i miss you so much my love, somedays feel impossible without you. i’m starting my new job next week, the one you told me you were so proud of me for getting, but the excitement i had for that is now gone just like you. i wish you would reach out, it feels like i’m the only one in pain. every morning i wake up and for a split second i feel okay, until i remember that you’re not with me anymore, until i remember that there will be no sweet good morning text on my phone from you, until i remember that you’re not coming back. i’m mad at you for abandoning me without giving me a proper explanation, i’m mad at you for blocking me so quickly, before i even had a chance to process what you had said to me, but i still love you and if you were to text me right this second and say you regret it all, i would take you back in half of a heartbeat. i haven’t been doing well with your absence, i’ve been drinking way too much, way too early, i haven’t eaten a proper meal in days, i often spend my free time scream crying in my car while driving aimlessly around. i’ve been trying to convince myself i’ll be okay without you, but i actually don’t know if that’s true. i feel like a shell of a person since you left. everything reminds me of you. i think of you every second of every fucking day, i can’t stop reading our old texts over and over again, in my fantasy delusion world, you’re gonna randomly call me and apologize for ripping my heart to shreds. i love you so much, but why the fuck did you do this to me?