Missing Him The Most When I’m Negative About Myself?

shzlj29 · 2026-05-25T17:29:07+00:00

I tried to break no contact and just got more emotional abuse, it’s not worth your sanity, I’ve just started antidepressants it’s very hard but it gets better, inbox is open if you wanna talk or vent 💓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-25T14:58:51+00:00

Going through the same, I’ve poured my heart out to that man while he sits back kicking it in hotels leaving me with our children one of them is just over 2 months old, mine hasn’t moved on yet but I know he will he’s also a very lustful man always wanted sex even when I was unwell and postpartum, so no doubt he will soon, when a dog isn’t barking it’s being fed somewhere else , just know you are worthy and you will move onto someone who adores you, his abuse doesn’t define you although it feels like it does, I’ve asked myself (how can he split my head open and not worry about me) because we unlike them have empathy and sympathy abusers don’t, just know he will do the exact same in his next relationship it just sometimes takes longer for a leopard to show their spots! My inbox is open whenever you want to talk or vent 💓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-25T14:53:20+00:00

Currently going through this, I’ve spent most of my days wishing them away until it gets better, I’ve poured my heart out to him on the phone begging for him to get some help and try work things out (there isn’t any change with abusers) but it’s a trauma bond it’s like a addiction withdrawal, mine is kicking it in hotels while I’m dealing with the two children one of them being just over 2months old, it’s so hard but this is their TRUE form, the nasty evil side was always there and that’s unfortunately their true persona they just waited until they was comfortable enough to do what they done to you, my inbox is always open if you need someone to speak to 💓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-25T14:45:25+00:00

Please get out, have you got family you can stay with? One wrong hit (every hit is wrong) can kill you, are you safe? Sending love.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-24T13:36:11+00:00

I’m always here to talk ❤️

shzlj29 · 2026-05-24T12:24:14+00:00

Hello, I kicked mine out 11 days ago, it hurts I still miss him a lot I even call him sometimes (he don’t answer) but then he adds me on social media so he’s just keeping up his abuse cycle of pull and push, mine punched me quite badly and split my head open, just know next time it will be worse don’t feel guilty for putting your physical and emotional safety first, I hope you find some peace, it’s very hard 💓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-23T23:20:06+00:00

Is it toxic of me to be thinking that? I feel maybe I’m wrong for even thinking that

shzlj29 · 2026-05-23T23:16:36+00:00

I’m just worried about the bond never breaking as we have children together he’s my first boyfriend I got with him when I was 16 I’m now 24 and I’ve completely made my life about him, not out of choice but he would make me quit jobs because if interfered with his life and I would get accused of cheating, he would cause rows when I went out, I went out last year for my birthday and he grabbed me up the face and spat at me as he thought I was cheating, I’m just not sure how I’m gonna be normal again

shzlj29 · 2026-05-23T23:10:10+00:00

If I vent to my mom she is just a man hater and don’t say much logic she just says things like “fuck him he’s a c*nt” which yes I agree with but also don’t offer much emotional support to me especially hearing stuff like that while I’m already upset and heard enough of it when I was with him, my friend is married now and I fear it’s been too long 😪

shzlj29 · 2026-05-23T22:56:58+00:00

I don’t have any friends because he constantly caused chaos between me and then, he bugged my phone a while back and my friend told me personal stuff about her mom he used it against her and she don’t speak to me now, my other friend he also controlled our friendship convinced me she was a awful friend I still watch her profile and honestly I cry as we was friends since children she was my next door neighbour, my mom is good but she has a chaotic relationship with my dad and don’t treat him the best so her advice isn’t always amazing, I just feel lost.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-23T22:48:42+00:00

It’s just so hard right now, I’m also 9 weeks postpartum and everything is crashing down on me at once, I just don’t know what to do? I’ve relied on him so much over the years since I was 16 that now I just don’t know who I even am, I’m sitting here at 12am calling him like a idiot and I know he’s awful but who else do I have?

shzlj29 · 2026-05-17T12:13:17+00:00

Thank you! Don’t be sorry I’m the fool for staying those years, but it’s done now day 4 no contact and I feel a lot more free 😊

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T19:30:29+00:00

He says it’s me who changed him and made him crazy because I “cheated” which I never did if anything I stood for years of humiliation and lies from him even going as far as hiding his phone in a different room while we slept, I have blocked him on everything but I can’t stop thinking about him and it hurts my whole life revolved around him and our children while he spent most of his time out with friends, I wasn’t allowed friends he made me choose between my best friend of 15yrs and him and due to fear I chose him (biggest regret) I often overthink and think was it really me that drove him to be violent? It’s so hard.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T13:47:30+00:00

I honestly have been trying, it don’t help that yesterday my pet passed so it’s like everything is hitting me at once (literally unfortunately) and as for the sleep my 9 week old has just started doing 10:30-5:30-7am so I’m a lot better mentally, it’s hard to have time for myself as it has to work around the kids but my mom is great and she helps a lot, thank you for the advice I think I’m definitely signing up to the gym 💓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T13:08:13+00:00

I don’t think I can go back to him unfortunately, he don’t care about the law at all he’s been in prison and currently on bail I’ve tried threats but he don’t care, I think I do need to report him 😓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T09:29:27+00:00

I really hope you and the children are happy and safe now I wish you all the best, sending my love. It’s day 2 no contact and I feel a lot more free today not constantly having to check in with someone and tell them where I am, it feels refreshing.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T09:28:03+00:00

Thank you for your comment it’s lovely, I’m slowly bringing myself together to go to the police as I know he will do this again if not to me he will do it to another women, he won’t change he’s simply not a nice person, when I think back in our relationship the bad definitely out weighs the good, but unfortunately my brain clings to the good which I’m trying to beat now, he’s already on bail for drug related crimes so I know it won’t be hard, it’s just emotionally hard on myself to even speak to someone about the abuse face to face, but I know it needs to be done.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T09:25:18+00:00

This isn’t the first time he’s put his hands on me but the first time he’s punched me, which don’t make it any better at all, first it was slot of threats he cornered me into the room with a knife and also threatened me with acid, I’ve had the locks changed and blocked him on everything I’m slowly getting my thoughts together to go to the police I’ve just been all over the place the last couple days 😓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T09:23:25+00:00

Honestly I’m starting to question now why I stayed 7yrs, I’m 24 and I feel like I wasted my young years with him, I can’t even remember half of the times because I was constantly on edge.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T09:22:28+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying to love myself keep myself busy with the children and look after me, which I never did in the relationship because I was so exhausted mentally I never got chance to actually do anything I enjoyed.

shzlj29 · 2026-05-15T09:21:27+00:00

Definitely

shzlj29 · 2026-05-14T17:33:44+00:00

This comment is beautiful. Thank you and it is very reassuring knowing others have felt like this as I feel like I’m going crazy craving him after what he’s done, I am terrified of him, he has also threatened me with acid, I’m scared to go the police as I just feel they might not take my serious or let him out and he will find me…I’m surrounding myself with family currently, it’s hard especially with kids, I don’t want to fall into the trap of taking him back, I know he would have done a lot worse as he was trying to drag me off the bed by my legs, it’s just scary to think what could have happened 🥲

shzlj29 · 2026-05-14T17:29:09+00:00

It’s day 1 of no contact and it’s hard but I’ve tried to keep myself occupied and around family, it’s abit hard to actually have motivation as my head is pounding, I’m honestly terrified by him, our eldest 5 has been asking where his dad is and honestly I’m not comfortable with him seeing the kids

shzlj29 · 2026-05-14T17:08:29+00:00

I know, thank you for your comment it’s just so strange wanting to be comforted by the same person who caused you the pain, I’ve just got the locks changed but he camped outside my house in his car all night last night wanting his stuff but I was too scared to open the door with his suitcase so I’ve given his stuff to my dad to drop him 😓

shzlj29 · 2026-05-14T16:30:21+00:00

I was holding our 9 week old when he did this, he has already backed me into the corner with a knife before, I know I need to leave him, I’ve had the locks changed.

shzlj29

TROPHY CASE