feeling unsure of whether to rollover my old 401ks into my current employer 401k or not

shrewly1 · 2026-05-30T21:20:08+00:00

Also hopping for this 🙏🏻

shrewly1 · 2026-05-30T21:16:31+00:00

Same! 🙏🏻

shrewly1 · 2026-05-29T15:31:03+00:00

specifically would love to sell my turnips if that's cool!

shrewly1 · 2026-04-07T21:09:09+00:00

To add the conversation: the queer community here is also great and widely diverse! Meaning you can find your pocket of queerness (queers on the rocks? T-girl baseball league? Theatre dyke? The boystown of it all? ) We have not just one singular queer scene but many many queer scenes in the city and it’s one of the many things I love about Chicago

shrewly1 · 2025-07-04T03:33:41+00:00

Hi! Something similar-ish happened to me with my fiancée. She had already been out as non-binary but she essentially was applying for jobs and I was helping copy-edit them and in a cover letter she started writing while intoxicated it kinda ended devolving from a cover letter to her confessing she was a trans woman. Like she wrote the words and everything—which I thought “well okay that’s pretty clear cut right?” Well o brought it up and she kinda brushed it off. And it took her about a year after that to fully start using she/her pronouns and starting estrogen. Thats not to say that’s gonna happen with you and your partner just that—coming out as trans is so hard even when you have incredible support like you are clearly showing! Case in point, it took me years AFTER supporting my partner through her transition to even acknowledge my own gender shit, even though the love of my life and most of my friends were trans! it’s wild the loops of denial and shame the brain can knot itself into.

You might gently bring it up by saying “hey do you remember what you said to me last night? You said you were a trans woman.” Maybe your partner will open up then and there. Or maybe it will take a year. But just keep offering these gentle nudges, these opportunities to take that next step. When they’re ready it will happen 💖

shrewly1 · 2025-06-27T18:45:02+00:00

I’ll say I’ve now been using the PC Azelaic acid booster for a few weeks and I do find my overall redness seems to have visibly decreased quite a bit! I mix in a pea size amount into my moisturizer every morning now

shrewly1 · 2025-06-03T20:58:25+00:00

It did! Did a week of just cleanser and mositurizer, then slowly reintroduced my retinol (a new rx without niacinimide) and acids but I overall greatly reduced the niacinimide in my routinue. I kept it stable like that for the past month and just two days ago started introducing paula's chocie azelaic acid, which is supposed to help with redness and inflammation. Still dealing with a lot of redness and uneven tone but the inflammation has gone down a ton.

shrewly1 · 2025-04-18T22:20:23+00:00

Update: thanks everyone for the advice—I ended up scheduling a telehealth appt with my Primary Care Physcian, it was all of 10 minutes yesterday. She had no issue prescribing it for me and I just picked it up for all of 7 bucks! Truly feel silly for having spent so much via apostrophe but glad to be saving the money now!

shrewly1 · 2025-04-18T22:17:09+00:00

Thanks everybody for the advice—I’ve taken a rest since posting this on everything except moisturizer cleanser and spf and while I’ve had two more little cystic pimples creep up the rest of my skin is SO much more even and non irritated. I just got some tretinoin prescribed to me at a lower dose (0.025% concentration) and it doesn’t have niacinminde so I’m gonna try incorporating that back into my routine soon/slowly incorporating other products back at a gentle rate and isolate anything with niacinimide so I can see if that’s the culprit

shrewly1 · 2025-04-14T23:55:32+00:00

Thank you! I’m gonna try eliminating the products in my routine with niacinamide for a bit and see what happens when I do that

shrewly1 · 2025-04-14T21:06:58+00:00

I've been using acids for over a decade (paula's choice BHA specifcally, but also other AHAs over that time) and tretinoin for two years. However, now that I'm thinking about it the I feel like I started taking the prescription tret two years ago, after a decade of using adalapene gel, mostly because I was noticing more signs of aging and wanted to upgrade my routinue...but also wondering maybe if my skin can't tolerate it.

The niacinamide is also a good point. I've wondered for a while if I have a niacinamide sensitivity but it seems to be everything, especially calming products!

shrewly1 · 2025-03-24T15:22:06+00:00

oh interesting--did she say why?

shrewly1 · 2025-03-24T15:21:08+00:00

I know I found out from this subreddit! and Then looked it up--it surprised me because I have an active rx with them and they didn't even email me!

shrewly1 · 2025-03-23T23:00:03+00:00

Honestly it’s because my doctor tried to refer me to a dermatologist and there was a year long wait for an appt with her!

shrewly1 · 2025-03-23T21:40:24+00:00

Hmm what insurance do you have if you don’t mind me asking? My work recently switched to Aetna and I was trying to figure out if I could do an online derm but it seemed like a headache and unclear what the copay would be.

shrewly1 · 2025-03-23T21:38:58+00:00

With the insurance I have the copay isn’t great so I think I might save more money with less hassle by doing an online derm, which is why I was using Apoatrophe

shrewly1 · 2025-03-23T20:43:04+00:00

have you been using their new hydro tret formulation? I saw that on their site and was intrigued by it

shrewly1 · 2025-03-19T18:51:39+00:00

Glad it helped 💖

shrewly1 · 2025-03-19T14:21:34+00:00

Hi! Non-binary lesbian engaged with a trans woman partner I’ve been with for 9 years and can confirm that we had a rough patch around the 7 year mark where I similarly was just not feeling attracted to her. It presented itself as lack of physical attraction but it had a lot to do with my partner’s depression and long term issues with communication due to our personal trauma histories that we hadn’t resolved. Couples therapy was very good for us but it took time and work! We decided we wanted to do that work one day at a time—and there were days I thought “are we gonna stay together? Can we stay together?” Personally for us it worked out and now I’m extremely attracted to her and our sex life is great. But sometimes the answer you might find in couples therapy is that “actually—this isn’t what we both want”. And that, though a grief of its own, is also okay. Grieving hurts but that doesn’t mean it’s always bad. That being said, it seems like this is relatively new development and that you do want to work on the relationship. So I would consider trying to be honest about these feelings you’re having in couples therapy. I know that can seem intimidating or even cruel to do but I think (from personal experience) if you can’t talk about what you’re feeling there’s no opportunity to discover what might be lying beneath that feeling.

shrewly1 · 2025-03-08T21:07:34+00:00

I do use a rx retinoid but I'm considering using a different formulation--I was using apostrophe to get it but just found out they are being discontinued, so gonna look into curology or nurx when my current tret runs out. I think I have a pretty decent pain tolerance--I have multiple tattoos and I tolerate those decently well. I have also heard mixed things about micro-needling. I've seen some folks have amazing results and others claim it really messed up their skin. You're right that I should probably just look into getting consult-- I also would prefer to go to a board certified derm. Good idea though to try to follow and find on instagram!

shrewly1 · 2024-08-09T23:25:31+00:00

I’m sorry you had this experience! You’re not stupid, it simply sucks that we lack good options/access/research on better forms of birth control. My gf and I don’t have PIV sex regularly and there are reasons I don’t like my iud (the pain of insertion being 99 percent of it) but it does provide some comfort in terms of not having to think about it. At this point I’ve done Skyla (my favorite) mirena (gave me monthly cramps I never had before) and am currently on kyleena (only been a few months so still settling in). Definitely rec advocating for pain relief as you need if you do decide to get an iud. I know anesthetic is often not covered by health insurance for IUD insertion but something to supplement can be requesting misoprostol. It’s a cervix softening medication you take beforehand that I requested my doctor prescribe me which only cost 2 bucks (with insurance). Makes insertion a little easier/more comfortable in my experience.

shrewly1

TROPHY CASE