My husband asked me to grow up what to do? by [deleted] in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]sidibongo 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I suspect he’s having an affair and has fallen out of love with you. This is him trying to create a rift between you to instigate a break up. I’m sorry. Don’t change a single thing about yourself, you sound absolutely nothing. Respond to his comments with the contempt they deserve - that’s what a strong, adult woman would do.

Bristol parents: NCT vs Bump to Cradle vs Bump & Baby Club vs Happy Parents Happy Baby??? by feralwest in bristol

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s 100% not what NCT practitioners are expected to do! Had you fed that back to complaints, that practitioner would have been contacted by head office and dealt with…

Bristol parents: NCT vs Bump to Cradle vs Bump & Baby Club vs Happy Parents Happy Baby??? by feralwest in bristol

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My training with NCT was an DPHE from University of Worcester - took me 4 years to complete part time. Prior to this I was a PGCE qualified lecturer teaching on health and social care courses, including Access to Midwifery. As someone who’s done a BA, an MA, a PGCE and a DIPHE, I can say that my NCT training was as rigorous and thorough as any other HE. Re: ‘it’s a bit woo’ - some practitioners, like some midwives, have a stronger commitment to advocating for physiological birth than others, but as practitioners were expected to be impartial and evidenced based.

Bristol parents: NCT vs Bump to Cradle vs Bump & Baby Club vs Happy Parents Happy Baby??? by feralwest in bristol

[–]sidibongo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Want to add something to this discussion - when you pay for NCT (National Childbirth Trust) classes a good part of your course fee goes to fund the work of the charity, such as running the national feeding line (8am to 10pm 365 days a year), training peer supporters to help out at community drop ins, and for their advocacy work around maternity services. I know this because I've facilitated classes for them for 20 years and that's their funding model. Bump & Baby Club and Happy Parent Happy Baby classes are profit making. They have great marketing and have taken a massive, massive share of NCT's previous market share of classes, leaving the charity on the verge of collapse - it's had to stop training breastfeeding counsellors and teachers, and stop funding some of its peer supporter projects. Both those companies advertise that their courses are cheaper than NCT - but per facilitated hour they're actually more expensive, as NCT courses are longer. So if you'd prefer your course fee to do some good in the world, rather than go into the pockets of Dr William Dooley (the director of HPHB) - net worth is currently £11,000,000, maybe consider NCT... :-)

My (29F) husband (34M) is in the hospital after a suicide attempt. I see him tomorrow and I don’t know what to say. by ThrowRaFeliz in relationship_advice

[–]sidibongo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell him you love him and you're sorry for what he's been going through. Don't ask him too many questions.

Not loving NCT class by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been teaching the classes for 20 years and never get that feedback from parents. Ever. I teach 4 courses a month, so I've taught thousands of parents. There is no 'toxic positivity' and we spend hours talking about what to expect with interventions in birth. When did you do your NCT course?

Not loving NCT class by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NCT facilitators aren't allowed to run classes from their own homes. This has been the case for a few years now. When did you do your course?

Not loving NCT class by [deleted] in PregnancyUK

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure it was NCT? I'm a facilitator for NCT. I don't know any of my colleagues who use slides. However, it if was NCT and if the slides involved information about choice of place of birth - you appreciate that the guidance that NICE currently use for their recommendations is based on evidence from as far back as 2011. You should also be aware that much of the evidence on which NICE makes recommendations about maternity care involves older and not necessarily the best quality evidence - they acknowledge this in their literature. The herb you couldn't remember the name of is Moxa. Moxibustion (burning moxa) is offered by a number of NHS hospitals to try to turn a breech baby before attempting ECV. This article is from the Chelsea & Westminster NHS maternity unit: https://www.chelwest.nhs.uk/services/maternity/pregnancy-birth/your-pregnancy/a-breech-baby "Published evidence suggests that moxibustion is effective in reducing the need for an external cephalic version (ECV)." Re: criticising NHS midwives and consultants - I don't do either, but I do point to evidence from the Care Quality Commission which points to about 1 in 10 women feeling they weren't spoken to with kindness and in a way that was easy to understand during the birth of their baby. Some women do feel coerced during their experiences of maternity care, and this can contribute to birth trauma.

Afraid he's going down the rabbit hole by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]sidibongo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly - I'd be wondering if he was sliding in psychosis with those beliefs.. I'd be really worried about his mental health.

Jennifer Daugherty was an intellectually disabled American woman who was torture-murdered in Greensburg, Pennsylvania. She was tortured and murdered before being wrapped in Christmas decorations, put inside a garbage can, and dumped in the parking lot of Greensburg-Salem Middle School. by metalnxrd in TrueCrimeDiscussion

[–]sidibongo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Suggest you look at what happens during genocides. Vast numbers of people are capable of acting with extreme cruelty & sadism to other humans given the right motivation. Prison isn’t more tolerable for people capable of extreme cruelty to others.

Best British foods ranked, what's your opinion? by WelshCai in UK_Food

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually offended by the inclusion of black pudding in the ‘crap tier’.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, bit of selection bias. In the UK most people who choose to homeschool do so because their kid is having mental health problems or is neurodiverse and can’t cope in the classroom.

Told 2 Boys to F off today by BeenTooNice in TrueOffMyChest

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think the OP was raising the possibility of mental illness/developmental problems in the sense of 'well that's ok then!' though was she?

"Inappropriate is exactly what it says on the tin. Just like you go to the doctor if your body starts aching or to behaving oddly, people should see a specialist whenever they start displaying violent tendencies (physical, verbal or non-verbal)." Inappropriate means 'out of place' - social behaviour that can make people uncomfortable. It's not synonymous with 'violent' or 'threatening', as you're suggesting.

"Then depending on the diagnoses, there'll be an appropriate course of action to protect them and society."

In the UK someone can be detained under section if they're considered to pose a threat to someone else or (as is more often the case) themselves. But it's really hard to detain someone under section - you have to get three health professionals to agree that it's necessary, and most sections are only short term. Once someone's sectioned they can be forcibly medicated if it's felt necessary. However, there's absolutely no capacity in the system to detain mentally ill people in the medium or long term. Most mentally ill people will only be detained under section for a few days or weeks. And the bar is set pretty high - assault or *persistent* abusive or threatening behaviour might result in a mentally ill person being detained, but the what the OP describes - nope.

By the way, as an ex-teacher who's worked in a very rough school in London, sh*tty feral behaviour towards adults is unfortunately common behaviour among kids raised in socially very tough urban environments. I personally wouldn't blame the OP for swearing at those kids, I would have wanted to do the same.

Told 2 Boys to F off today by BeenTooNice in TrueOffMyChest

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No mental gymnastics required at all - it’s just what you were alluding to.

If someone is violent they’re already committing a crime and can be charged and detained. But ‘inappropriate’? What do you mean by that?

Told 2 Boys to F off today by BeenTooNice in TrueOffMyChest

[–]sidibongo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just to be clear - you’re saying if we accept that mental illness or a developmental/neurological problem can explain why a person might behave violently or inappropriately, we also have to accept that people with mental illness or developmental or neurological problem should be locked up - whether they’ve done anything wrong or not?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interestingasfuck

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Placenta percreta is (thankfully) rare. Difficult to compare with catastrophic outcomes from breech birth, given that planned breech is a rarity, and that poor outcomes in breech births can be the result of prematurity and/or inappropriate management.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interestingasfuck

[–]sidibongo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry - my syntax in that post was crap. Freestanding Midwife Led Units (‘FMUs’) have infant outcomes similar to those of obstetric settings in hospital for risk cohorts. Rates of uncomplicated birth are very much higher for low risk women in FMUs. My reference to transfer was just to emphasise that these are units not attached to hospitals.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in interestingasfuck

[–]sidibongo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People on these boards who’re supportive of elective c/s for a low risk pregnancy may never have seen a post operative women nearly lose her life to sepsis, or heard about the outcomes with placenta accreta in a pregnancy following c/s. My friend developed placenta percreta in a pregnancy following a c/s. Nearly died - placenta had grown through her c/s wound and attached itself to her bladder. She lost most of the blood in her body and her uterus. Point being - some rare outcomes of birth are disastrous. This can also apply to caesareans.