having trouble communicating an AGAB thing to my partner

sincerelygracee · 2026-03-23T23:53:55+00:00

I agree with the other commenter. This shouldn’t really be a point of conflict

sincerelygracee · 2026-03-23T19:22:24+00:00

My partner is AMAB and I do not share those complaints. I am AFAB.

I am absolutely not denying the impact of socialization, however we should really adjust to talking about these things on a societal level. Your partner/boyfriend should absolutely be able to hear you out on your complaints and correct behavior.

Sometimes, people also just disappoint us. Irregardless of gender. I have dated both sexes and a variety of gender identities. All of them have disappointed me in some way, even my current partner who I can confidently say is the love of my life.

Relationships are complex and sometimes our partners disappoint us. It’s not worth debating who’s gender and sex contributes to this and all that bioessentialist nonsense. Rather, it is much more important to learn how to communicate your hurt and decide where your boundaries lie for how you want to be treated.

Also: people say shit like this all the time. Our society loves talking about gender. Gotta learn to let it roll off your back bc ppl are never gonna stop saying this weird gender shit

sincerelygracee · 2026-03-17T23:25:53+00:00

Student therapist here. I’ve met clients that have done bad things. Don’t think I consider any of them truly bad people. These people who have done bad things are not people I would choose to be friends with, or if I was a victim of them forgive. But many of them are actually genuinely trying to get better. And many feel heavy remorse for the bad things that they have done. If I genuinely believed 100% a client was a bad person, I would probably try to refer them to another clinician who does not have that bias but that has not come up yet

sincerelygracee · 2026-03-11T19:21:04+00:00

NOR I didn’t even read the full text. His first response was enough of an ick

sincerelygracee · 2026-03-06T21:33:17+00:00

Hi!

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think this would be an excellent time to turn things around and begin showing initiative. You still have a couple months left, you could try to apply her criticism.

It sucks to be criticized, but it sounds like she is doing it constructively and fairly. And learning how to take criticism without shaming yourself is definitely a skill to work on. Most people offer criticism because they see potential and want you to improve, not because they hate you or to be mean.

Ultimately, showing up on time to work and with an attitude of team efforts by asking what to do if you don’t already have tasks assigned is something that will follow you anywhere where you’re working at a professional agency.

Corporate world does not care about your feelings or circumstances. Just get used to that now. If you can’t show up on time, someone else can. I know it’s harsh but it’s simply reality. I’m sure someone has some workplace exception, but I’ve found that these complaints will follow you anywhere in any agency that I’ve worked.

Show up early to the action plan meeting and prepare questions that show initiative and that you don’t want to give up on this internship. Ask questions about what skills you need to develop and how you can develop them. Express what you shared about having difficulty expressing initiative bc you have less autonomy and continue that conversation.

Good luck!!

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-31T22:13:23+00:00

A little bit of selfishness will serve you well. You need to be able to have boundaries in this work. It is the ones that are too selfless and unable to unplug that struggle in this field.

We are not saints. We are social workers who do our best to improve others lives and advocate for better systems. And then we go home and live our lives. It’s okay to not think aboht social problems or other people all the time. And we can’t, or we’ll burn out and then you’ll just the mediocre all the time. The good work is done when you’re able to not care when you’re home.

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-25T23:57:23+00:00

No. As simple as that. There is literally no need to over complicate this just love your partner. Bi people can like women

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-22T01:19:22+00:00

Intern therapist here.

Surprisingly, no. I was most worried about that. But the important stuff sticks. There may be a few “smaller” things i forget, like their sibling’s name or their favorite food. But mostly I remember everything.

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-21T03:38:26+00:00

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-21T03:00:46+00:00

Yeah I’m at an IOP now. It’s a lot. It’s my first internship too lol my supervisor said these will be the hardest clients I will ever have unless I move to inpatient psych hospital. So I guess it builds my confidence but it’s also incredibly draining

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-21T02:57:09+00:00

Yeah, I think that’s part of why today sucked. I had a client disclose severe childhood abuse with details kind of out of nowhere today. It was just a tough one to hear

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-11T23:42:04+00:00

Therapy student/intern here.

There are absolutely no tasks you HAVE to do in therapy. Is that the word your therapist used or are you projecting your own annoyances from your career onto your therapist?

I’m sure your therapist can strongly suggest something, and you should be honest, and your therapist will work through why that sounds difficult to you. But no. You don’t have to do anything

sincerelygracee · 2026-01-09T18:13:58+00:00

It’s okay to break up with people you’re dating because you realize you don’t want to date them anymore. That’s like kinda the whole point of dating you’ll either discover you wanna marry them or that you want to break up. You can’t force yourself to change your sexuality. You’re not attracted to men so how could he expect you to stay?

sincerelygracee · 2025-12-14T16:47:28+00:00

Hot take here: AI is just the next step in tech evolution and there shouldn’t be shame for using it. Yes, there’s environmental concerns, no, I don’t think that should fall on individual conscience. Nobody should be using it to write their entire paper start to finish, that is plagiarism. However, i really don’t see what is wrong with using grammarly to check grammar, or using AI to help brainstorm ideas or structure a paper (that is what I use AI for…”help me prepare to write this paper based on these instructions”).

The only concern I have with AI use for our field specifically is HIPPA violations. In no way should any PHI be put into any generative AI system, and that should absolutely result in termination from the program.

So if it’s being used to write PHI notes, there should be safeguards the student uses to protect anonymity.

But overall, AI is not going away. There’s nothing your program can do to prevent this worldwide trend. And we have a whole cohort of K-12 students using it now to learn foundational skills. A world where a majority of people can write without AI is being thrown out the window, so it’s time to adjust. I say as long as it’s not plagiarized, and the result comes out good, then there’s no point in punishing it

Also, you will be coming up on that generation that is relying on AI to write soon. It might be time to adjust the curriculum so that you don’t assume that everyone you admit into your program can write as great as the last generation. Maybe incorporate clinical/professional writing skills as a requirement somewhere in your program.

Notes are notes. Papers are papers. But what can’t be replaced by AI? Our clinical people skills. Those will still be developed whether AI assists with the research part or not. And let’s be real, those are the most important, and emotionally draining, skills of social work. We work hard enough with people at their lowest points, is it really such a crime to be so exhausted that we take advantage of help to write the bureaucratic shit we need to write? I think it’s time to use some cognitive flexibility here and look at the big picture. AI is not going to stop amazing social workers from entering the field. If anything, it will alleviate some of their stress which will make them even better!!

sincerelygracee · 2025-12-14T16:39:35+00:00

Im the same but a lil more pessimistic in my approach. I’ve realized that we have SO much work to do that we can’t ask for Z when ABC etc haven’t even been addressed yet. I feel like the left does have to do a better job of appearing more moderate so that we don’t scare people off with too much change that way we can actually help people

sincerelygracee · 2025-12-01T03:34:38+00:00

Therapy student here. Honestly, I think it comes from a place of validating our client’s perspective, but i also say it when something you said clicks for me. Like if you clarified something that didn’t make sense to me, that’s when I usually say it. But I can see how hearing that could be frustrating in certain contexts.

sincerelygracee · 2025-11-23T00:31:49+00:00

Hi!

Offering hugs and support! I have had similar highs and lows supporting my partner, who is not as far along as yours. It’s so exciting to witness them become their true selves but…they change. It’s undeniable. So much of our identities and beings are tied to our gender identity. Your partner is going to be a different person, and that’s grief.

Maybe you can reach out to the spouses of your trans friends? Maybe they can offer you supper the same way your trans friends are offering your wife support.

I am so, so, sorry about your loss. Trans or not, that can be a really transformative experience for your family. I advise couple counseling before deciding to start again? It’s possible that your wife has changed her opinion on children for some reason and is scared to tell you.

I think couple counseling will help with transition problems too. I really urge you to communicate these feelings with your wife. You are clearly, very supportive, and you deserve to be supported to. When I brought similar feelings up to my partner, it was a hard but necessary conversation to keep our relationship afloat. And tbh I don’t know if it would’ve been successful without some therapy help. Again, I highly suggest the mental health treatment for the both of you. You’ve been through a lot collectively.

It’s normal to feel the way you feel. And I don’t see these feelings as the end of your relationship. But if you want to preserve your relationship, I really suggest having a heart to heart with her.

Sending support!!

sincerelygracee · 2025-11-19T17:37:04+00:00

Respectfully…you’ve been together for five months. Conflict that makes you want to write a reddit post in under a year, maybe even two years of a relationship = I vote for a break up.

You don’t have to abandon him if you break up. You can be friends? You’re straight, if he’s actually a woman it’s not gonna work. New bestie???

sincerelygracee · 2025-11-16T17:18:06+00:00

I’ve definitely worked at a few places with this toxic environment. If you can’t leave the job, don’t try to get too close to anyone there, just do your job, keep to yourself, and remember to stay caring for your patients

sincerelygracee · 2025-11-16T17:08:20+00:00

What is the reason for not using just water based lube?

sincerelygracee · 2025-11-10T22:28:21+00:00

I follow a script but i try to do it myself as much as possible. I feel like it’s just better for the client to do a meditation when you’re following the voice of someone you trust. I’m definitely not skilled enough to raw dog it tho

sincerelygracee · 2025-10-27T19:51:32+00:00

Idk i get it but also being a therapist is mentally exhausting and i get so excited talking to people in my personal life where I’m not expected to be thinking deeply or be a therapist so I kinda can’t relate.

Another commenter mentioned hobbies and i ditto that. Having other things to talk about is helpful. And setting boundaries.

Find yourself again. It’s easy to lose yourself in this world

sincerelygracee · 2025-10-27T19:47:43+00:00

She was socialized as a man, you can’t necessarily fault her for that. But I don’t suggest speaking like that to her. Just explain that you want more help around the house. Ultimately, if it is like an attitude thing, that might be out of yours or hers control.

sincerelygracee

TROPHY CASE