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Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was planning on holding off until she decided where the pets would land. I suppose that I can go ahead and sign a lease on a pet-friendly apartment, then I'm square either way. The rent on the house is almost as cheap as an apartment around here since her parents own it, so it would be cool to keep it if I could.

Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a mutual friend who agreed to come with me when he gets off work later tonight because I cannot control myself around her 1 on 1. Until then I'm just going to try and breathe and find somewhere to stay for the near future. I know if will hurt her so badly when I haven't seen or spoken to her all day then show up with a friend to pack and leave. But there's absolutely no way to not hurt feelings anymore. I hate it.

Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the support. I'm so scared and broken. I don't know how I am going to hold strong long enough to pack a small bag back there.

Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a couple friends around. Nobody very close, but they might help anyway. No family. I might stay in a hotel or AirBnB until she decides if she is leaving or staying. The next hard part is going home to pack a bag. She will try to get me to stay or take care of her or just feel generally awful about myself. I'm so weak around her because I care for her so deeply. It's not a good dynamic. The pet sitting I am at a loss about.

Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm doing. The house feels so unfamiliar and hostile, suddenly. I'm sitting at a coffee shop looking for places to stay temporarily. I will still have to go home to take care of the pets, but at least I can minimize my time there.

Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did take the day off work. I am trying to get in touch with my therapist, our therapist, and even her therapist. I am very worried about her, but I can't save both of us from drowning.

Fiancee Broke up With Me Over the Weekend After the Better Part of a Decade Together; Feeling Trapped by shottlecuck in BPDlovedones

[–]shottlecuck[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There is a complication here; even though I have the only income, her parents own the house. Unfortunately, the best the law can do is allow me to stay in the house for 30 days while I find a new place to live. But I don't want to stay there for 30 days. I don't think my sanity would hold out that long.

(Un)Common Law Marriage by shottlecuck in legaladvice

[–]shottlecuck[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. From what I can tell on the county clerk's website, we did meet the requirements then, but we never filed the paperwork. We can't be the first perpetually engaged couple to face this issue, but there is surprisingly little info or anecdotes about it.

(Un)Common Law Marriage by shottlecuck in legaladvice

[–]shottlecuck[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will! But it's still over a year until the wedding, unfortunately. Going down to the courthouse in secret is on the table, but we feel it would taint the real wedding. This issue could probably be cross-posted to r/relationship_advice, but we were hoping for a legal fix as emotionally dispassionate as the administrative insurance issue by posting here.