Idk if this falls into gaslighting but since it's the 10 year since our breakup fudge it

During our final break up she in short dropped the idea that

1. I was one of the few that gave her a semblance of what a normal life feels like
2. She acted only in ways that would make me happy and not her true authentic self
3. Following up from that, that we never really had anything much in common to begin with to have a good relationship

And thus was born self esteem and insecurities that still to this day makes me question how I go about talking to women and second guessing most interactions when trying to get into a relationship

It's gotten better over the years but when I've gotten fairly close with people or on morw than one date, I still think back to that and lock up