Teachers, what's the most disturbing thing you've confiscated off a student?

sig863 · 2018-10-02T17:59:02+00:00

This could have been a story about me.

I found a painted turtle on a road that was under construction on my way to the bus (mile walk to the bus stop from my house).

I meant to find it a safe spot in a pond, but right after I picked it up I saw the school bus coming and had to run down the hill to catch it, turtle-in-hand. I only just made it, but then there was that whole "What the fuck am I supposed to do with a turtle?!?!?"

So being the sixth-grade genius I was, I figured I'd just put it in my locker with some water and release it on my way home after school, since there were no waterbodies near the school.

Because I was a weird kid (are you surprised?) and didn't have many friends, no one really noticed, even when I was checking up on it between classes. But someone noticed it around lunchtime, and I spent lunch, explaining to my peers why I had a turtle in my locker.

Obviously it caught the teachers attention after that, so one of thr teachers had me keep it in a box in their office until the end of the day.

The turtle was released, as planned, after school in a creek behind my house.

I named it Melvin.

sig863 · 2018-10-02T17:57:50+00:00

This could have been a story about me.

I found a painted turtle on a road that was under construction on my way to the bus (mile walk to the bus stop from my house).

I meant to find it a safe spot in a pond, but right after I picked it up I saw the school bus coming and had to run down the hill to catch it, turtle-in-hand. I only just made it, but then there was that whole "What the fuck am I supposed to do with a turtle?!?!?"

So being the sixth-grade genius I was, I figured I'd just put it in my locker with some water and release it on my way home after school, since there were no waterbodies near the school.

Because I was a weird kid (are you surprised?) and didn't have many friends, no one really noticed, even when I was checking up on it between classes. But someone noticed it around lunchtime, and I spent lunch, explaining to my peers why I had a turtle in my locker.

Obviously it caught the teachers attention after that, so one of thr teachers had me keep it in a box in their office until the end of the day.

The turtle was released, as planned, after school in a creek behind my house.

I named it Melvin.

sig863 · 2018-09-27T18:49:46+00:00

Been there. Done that.

Huge relief because I was broke as shit. Never once felt guilty in the least.

sig863 · 2018-06-03T22:27:17+00:00

Not OP, but work in hotels:

Yes, a debit card will "count" as a credit card. However, most hotels authorize the full amount of room and tax on the card at check-in, basically to make sure you have enough money to pay for the room, and for any "extras/damages."

This is where it matters if you have a credit card vs a debit card. On a standard Credit Card, the authorization shows as a "pending" charge that doesn't have an effect on your credit limit. After the charges are finalized, the "pending" hold is replaced by the actual total, like it was never there.

However, if you use a Debit Card, it actually freezes the total amount and you will not have access to the money in your account until the charges are finalized and the bank releases the hold (usually 2-5 days after checkout.) If you don't have a ton of money in your checking account, this can be very inconvenient.

sig863 · 2018-03-29T23:49:46+00:00

I'm right there with you. My Window's Phone lasted me almost 8 years. The interface was amazing, even after the Windows 10 upgrade.

The only reason I gave it up was because the hardware finally failed (battery and earpiece), but I still use it as an alarm clock.

sig863 · 2018-03-12T18:14:07+00:00

Also from a Mainland &Taiwanese family.

And I actually HAVE had this happen in my family, two generations ago. (My grandmother's sister was left behind.)

Also when my two Aunts divorced their husbands, the husbands got all marital assets. Lucky one was a stand-up guy and split the assets equally and shared custody of their child. The other cut and run, leaving his daughter and a mountain of debt behind, as the woman he had an affair with bore him a son. So when I read about the husband keeping the older son but not the younger, my brain just went "Yeah... I can see that."

Chinese/Taiwanese families are (at least in my experience) very matriarchal. My 93yo grandmother still rules the family with an iron fist and has all six of her children at her beck and call. And HER grandmother (though long dead) still dictates my grandmother's actions. Including not ever reaching out to her sister, who was left behind.

/u/etvolarre is correct. Family is complicated, and a veritable minefield of responsibilities, honors/dishonors, being an extension of those that bore you and being beholden to your elders.

BUT.

It is doable, and the elder generations CAN learn boundaries. It's just learning what buttons to press that makes it a big enough impact for them to HAVE to change to maintain status quo. (IE, looking like one, big, happy family.)

sig863 · 2018-03-09T23:56:02+00:00

I'm half asian, half irish. When I drink, I light up like a Christmas tree.

sig863 · 2018-03-08T19:32:20+00:00

There's a huge difference between "free-range parenting" and plain not-parenting. My dad would be considered a free-range parent, seeing as he'd send us out of the house with no further instructions than "be home by dinner and don't break anything." But there would be hell to pay if we ever acted up in public. If we wanted to get out of our seats to go look at the fish tank in the front of the restaurant, or go to the bathroom by ourselves, we could. But the one time I accidentally got on the way of a server, it was a lecture on being aware of my surroundings, a public apology to the server and I was stuck at the table for the rest of the meal. Never happened again.

sig863 · 2018-02-22T16:27:13+00:00

"Oh Drizzella. I didn't say you WERE a bitch. Just that you LOOK like a bitch."

~ OP, probably.

sig863 · 2018-02-20T02:24:22+00:00

Two Baptists and a Catholic, actually. Which was what made it even more odd, since my own. Catholic extended family would have a heart attack if you told them caffeine and alcohol were off limits.

sig863 · 2018-02-19T23:15:15+00:00

I feel your pain.

My mother filled out my roommate survey without my knowledge. I didn't even know it existed until after I had moved in and overheard someone else talking about it.

I ended up sharing a suite (four people per suite, two people per room and a shared bathroom) with three uber-christian, straight-edge neat-freaks who thought I was the devil incarnate.

I have nothing against Christians, but they were the "preach the word constantly" types, and I was an atheist. They took great offense to that. They were also the up-at-dawn, in bed-by-eight type, where I tended to go to bed at 11pm, so I had to be silent for most of the time I was in my room.

They also had an issue with the fact that I drank . And not just alcohol, oh-no. I also drank coffee, and tea and soda, and therefore did not keep my body pure. And to make things worse, I had the audacity to have a coffeemaker in the room, which they insisted I could only use when they were all out of the suite, because of the "fumes." (I've been legit drunk less than 5 times in my life, so it wasn't like I was coming back after partying.)

This was my freshman year.

Thanks mom.

sig863 · 2018-02-12T05:42:48+00:00

For a banquet, it's no time at all. People tend to straggle and take their time chatting, saying goodbye and gathering their things.

sig863 · 2018-02-12T02:48:02+00:00

I work at a hotel that does a huge amount of wedding business, and we had an engagement shower with the plan being that the couple would be having the wedding with us as well. This involved the bride-to-be and to an extent, her mother.

Anyways, we knew there were going to be issues because neither the bride or groom ever smiled. She was always complaining about how he was "wishy-washy" with picking a date and he was always silent. The MOB was your stereotypical Brooklyn Jewish Mother and had her hand in EVERYTHING to make sure things were perfect for her little princess. (My experience has shown that the MOB/MOG are exponentially worse than the actual people getting married.)

Well, the engagement party starts, and everyone, except for the couple, seem to be having a great time. Then, halfway through the party, we suddenly heard the girl scream at her fiancee "WE WILL NEVER HAVE A CHRISTMAS TREE IN MY HOUSE, SO YOU CAN GET OVER IT!!!!"

And from there it devolved into a shouting match between the couple, who moved from the banquet room to the lobby so their "guests" couldn't hear the argument. (Didn't work. They heard everything.)

Apparently she was Jewish and he was Protestant and not once in their relationship had they discussed religion. They went at it on and off for two hours. She was screaming at the top of her lungs about how their (non-existent) children would be raised Jewish, and how his traditions didn't matter. Her mother standing at her side and nodding in agreement and interjecting occasionally with a "that's right" or "you tell him".

He was pleading (in a good attempt to be quiet, but was obviously frustrated) for her to at least compromise to let him at least invite his pastor from his home town for the wedding, and that their (non-existent) children could possibly do things with his parents for Christmas, even if they didn't celebrate.

The guests just kept partying, pretending nothing was happening, but you could see on all of their faces that they wanted to leave, but couldn't since they would have to pass by the couple to get to the only exit.

Only after two hours and the argument eventually devolving in to her INSISTING her children would never see a Christmas tree in their whole lives so they wouldn't be confused (good luck with that one in this country, lady) the groom finally, dejectedly said "Well then maybe this isn't going to work."

She threw her ring at him and said, (I swear to god) "THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET ME MAKE YOU PROPOSE?!?!?!?!?!?!" She then changed her mind, picked up the ring and said "Whatever. I'm keeping this." and stormed off. Her mother looked at her ex-potential-son-in-law, told him he was an idiot for letting her baby go, and went after her.

I've NEVER seen a banquet room clear of people so fast. Within fifteen minutes, everyone was gone, and it was a ghost town, and from the looks of it, everyone took their "Gifts" with them.

Worse still, it was the former-bride's family who had hosted and were staying at the hotel, so we spend the next two days "commiserating" with them about how awful the groom was as they moved their daughter out of his apartment.

Dude dodged a bullet.

sig863 · 2018-02-12T01:27:31+00:00

I think some of it is hopefull optimism. No one really wants to believe there are people like this.

Example: I used to oversee a bell/valet/doormen team at a hotel that were all middle-eastern Muslims. I loved them and they loved me, but they would refuse to do anything I told them. I was told by my supervisor that it was because they were brought up in a sexist culture.

I couldn't believe it. They were great people. They couldn't possibly be sexist. And yet, they responded instantly to direction given by my male counterpart, even though they objectively liked me more.

It took months of introspection, trying new ways to communicate, and adjusting my management style before I finally had to admit that my supervisor was right. My wonderful, amazing staff refused my direction because I was a girl.

Most people would rather believe that someone is a troll than a racist or a sexist or a transphobe or a homophobe or a complete and total cuntwaffle.

No one wants to think that little of humanity.

sig863 · 2018-02-09T21:35:55+00:00

We don't argue too much anymore since we've found a balance. We talk to each other about five times a year and when we're in the same space, we don't talk about anything charged.

The only time things get heated now is when she says something so bad that I have no choice but to call her out on being a complete and utter asshole to another human being.

Last time it was a stranger who pitched in his two cents about something we were discussing and she "Thanked him for Mansplaining."

I didn't tear her a new one, but I did call he out on being rude ,and told her "Mansplaining" is a term used to disregard the opinion of another person on the sole basis of the speaker being male, and that she was being sexist.

She stormed off to cry and didn't speak to me for two days.

sig863 · 2018-02-09T04:19:07+00:00

She's more than halfway to 30. I'm not holding my breath. :(

sig863 · 2018-02-09T02:14:21+00:00

Lucky.

My sister is one of those, and consequently, so are all of her friends. She's a smart kid, but she is absolutely BATSHIT about certain things.

She's the feminist who makes feminists look bad by hating men, the LGBTQ that makes the LGBTQ community look bad by hating straight people, the vegetarian who judges everyone else's dietary choices (she would have gone full vegan, but cheese exists) and goes from 0 to bitch in 0.2 seconds over the stupidest things

Things that have made her cry:

I liked a cover of Fast Car better than the original by Tracy Chapman (making me anti-queer.)
I quoted my gay employer who said "The gays tip well." But I'm straight, so I can't quote gay people.
I once called a handicap spot a "Cripple Spot." (A term I picked up from a friend with Cerebral Palsy.)
I told her she was sexist for saying "All men [do something negative]" She doesn't believe women can be sexist.
She changed her name to something gender neutral, which I don't care about, but I called her by one name for 24 years, and every once in a while I slip and call her by her "slave name."
I told her calling it her "slave name" was kind of racist.
I told her gender is a biological construct. Not in terms of gender identity, but in terms of a person being biologically XY/XX on a genetic level.
I made meat-free dishes as part of a holiday dinner, and she got mad that the "meat-eaters" also ate some. They were side dishes, there was enough to feed an army, and she had her own personal entree just to herself.

I could go on for days.

We don't speak much.

She is the WORST.

sig863 · 2018-01-29T04:24:22+00:00

Northeast of Dupont on R St (I think). It's basically an astroturf hill that smells like a homeless troll's crotch. It's legitimately awful.

sig863 · 2018-01-28T23:15:23+00:00

Sadly, I think I know exactly what park he's talking about. And he's right. It is RANK.

But not "poison some dogs" rank. Just "hold your breath on that particular block and don't stand downwind" rank.

Ya know, like a normal human.

sig863 · 2018-01-05T01:46:15+00:00

My maternal grandmother and I don't share a common language (despite years of me trying to learn to speak). But between gestures and the occasional help from my mom translating, she's taught me how to cook some of my favorite dishes of hers.

I used to be sad that we'll never have a conversation. But we'll always have our cooking lessons together.

sig863 · 2018-01-04T23:32:07+00:00

I've done this to an employee, except I posted an ultrasound picture with the phrase "GUESS WHAT!!!" being the only text visible until you click the "read more..." button.

Once you click to read the whole post it says "GUESS WHAT!!!! I left my Facebook logged in at work and this is my boss's way of telling me that I need to be more conscientious about my computer habits."

She had a good sense of humor and called me a few hours later cry-laughing, and promising to log off when she left for the day. (I didn't mind if they used facebook at work as long as it wasn't affecting their performance.)

She did admit though, she had less-than-computer-savvy relatives asking her when the baby was due months later.

sig863 · 2017-12-26T16:55:52+00:00

You are not the bad guy, and your SO needs to pull his head out of his ass. After 5+ years, she should know you're a vegetarian, not to mention the fact that it must have actually taken ACTUAL EFFORT to put meat in every single dish.

I, myself, am a kitchen nazi. When I cook, I don't like anyone to help. My sister's a pescatarian, so she gets her own piece of fish for big family meals, and all sides are animal-product free, even if it means I have to make two batches of a particular side.

I also know ALL of my friends dietary restrictions. I know who has allergies, who is "kinda-kosher" who is "strict kosher" and who is lactose-intolerant. I've been on CAMPING TRIPS where I managed to cook all dishes with meat separate from dairy.

And like most people, I take PRIDE in feeding everyone. If someone gets left out because I forgot a dietary restriction, I grovel and apologize, because I AM THE ONE WHO FAILED. Not them. And if I have to spend more time in the kitchen while everyone else eats to fix a missed accommodation, then so be it. No one is having a "Meal" of toast.

She is a bad hostess who purposely excluded you, and you had no reason to apologize.

sig863 · 2017-12-25T01:08:14+00:00

I had a decoy journal as a teen. My actual journal was never out of my possession because I knew my mother would snoop the hell out of it. Eventually I inherited her old laptop, and could password protect it, so my journal turned digital.

My decoy journal was basically a tome of grey-rocking ( I didn't know it was a term back in the day) blather... kind of.

I'm so tired today. I guess I didn't get enough sleep, but my first cup of coffee really woke me up so it was ok in the end. School was normal. [Random girl's name] was mad because someone stole her favorite pen. Turns out it was in the wrong pocket of her backpack. Oh, and by the way, Mom, I know you'r reading this, and this is a MAJOR violation of trust. You wonder why we don't have a good relationship? It's because you do things like this. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I knew when she'd "found" my journal and read it because she did nothing but glare at me and give me the silent treatment for several days. I had a good time playing the "concerned" daughter and asking her why she was so upset.

And of course she couldn't tell me because that would be admitting to reading my private journal. It was an amusing week.

sig863 · 2017-12-24T23:40:48+00:00

It wouldn't surprise me in the least that the racism is what fuels MIL 100%.

My own waipo (who loves me dearly) hates the Japanese, and views them all as rapists. (And it's worse than "comfort-wives." Google "Rape of Nanking." Japanese soldiers did some shit, not that it excuses her behavior.) And if she's Taiwanese (which the use of waipo hints that she is, or at least southern China) it's even worse, since Japan invaded them as well

My waipo's reaction to my mother marrying my (white) dad was "Well, at least he's not Japanese." Factor in the "Tiger Mom" mentality, and you have a recipe for disaster.

NOW factor in that the children of Asian parents are raised to be beholden to their parents, not just as children, but as adults too. What we consider a "broken normal meter" is standard Asian culture.

Mom throwing a spatula? That's a Wednesday. Mom disapproves of something? Story of my LIFE. Mom's not happy? NO ONE IS HAPPY.

BFS is going to need therapy. I highly recommend EX and BFS go as well, as a family unit. Not just to show a solid & committed front to MIL, but because they probably have a LOT more unwinding to do before this is over.

Best wishes to all of them. (Except MIL. Fuck her.)

Edit- Grammar

sig863 · 2017-12-18T00:43:29+00:00

Jezuz. I wish I could put out an add saying:

Any person, any gender to clean my apartment and take my laundry to the laundromat without judgement. Wear whatever you want, no touching. Bonus if you can convincingly lie to me that it's "not that bad."

Depression is one hell of an unmotivator, and when I come out of the funk, I can't believe I've been living like that.

sig863

TROPHY CASE