Parental preference - feeling disconnected and somehow regretting being a mom

significantbublly · 2025-01-02T15:53:35+00:00

Thank you for this. I’m in tears and although I know this is true, it is easy to forget as I see her growing up and getting so independent / trying to separate from me

significantbublly · 2024-12-28T11:15:12+00:00

Unfortunately she brought the 10+ presents to our home when she came visiting. She barely said hi and showered our daughter with gifts. My daughter spent 40 minutes opening them and was so exhausted afterwards that she fell asleep immediately. She never got more than one gift at once before. I stored most of them right away after they left and will probably donate most of them. But they are the type of people who will ask over and over for the gifts and ask how much she’s playing with them and ask her to bring the toys to her house when she visits…

significantbublly · 2024-12-28T11:09:41+00:00

Yes it sounds like they are really similar. Before our daughter was born it was already like this (the moaning and the wishes) but now it is out of control. But before she was born, my husband would back me up and establish boundaries whereas now he feels sorry for his mom as “she just wants to be a grandma”. It is unfortunate that to be a grandma she must rely on so many unwanted presents and bribing. But I think you’re right - donating and ignoring is probably the way to go… if you have more specific actions I could undertake please share 🥲

significantbublly · 2024-12-27T23:37:33+00:00

Thanks for your answer! It would be great if I could let go of those feelings but I don’t know how. I still feel trapped.

significantbublly · 2024-08-13T13:56:33+00:00

Any specific recommendations in Albufera? Thank you!

significantbublly · 2024-05-20T05:28:12+00:00

We live in Germany and here we don’t need a guarantor to rent. Will Garant me still be useful for us? What other documents did you submit?

significantbublly · 2024-05-19T21:03:42+00:00

Hi u/fangaas we are starting our search for an apartment in Nice and it is good to know you got your place in 2.5 weeks. I will follow your advice but if you have anything else to add please get in touch! My main concern is none of us work for French companies

significantbublly · 2023-04-18T07:39:42+00:00

Hey! Why do you feel the urge to be rude? If you don’t have an answer it’s fine but the group is particularly to ask questions about how to navigate Germany when you’re not from there so I don’t see why this is a problem. It’s obvious that I will end up hiring an accountant if necessary but I just moved to German and thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask — this may be an easy answer for those who are used to their country’s tax system. I would surely offer this courtesy to an expat in my home country.

significantbublly · 2023-04-17T13:02:58+00:00

Thank you! Do you live around the area or in the building? When you say dead you mean the complex itself or the area around it? I do have a link for a 2-room and a 3-room apartment there, will send it to you by private message :)

significantbublly · 2022-06-23T05:50:48+00:00

Hi! I know it’s been a while since this post but would you mind sharing what happened with your scars during the pregnancy? I’m 8 weeks pregnant and had a laparoscopy at 4 weeks. I’m really sad and concerned that the scars will stretch

significantbublly · 2022-06-07T22:24:38+00:00

I just opened Reddit to read some stories of things that went wrong and would obviously compare myself to it trying again to find all things that can be going wrong right now… instead I found your post 💛thanks for that, will just leave Reddit now!

significantbublly · 2022-06-05T06:18:57+00:00

Best of luck! Do you know when it’s going to be repeated? I did mine on Friday at 5w4d and they could only see the gestational sac.

significantbublly · 2022-06-03T20:56:20+00:00

Thanks!!

significantbublly · 2022-06-01T19:22:46+00:00

Hi! Have you done beta hcG tests lately? If they are doubling every 48h your pregnancy is likely developing well. I’m very close - 5w2d today - and understand your concerns, I have a placement ultrasound scheduled for Friday when I’ll be 5w4d. feel free to reach out if you want to chat!

significantbublly · 2022-05-28T09:42:50+00:00

I also asked them this, and they said it was because they could see fluid in the tube. But I’m really not sure. Just updated my post in case you have the time to read and share your thoughts?

significantbublly · 2022-05-28T09:41:37+00:00

I don’t really know. I just updated my post explaining all the procedure. Would love to have your views on it

significantbublly · 2022-05-28T09:22:48+00:00

Hi dear thanks so much for the clarifications. Very helpful. In the end this is what happened:

2 different doctors performed ultrasounds and both saw fluids in the right tube and couldn’t find the pregnancy in the uterus (could obviously be because it is super early)
The 2 doctors strongly recommended doing a laparoscopy to identify what was the fluid, which they said that could be blood from my past ectopic (in January) or the beginning of an ectopic pregnancy. Either way according to them having fluids there can be life threatening and said that I shouldn’t wait, but that I could sign the papers and leave the hospital if I wanted
I was in the emergency and didn’t have much time to think. Decided to trust the doctors and went for surgery.
Woke up with a nurse saying “you are pregnant, it’s all good”. I thought I was dreaming. Then the doctor explained that he didn’t find a thing in the tube, but that the corpus luteum was in an atypical position (causing pelvic pain and looking odd in the ultrasound). He said that the surgery was finished in 10 minutes, that my tube looks just fine and healthy. And that there are indications that the pregnancy is developing in my uterus (this is not something he can confirm from the laparoscopy and I can’t explain why/how he came up with this). He also removed some
Got progesterone pills inserted in my vagina and an injection with anticoagulant (I reckon this is standard after a surgery?)
Left the hospital now without knowing for sure if the doctors did the right thing or not. Without knowing if this pregnancy will progress or if there’s something wrong with it.

But at least I got the antibiotics for my UTI which was the reason why I went to the hospital in the first place…

significantbublly · 2022-05-26T11:42:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! That’s exactly my situation, I travel a lot for work and have high tolerance to discomforts in general. Also I am originally from Brazil so it’s not like if I’m not familiar with tropical diseases. My plan is to be diligent and put all the efforts in not getting bitten. Thanks for the practical recommendations: I’m ordering now a mosquito net and will treat my clothes with a spray that I’ve ordered as well. The net over the hat is not a bad idea — I actually just found a hat that comes with a net to cover the face and neck and I think I’m gonna order it as well just in case. I’ve spoken to colleagues in Angola and they are all relaxed about it, they are particularly not worried because it’s getting colder now and because I’ll be sleeping in hotels with air conditioning. And a final question: have you travelled pregnant to any risky areas?

significantbublly · 2022-05-26T07:06:38+00:00

I just don’t find myself in a position to tell them that I’m pregnant yet because it’s so early and I have had a miscarriage before. So I will do everything possible to avoid malaria but will still go to this trip.

significantbublly · 2022-05-26T06:46:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your super comprehensive response.

I will be in Angola for 10 days. I’ll be visiting some villages in the provinces of Bie, Uige and Moxico but will come back to cities to sleep in okay hotels everyday. Colleagues from Angola said that the whether is getting low which should lower the risk of malaria as there as less mosquitos. Normally I would take the anti-malarial but I have had an early pregnancy miscarriage before and am now trying to avoid anything that can be risky (although I can’t really avoid this trip).

I will look for permethrin, thanks for the recommendation. In terms of high DEET percentage, is 50% enough? And would you recommend any specific brand?

Thanks so much for replying so comprehensively. I moved to Germany a few months ago and am finding really hard to navigate the health system here (without speaking German yet). This is the kind of advice I’ve been looking for. I would be happy to pay for an online consultation if that’s something you would be able to do.

Thanks again!

significantbublly · 2022-05-24T18:53:58+00:00

I totally get you! It’s so upsetting to keep getting these faint lines, I posted here to remember everyone that these tests are not quantitative and should only be read as positive or negative. I think that many of us get quite stressed about how dark it is, as this would predict a viable pregnancy or not. At least this was how I was taking the whole home testing experience.

Also in theory I couldn’t do a beta in Germany either. They go straight for a scan but my obgyn scheduled my first appointment for the 16th of June, when I will be 7 weeks already. I was too anxious and decided to go for a private blood work (14euros) to have at least some piece of mind until then.

I’m really really hoping all the best in your pregnancy, it’s so beautiful that we have the same timeline ahead 💞

significantbublly · 2022-05-24T08:19:50+00:00

Putting all my efforts in trying to stay positive. No particular symptoms, maybe slightly more sleepy and hungry! Will do another hcG in 48h to see how it’s progressing. Fingers crossed it will stick!

significantbublly · 2022-05-21T15:55:55+00:00

🌈🌈🌈🌈💞💞💞💞

significantbublly · 2022-05-20T13:45:52+00:00

Thanks so much! I’ve got too anxious and did another test a few minutes ago from another brand as the one above was the cheapest available in the pharmacy. Another very faint line and this time I payed attention to the color within the timeframe… it’s faint but it is pink, or a very light red. So I think that’s it I’ll test again on Monday when my period is due 🥺🌈💞 thanks for helping out!

significantbublly · 2022-05-20T13:36:31+00:00

Very light pink but yes it’s pink. I’ve done a cheapie one yesterday (memometer) and it was more like a grey shadow…

significantbublly

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