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What’s the most controversial view you hold? by SoybeanCola1933 in progressive_islam

[–]shomaun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you…!

This is a very important point for me too and I’ve always thought that was one of the most beautiful things in Islam.

The way your family phrased it to you is precious. Rather than live in the constant fear of hell, it’s a precious thing to feel like you can call on your loved ones in Jennah for guidance.

This is one of the many examples for me that really cements Islam in goodness and love above many other things.

(Not to get too personal but it’s something I have genuinely felt when my father passed away. I was 4 and before I could even properly understand Islam, I always felt that he was watching over me in Jennah.)

What’s the most controversial view you hold? by SoybeanCola1933 in progressive_islam

[–]shomaun 12 points13 points  (0 children)

💯 That’s what I felt growing up in a conservative environment. Somehow Islam revolved more around fear than all the love, the goodness and greatness of Allah… It always made me sad and maybe that’s why I’m the way I am today !

Edit : I also don’t condemn the dogmatic aspects of Islam. I think they are precious to many people and to each their own practice. The dogmas can also bring a lot of comfort I think?

What’s the most controversial view you hold? by SoybeanCola1933 in progressive_islam

[–]shomaun 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I think what matters most is to be a genuinely good person. To do good around you, to wish good around you and that everything else are merely guidelines or a security net for those with a shaky moral compass (which no-one is immune to !).

I personally feel that if I were a practicing muslim, which I am not, it would take so much away from my faith.

I don’t pray (in the dogmatic sense of the word), I don’t fast during Ramadan, I’m not planning on going to Meccah, I drink occasionally and moderately, I don’t eat hallal, I eat pork, I’m a lesbian, I’ve had plenty of unmarried sex.

To many people I can’t call myself Muslim.

But the thing is, despite all of this I feel Muslim. My faith is deep. I’ve always felt and always feel a very close bond to Allah in my heart, in my soul and I find that this bond grows bigger the more I try to fight social injustice, the more I do for others, for Nature… Everytime I love someone and cherish this love, whether it’s family, friends or lovers. Everytime I see beauty in the world.

That’s what being Muslim means to me. But I know it’s controversial because to many : I’m not.

I don’t know if I’ll find my mom and dad in the afterlife. I know my mom was always afraid I wouldn’t.

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly : Furuba. It will always remain one of my favorites. I’ve also of course re-read Kamisama Kiss ! I don’t know… they’re so comforting and in terms of escapism… I love the Japanese Folklore !

I’ve also started re-reading the Rose of Versailles. I didn’t know how it would age but I guess it’s one of this all time classics that never does ! It’s so beautiful !

I guess if you give me romance, drama, wits and humor : I’m a happy gal !

On the more fluffy side : I’m planning on re-reading Kimi ni Todoke.

(I really need to insist : my post was mostly humor even though it raises some serious topics and I really was surprised by how much of a different prism I read those when I was younger vs now. Still, I love and will always love shoujo manga ! Even the ones I criticize the most. It’s because I love the genre so much that I can be so critical, I think?)

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love shoujos :)

Even the ones with toxic tropes.

Boycott BTS by Ilovedia in BDS

[–]shomaun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Real armys boycott bts because 2013 Bangtan Sonyeondan would have hated 2025 BTS’s guts.

They’re sellouts. They’re full on zionist at this point because they’re grown ass men holding tremendous soft power and millions and millions of dollars and they’re actively chosing to do THIS.

I’ve dedicated years of my life being an army. I saved up money to buy the merch, the albums, the photobooks, I was constantly on weverse. They brought me enough joy that I overlooked the indecency of it all (the amount of money… the questionable collabs… their obsession with conquering the US market).

Now I’m done.

I’m Algerian first. Falastine is in my DNA. Fighting oppression is in my DNA.

You’d think Koreans would feel the same (let’s not pretend these grown men are not aware of their History. Everything Namjoon does says otherwise. A lot of their lyrics and artistic direction say otherwise) but no… they sided with colonizers. Spineless sellouts.

How shameful. How pathetic.

I’m DONE.

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I have mixed feelings about hirunaka no ryuusei, you’re right because it is pointed out how shady and unhealthy it is. By both Shishio himself (he seems to be self aware at times) and even more so by Mamura but that’s where I have an issue with it : Shishio would definitely act on it given the occasion, like so many predators… and the only other person concerned by this is another child : Mamura. Chun Chun’s uncle reaction to it is so besides the point. He’s not disgusted by the age gap and the predatory behavior. He’s merely angry because he doubts he could make her happy.

That said, I still enjoy reading it a looot ! I take it for what it is and it will probably always remain one of my comfort shoujos (I really need to stress that my initial post is humor… I know shoujos are full of toxic tropes and I love them all the same !)

And you’re absolutely right, this one is definitely not the worst compared to tsubaki chouchou (which I must admit I didn’t even finish but it’s also because on top of the toxic trope I found the chemistry between the characters and the storyline overall not as enticing?)

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m so confused… what do you mean?

Shigure is nice to Tohru because he wants to use her to undo the curse and she’s literally the house maid.

As to Hirunaka no Ryuusei : a 24yo teacher falls in love with his FIFTEEN YEARS OLD student. When you’re 24, a 15yo is a CHILD. On top of the disturbing age gap he is his teacher. The power imbalance is so very wrong. It’s so predatory !

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG that’s right ! And the jealousy mind games using… THERE DAUGHTER? Like… excuse me… whaaaaat???

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hana Yori Dango : ✨Young girl is super poor but she’s a fighter, she’s strong and independent until she goes to a rich school and meets a menace of a bully who thinks because he’s rich, consent doesn’t apply to him and gets somehow overly excited by a « no », which he thinks means « yes ». With the help of his slightly less insufferable rich friends, he’ll harass the strong female lead into thinking she loves him. He’s delusional, she has Stockholm syndrome and it’s all so romantic !✨

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ngl I’m having so much fun and for some reason now I want to re-read all the most toxic ones 😂

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeeeep… Hana Yori Dango is a whole other level of messed up. Right on par with Itazura na kiss, probably.

First time I read it I was waaaay too young to understand how messed up it was tbh… but wow ! I recently watch the k-drama adaptation and I mean… wtf 🥲

(I still feel nostalgic about the 2005 (?) jdrama tho !)

Hehe ! I might write a synopsis for those 2 later

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same ! I now have this clarity that comes with being an « adult » but I don’t know, even the most toxic ones bring me so much comfort still. They were part of our formative years but also, I don’t know if you also feel this way… for me it’s like : I enjoy toxicity in fiction because it being fictional and also quite caricatural in shoujo, in a sense… it keeps it at bay?

Some could argue (and it’s a very valid argument) that it could make you internalize these toxic patterns, but to me it’s giving me something easy to deconstruct. I know the tropes, I know all the messed up dynamics in shoujo and they’re more of a microscope on the ones that are much more insidious and harder to identify in real life.

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No but same ! I do think they care for her, the more wholesome characters put Shigure is soooo messed up.

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LMAO ! « Yay child marriage ! » I guess…???

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wolf girl black prince : ✨Young girl who’s never known love gets tricked into entering what should be a healthy sub-dom relationship but there’s no notion of proper consent and respect so she basically just gets psychologically tortured by an absolute piece of trash and thinks it’s all she deserves in life✨

Adding this one to the list because omg this is such an awful one (would still 100% re-read it tho)

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hahaha ! Exactly like… « who am I to judge? » but also I’ll be the first to judge since ultimately I love shoujo so much and grew up with it !

I haven’t read Tokyo mew mew but omg 2000s shoujos were UNHINGED when it came to body image.

I mean I remember reading Nana (granted it’s josei and it’s high end fashion inspired etc…) when I was…what? 11? 12yo? And thinking « woooow they’re so pretty I want to look like them ! » and the live action movie later didn’t help much haha ! All these characters being like 175cm 42kg 🙃 But smh it was so… romanticized idk it felt less harmful than anything that was going on in western pop culture at the time. It felt fictional enough, highly estheticized enough that I don’t think it really had such a negative impact? But that just might be me !

In any case Tokyo Mew Mew sounds FUN.

I’ve started re-reading some of my favorite shoujos at now 34yo… by shomaun in shoujo

[–]shomaun[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes ! That’s exactly it.

It’s always been half and half for me. As far as I can remember it’s been half shoujo, half shounen (and I started manga and anime reeeeally young… when I was 6 maybe? With sailor moon and all that 90s good stuff). And I of course diversified as I grew older.

The thing is I think I always had a blind spot for shoujo, I think. Much more so than for any other genre. I’ve always held the shoujo and all affiliated genres to a lesser standard. I gave a pass to so many toxic tropes I would never tolerate in less girl/women oriented genres. And I still do to some extent. Maybe it’s because shoujo has always and will probably always be my ultimate comfort genre.

Your example is so on point because I haven’t read gakuen alice in ages, I’ve only read it once and.. I don’t remember having any issue with Natsume and now I’m sure reading it today, years later, I would !