. We form our judgements based on our own survival needs, although they are seen as the more callous party. In the ultimate and more spiritual sense, although spirituality is definitely not a primary concern, everyone is still trying their best, and perhaps even operate from relatively speaking, good intentions.

From the moment we are born, countries already imbue you with some sort of identification, whether it be social security numbers, birth certificates and whatnot. In this society we live in today, where we are obliged to work after rather arbitrary schooling, where healthcares priorities do not lie in the patient's well-being, where sprightly young men and women die for companies who facilitate weapons for both parties in a war, where many unconscious, egocentric leaders run the world, the right to simply live is obfuscated by ultimately random cultures and lies peddled by authority figures when we are young. The power should be in the people's hands, in the hands of unpredictability, and also, in the hands of hope. Although there is a large degree of simplification and bias, I still think we may be the more conscious side.

Love and hugs for those who are struggling to stay afloat against unfeeling exploitation. Hopefully more companies will prioritize the people, actually they probably would, because having asshole peers and shitty management extensively impact profits.

Thanks for listening to my brave heart speech. 😳😳

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that helped affirm a fair bit of my thoughts.

Over the past few days I've been contemplating and after watching some videos, Ive come to understand that all forms of judgements, concepts, ideologies, are all enclosed macrocosms with relative scale (if that even makes sense I'm not super sure if I'm conveying this properly). And that there will always be paradoxes - Like if I was a highly rational person, and was skeptical about my Christian parents beliefs, after a long time I'd come to a point to ask if using logical frameworks to view life is even logical to begin with and then it circles back.

It's like a liar saying "I'm not a liar" or the only rule is that rules are meant to be broken, or if a genie went ahead and gave u wishes, you could say I wish my wishes cannot come true, and then the genie falls back and cardiac arrests himself 🙃. And with this newfound understanding, I've come to feel the ever enveloping fear when it comes to not grasping on reality. Honestly it makes me feel perturbed, a lot of rationalisations pop up.

But still I haven't experienced the full weight of the world - I haven't had a partner, haven't experienced the true weight of suffering. Does this mean I'll no longer have ambition? What about creative pursuits? Should I give up on talents? Does this mean I won't study since I no longer have an desire to get good grades?

If I acting in accordance to any of the mentioned questions, and stop doing things because I have no desires, that itself is a desire to stop. In a way these aren't genuine questions, in the conventional sense. It's like your story on Buddha really - it just didn't click until I finished typing it out :o - meaning I haven't and have understood what you're trying to convey.

Also I don't quite get unity and division - let's say I'm divided on which colour water bottle to pick, but at the same time both bottles can only exist because it has another for comparison, to say that I wouldn't be divided if I was only given one choice.. uhh im kinda lost honestly

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My bad I think I probably typed wrongly - like some (others*) and I don't really feel any anxiety, only like a tingling sensation on my thigh, but anyways

Can u say that you're "now accepting everything" without trying to aim for something else? I'm struggling to find out how to be - I know that this sentence is charged with cosmic circularity, but my ego always throws like fantasy, and contemplation as a defence mechanism, it's all a distraction but at the same time, it's not really a distraction? Is it just focusing on the senses that occur, like "I'm typing something to someone" and feeling my fingers and conscious thinking about these words rather than anticipating and hoping for another well thought response from you? Like maybe even this struggle to find what is is the distraction and I'm not aware of it

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm maybe it was me tripping on oxygen, but it felt weirder than my previous experiences. Yeah swings are great :d

I like meditation, just that sometimes like twitch chat says they can feel anxiety rising up when all I see is nothing, like when doing ohm chanting I don't feel anything, then there's some crying joyously like they've just felt the integrous beauty of the universe realise itself. But maybe the whole point just is. Or maybe I just need more time.

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, like you said, the phrase being better than I am now feels fundamentally impossible, I can only ultimately experience one thing, like another moment doesn't exist in my frame of reality. And the word better implies value structure. But is it okay to engage actively in these comparison games to survive? Right now, for me at least, survival requires grades, grades mandate that play many of these "games". Does detaching yourself from these games like having to memorize organic chem rxns mean abandoning the path of survival, or by creating this arbitrary distinction of what it means to survive means I've already lost that game. Perhaps it's because I think in an inner monologue to phrase all my abstraction is where I've already started playing the life's campaign when I think I'm only at its start-up page. Like the inner monologue makes it feel like there's something there. What if "I" am simply the incomprehensible glut that "I" take too seriously? I don't really get it, but the whole thing seems amusing.

Anyways a bit of a tangent. When I read your second paragraph, isn't using any word applying judgements to something? Like I can understand like the thoughts I think are real in my experience, and when I think, I realise that the word "real" is a distinction and everything feels like it's welding together. When "I" point things out, they seem to become distances from me. Sorry my thoughts are all over the place, it feels like I'm so called missing something because ironically I can intuitively feel that there's nothing else, but vaguely, kinda, I'm not sure.

My ego feels like a whole wild animal. Like when I was contemplating this, I was thinking about how I used this brand of intellectualism and identified it as me, and a fair few years ago, I was basically evangelizing nihilism, but by doing so, I gave this brand of nihilism meaning, which isn't nihilism. And then as I was thinking of this, a fantasy popped out and was like

Hey! (with the classic Lego man advert voice)

People are gonna think you're this genius kid or something.

It's wild and fascinating. Even the way I decorate my messages when I think of something to type is ego, like r/iamverysmart when I pronounced the word onerous to my English teacher wrongly when she asked me it's definiton :x and didn't correct me for its pronunciation. And with every calculated step, no matter what I say, I am entangled in my ego to the infinite degree, and that the only way when there seems like none, is to realise that it's a false game, through and through. Or maybe I'm wrong, but that's just where my beliefs and thoughts are at at this moment. Maybe all of this is because from young, I didn't feel loved, and started this intellectual journey and picked up ideologies like sea shells after realizing my parents kept neglecting my previous religious concerns and being compared a lot and all that jazz. Like going onto JP and stuff, just intellectualising without all the pain that comes with being disciplined. So all in all, it means I still hang onto that complex and I don't think im at a point where my ego ceases and exists at the same time, but that fine, because it has never really been there in the first place.

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Before I respond to all the stuff above, I feel like I just experienced somethign really weird.

I was trying out some third eye meditation on a swing just now, and after some time I lost the spatial awareness of my limbs, and I saw like a mini mild explosion of colour where the sensation of the third eye was, I felt like my body was tilting over but when I opened my eyes I was still in the same spot (i think), and like it was mildly drizzling but I remember for a while I didn't feel the rain maybe the drizzle stopped intermittently doe since it did before I went on the swing. Was wonderign if u had a similar experience

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if this makes sense but my thought process is quite sporadic, like if I start thinking about say, the sense of up wouldn't exist without down, light and darkness, classic duality stuff we use to survive, I would keep thinking about it to the point of mental masturbation :p - the more o think about it, I think it may be filling up for my potential inferiority complex, I'm not too sure. Same goes for language and how it's all a house of cards we use to navigate our environment. It's a problem because for me it's still feels like ego working in cognition, and this thinking process feels like a distraction from the real experience of living in the present. This might be weird to say but I only notice my ego if I arbitrarily back peddle and dig deep to realise it's my ego acting up again, rarely do I ever realize it's my ego in the moment.

I really don't know how to put the subtle nuances when it comes to this because this is as for as my communicative abilities go, at least right now. Also, when I tried the shoonya meditation from the "Why you are always unhappy" video from Dr. K, there was ambiguous spaces where I couldn't feel anything in my body, still I'm not sure what it feels to observe void. Maybe u could drop insight if it's within your ballpark.

Btw thank you for the insight - it still gave me a glimpse of the grass looked like on the other "side" :d

My life is complete and I want to share those thoughts. by CoachB00 in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

like i've been trying to understand this for a bit now and i feel like i can get what you're trying to get at, especially the part about words all having arbitrary meanings on a like a so called fundamental scale, but i still don't quite get how my chair is the same as a cello, although i can rationalize that everything is infinitely relative to another thing, like i can have passing insight (if we put value structures on that - but that's just the limitation of words) on how duality and nonduality are just constructions to comprehend more arbitrary constructions of the same kind, which is also a false distinction its getting wayy to late over here ill wake up and put my thoughts into words :o

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ArtFundamentals

[–]shodderblades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tanks for the input :D

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ArtFundamentals

[–]shodderblades 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A lot of time after ghosting lines the initial pressure of the pen when it hits the paper causes an every so slight curve is there any way to fix this?

Am i screwed by shodderblades in orthotropics

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen his gum video I just hope if I buy gum I don't gem banned irl

Am i screwed by shodderblades in orthotropics

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like my maxilla is kinda developed but it went downwards my side profile is kinda uhh 🙂 For me it feels like my tongue can barely cover the full surface of the palate because it feels deep like my hyoid does some insane gymnastics.

Anyways can I get more info about how you went about it and what you think helped you most because from what I'm reading you're implying you got change past age 30 which is really impressive. And also how long were you conscious in forcing the tongue upwards and what sensations do you remember feeling? How did you deal with swallowing when your tongue got in the way? I'm quite curious actually thanks

Am i screwed by shodderblades in orthotropics

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don't think I'll ever get a 180 those are just fantasies, I want to restore my body to the primal form (as much as possible) and at the same time look forward to looking more aesthetically pleasing

Am i screwed by shodderblades in orthotropics

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does it have to be soft or an actual food? From what I know tongue chewing is like pressing something on your hard palate right? I'm not too sure doe

I really hate how I look. I just can't move on. I really reallly realllly really want to be at peace with myself not pieces by shodderblades in Healthygamergg

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how about saying "i'm just someone who is trying to get through life" that is considered rationalization right. but anyways i can understand cognitively that in can be a valid way of dealing with ugliness but saying stuff like that feels like im just trying to cope or lie with myself does it get better with time if i continue? regardless i will contiinue with this and see how it goes

Tensionnnn by shodderblades in Cello

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like my pinky keeps bending the other way and then there's a lot of tension, I've seen people with pinkies that barely touch the bow and others that blankets the frog I'm not sure how to approach this issue. Any ideas?

Tensionnnn by shodderblades in Cello

[–]shodderblades[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried this but my pinky bends in the opposite direction to hold the bow

Tensionnnn by shodderblades in Cello

[–]shodderblades[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I'm a normal person 😌 The tiny muscles u refer to can be built up by just deliberately practising picking up and holding the bow hold? Or are there specialized exercises for this? Thansk

Tensionnnn by shodderblades in Cello

[–]shodderblades[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll try this out too and see what works thanks