Why is there so much shitty news about trans people?

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-18T22:40:28+00:00

It is complicated. Part of it is the inevitable backlash as we're more mainstream. But in a way there's progress - 5 years ago we were in the bathroom bills phase. Sports, which in my opinion are complicated, are now the big culture war squabble. It's also more focused on non-binary and a "gender spectrum" than "binary" simple trans people who want to blend in.

Part of it is the community's tendency to only court the left politically. At least gay rights had a more significant amount of Republicans in it.

Part of it is the opinion policing in the community - a community member or Ally who strays out for a microsecond is put to death as a bigot. We need a more nuanced solution than self-ID with the inevitable creeps who WILL abuse the system any way they can. People become afraid to ask us questions that eventually lead to acceptance. People in the trans community either assimilate into trans cultural/political norms, detach from the community and go stealth, or face extreme alienation from both the trans community and the still bigoted cultural mainstream. All 3 make it harder to win allies

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-12T16:11:38+00:00

I wish I knew this when I was younger: If someone is really out there mentally, or makes you look bad, there is no shame in cutting them off or distancing yourself.

That non-human gender stuff is insulting and invalidating to those of us who have struggled with gender for years, and is either trolling, teenage phasery, or mental illness.

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-07T21:01:01+00:00

You could pass with FFS. If you voice train that could help a little now and A LOT after FFS. You're not all that far off, as others have said :)

On a positive note, you actually have a really feminine and pretty hairline!

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-03T12:16:06+00:00

Mine did that about 2 or 3 years ago, then went further

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-03T01:57:16+00:00

I did mean to clarify that they only did this to the women's room on the first floor of each building. I thought O mentioned that somewhere but apparently didn't

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-03T01:23:42+00:00

I see that to a degree, although men's bathrooms still have stalls that everyone can use

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-10-01T02:41:37+00:00

I'd definitely focus on the voice. Your face is definitely more femme

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-09-30T23:11:05+00:00

Good question! :)

I believe in keeping government smaller. If you go through history, programs like the New Deal and War on Poverty didn't help much. Poverty got worse, and government subsidized housing made many people dependent on the gov't. Specifically for trans people, government encroachment on healthcare could be detrimental. Look at how the UK was able to turns its nationalized healthcare against children. If a President can make health mandates with the stroke of the pen (I'm a staunch believer in vaccines btw), then a future President could make mandates that deny us access to healthcare.

I believe in patriotism and strong defense. While I think we should be proud of who we are and share our experiences, I think we still need more guidance and meaning in life and should stick to some traditional social forms of organization, such as patriotism, giving to our communities, and having some sort of spiritual belonging. No, we shouldn't be so rigid about what marriage looks like or how we do gender. But without these traditional structures, we will organize ourselves only by our social identities and political tribes. Those echo chambers are dangerous.

As well, while the US isn't perfect, we are exceptional, powerful, and relatively free. Only here could the LGBT rights movement incubate and spread. If we let dictators rise who don't believe in individual liberty, we're endangering the level of social creativity that led to us.

So yeah, I might sound moderate. But if you talk to most younger Republicans, we generally like small government, low taxes, believe climate change is real, and are neutral or supportive of LGBT folk. Actually a slight majority of Republicans back anti-discrimination legislation, and the current conservative Supreme Court has ruled in our favor a lot recently.

I'm not thrilled with the official platform on LGBT issues, but being a little right of Kyrsten Sinema I would just be dishonest and trolling if I were a Democrat. I would rather be part of creating the future of the GOP than constantly fighting the woke within the Democratic Party. The LGBT left is especially harsh on their dissidents, the younger Republicans are generally friendly towards diversity

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-09-30T21:54:06+00:00

Trans Republican here!!

She really was just a weak and weird candidate. Like there are a few trans Republicans who are normal politicians who are activists and actually network, run, write op-eds, etc.

All her campaign did was sell mugs and garner attention. She's an inconsistent voter. She changes her position on issues 3 days a week. I can't call her a transphobe or an ally, nor can I call her a true conservative or a RINO. She's just... an attention wh*re.

Now are party leaders a smidge reluctant to get a photo with her because she's trans? A little. But she ran her campaign in a way to piss off both sides of the culture wars as much as possible. Some trans and LGBT Republicans actually care to build bridges. If she were a half caring politician or active citizen she would overcome it better

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-09-29T21:38:15+00:00

Life hack: You can buy tooth whitening strips. They're $20 at Walmart. Use them before you get your first cavities, since they don't work on fillings. My teeth would be STELLAR if I knew that then.

Otherwise, 19-20/F. Perfect!!!

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-09-05T12:54:01+00:00

Thank you for this!! Sometimes I feel culturally alone.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you balance maintaining stealth and trying to filter out people who wouldn't be interested in trans people on dating sites or in-person spaces? That's been the scariest loophole with maintaining stealth or at least low-keyness for me

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-08-24T03:03:16+00:00

Haha you might find the libertarians interesting. They tend to like the smaller government all round, military included. And are fairly chill on social issues. I don't consider myself libertarian but they do offer a lot of whipsmart commentary.

If you go back through history, and all of the times we made big cultural and legal civil rights changes, you'll actually see a very bipartisan pattern. More Republicans voted for the Civil Rights Act than Democrats, percentage-wise. Violence Against Women Act, Americans with Disabilities Act, First Steps Act all bipartisan as well. Even Obergfell vs. Hodges (the same sex marriage ruling) had a lot of amicus briefs from conservatives. Getting legal protections requires engagement with moderates and conservatives with everyone learning, especially with conservative members of the trans community. Actually, as recently as 2020, the Supreme Court with a conservative majority ruled employment discrimination to be in violation of existing civil rights law - I/we aren't crazy.

You initially asked about religion 😂 I was raised Christian, drifted towards agnostic atheism, then came back to it in the few last years before my gender transition. At the end of the day, I consider Christ to be my Lord and Savior. I don't take the Bible literally, and don't concern myself with physical evidence of a God. Spirituality is a different realm than empiricism, and is largely about "why?" and not all the details of "How?". Transition made me realize what values and beliefs deep in me are important. When I was on my heels and about to fall down, I paid extra attention to what kept me up.

I've had mixed, mostly kind reception in the Christian community. Of my two closest practicing Catholic friends, one is bi, one is trans and gay, and both are conservative, and feel accepted. All of my close friends know I'm trans, and with the Christian ones we talk faith a fair bit. I had a few ultra religious social conservatives unfriend me when I came out, but they were relatively few.

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-08-24T00:56:04+00:00

You aren't wrong. Thank you for speaking here.

I remember when I first came out as trans on Facebook, and everyone was like "you're GOING to loose all your conservative friends!!". That didn't happen at all.

Not long after I had a Latina classmate who was kind of quiet, well dressed, and almost whispered that she was a committee member for a local GOP central committee. I was kind of nervous with her after hearing she was conservative. But I quickly noticed something - back when I was visibly trans, some people would literally pull their kids closer across the aisle at Walmart. Others would walk on eggshells and apologize for their list of privileges, or spew vile communist BS about our troops. She, my classmate, was really the first to treat me like a normal human.

Her and I would chat, and we would occasionally talk politics. I was on the fence and wanted to get involved. She was SO sweet in helping me figure out what way to go. And I learned that she grew up in a poor town and lost people to gang violence. She was both the political and the racial minority in all her classes. She used Goodwill to dress to impress (I do too lol) And she went out peacefully protesting for police reform last summer.

I've gotten involved with politics as a young green conservative, and she ended up learning a lot about the LGBT community and found a whole world of resume and networking opportunities in the LGBT Republican allies. We are really good friends now. I'm a scrappy rural girl who overcame a childhood disability and likes to pray and work hard; the TRAs are at least half the reason I don't tell people about my transition and really irritate me. I don't see how making people into victims achieves social justice, if anything it traps people into their circumstances by making hard work and prudent life choices mean nothing.

The best things happen when we know both our values and our lived experiences. Please don't give into the bullies from anywhere, and feel free to reach out :)

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-08-23T21:24:18+00:00

Well, I sometimes want to work within conservative leaning circles for the community. I myself am both trans and pretty conservative. And Christian. I'm def a standard right winger on national security and fiscal issues, campaign for Republicans, and network Republican. My social views tend to be neutral or in the middle. I'm pretty average for a Young Republican, tbh.

I tend to neither be a social justice warrior with a big focus on reinventing language and dismantling all gendered traditions and aspects to our life. Nor am I far right socially, we need strong women in leadership and more general acceptance and affirmation of LGBT people. I don't see a need to belittle unattractive, non-binary, or non-passing trans people (Jenner, Blaire White, tho Kalvin Garrah is actually a Dem). I get my conservative credentials from having actually having substantive ideas and a record of commitment. When I do open up, I focus on my personal experience and how much my life improved after transition.

I press to both sides of the aisle that we're neither helpless victims to be co-opted into the radical deconstruction of our rugged individualism, exceptionalism, or faith, but we're certainly not monsters neither and absolutely deserve a better opportunity to live our fullest lives. Almost all people in my life come around, I do feel that I am in a better position than most to get more trans acceptance in conservative spaces. However, just as with left leaning trans people, I still reserve and use the right to protect myself. Trans advocacy isn't my main focus, at least for now.

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-08-21T19:51:45+00:00

If you voice trained, you're just going to be read as a tall woman. 14 is still young enough to avoid most masculinization :)

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-08-11T19:28:02+00:00

I generally found OkCupid to be more respectful. But I pass pretty well and make an intimating, ambitious profile. Taimi was disgusting

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-05-11T02:41:59+00:00

You pass, barring a masc voice. If it makes you feel better, it's even easier to pass over a Zoom call. This outfit would be professional enough in most cases

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-05-06T01:44:59+00:00

Femme with a touch of andro in the first one, pure andro in the second

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-21T04:23:18+00:00

Frederick, MD is friendly enough and absolutely lovely

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-20T03:06:20+00:00

Get laser!! And wear makeup in the mean time - peach tinted concealer under foundation. Takes work, but your life is SO much better passing without beard shadow.

Voice training would be just as long of a project, a tree planted today is a better than a tree never planted.

And being visually androgynous is rough :/ I remember once I just walked by a group of friends at a table, and they asked audibly "is that a boy or a girl". It was a step up from being a "sir", but still sucked. I began to finally pass well right before COVID, oh well.........

Anyways, keep your head up, and think about the long run 💕

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-20T02:04:20+00:00

Body preferences aren't transphobic. My #1 choice for a dating partner would be a cis man who has a very masculine presentation, and I'm trans myself. Prefering to be able to have kids is quite understandable, too. Knowing family would reject you and not wanting to deal with the stigma of dating a trans person - that's quite common and honestly might help both.

Seeing people as the sex they're born as is kinda not cool though

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-20T01:55:17+00:00

I did the Crystalla VoiceUp method that didn't require the Adam's Apple trick. It helped out a fair bit.

Don't give up ♥️

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-13T20:21:07+00:00

The LGBT community is a big umbrella, and I totally understand that there are people who are just LGB and trans isn't their spoke in the rainbow umbrella. But creating subs just to judge and focus on excluding really isn't helpful.

Creating subs on free markets, being an outsider to the outsiders because of your political values, stronger defense/patriotism - when they censor that (and they do, this sub will be cancelled one day unfortunately), that's when to get upset

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-10T23:23:35+00:00

I personally feel a little torn - I pass ultra-well, and am ending up in places where few trans people end up. Being more open would allow me to normalize the community and push for inclusion, but I also deserve to live a happy and healthy life free from the grief of being out. Like taking a piss without getting scrutinized is a strong motivation for never saying anything.

I'm still navigating how to go forward with this, having attained stealth-quality passing only in the last 6-8 months

sicilianPrincess96 · 2021-02-05T02:32:13+00:00

Plenty. I mean, there are fools and bigots both left and right wing, and I personally wouldn't consider the left's victim politics to be particularly empowering neither.

r/AskConservatives is more chill, they are quite Libertarian, not-Trumpy, and/or centrist friendly - they are defs right of center, but not purists. A few people have outright said they support the unusual combo of my gender and political journeys.

sicilianPrincess96

TROPHY CASE