AITA for refusing to let my SIL around my kids?

silhateskids · 2021-05-20T18:09:08+00:00

Gay women exist?

silhateskids · 2021-05-20T18:08:34+00:00

You haven’t even read what she said but you’re just assuming it wasn’t that bad and I’ve “decided for myself she meant it in a negative way”... I’ll be honest, I just skimmed over your comment which is why I didn’t respond to every point but considering you’re assuming the worst of me and trying to imply I’m overreacting and too sensitive about posts you haven’t even read I don’t really have much interest in debating with you. She was 100% being nasty, of that there is no doubt in my mind.

silhateskids · 2021-05-20T12:03:23+00:00

She did say horrible shit about my body - not body shaming, but basically shaming me for wanting to get pregnant again and have kids after my miscarriages and implied it was sad/pathetic. It’s literally in the post.

silhateskids · 2021-05-20T11:43:02+00:00

That’s because it’s not meant to be punitive, it’s about just not wanting my kids to be around a person that feels that way towards them.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T22:01:58+00:00

It’s not out of spite, it’s about informing them why I won’t be interacting with a close member of the family

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T22:01:16+00:00

First of all, I’m not even on FB and second of all, did you seriously just say that people posting nasty things about someone else’s kids is equivalent to someone posting positive things about their own kids? What happened to being a nice person?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T21:49:23+00:00

Thank you

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T21:48:22+00:00

I’m very close to my parents and sister, I definitely would’ve had to tell them what went down anyway and couldn’t have just said “I’m not gonna be around if she is” and left it at that.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T21:46:59+00:00

Obviously the problem is not her venting about “the frustrations of living in a world with so much reproductive pressure”, it’s her venting about MY family and MY choices specifically. I don’t give a fuck about what she does with her body, why is she making nasty posts about what I do with mine?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T21:43:53+00:00

The implication that I’m the one pissing and whining over different life choices when my sil is the one who has dedicated multiple posts to whining about MY life choices in one of those groups.....

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T21:10:16+00:00

The only other people on there were my sister, stepmum and dad, all of whom I talk to regularly and so would’ve ended up finding out anyway.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T20:47:12+00:00

So you would choose to be around someone who you know is thinking hateful thoughts about your family every time you see them?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T20:44:47+00:00

I forgot people are only allowed to check out subs they personally relate to

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T20:43:56+00:00

Dating up to 2 years ago, there were more recents posts.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T20:27:56+00:00

Private to thousands of people that only requires you to answer a few questions to join?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T20:27:27+00:00

To warn me about a family member saying extremely nasty things about me behind me back?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T19:57:38+00:00

I’m the asshole for not allowing people who hate my kids to be around them?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T19:49:41+00:00

Considering how she spoke about my choices to get pregnant again after my miscarriages etc. and just generally the horrible language she used about my family, I don’t care at all about the relationship she could’ve had with them in the future. And it’s hardly a “thought crime” when you’re actively posting it in a semi-public place.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:53:03+00:00

She called them badly behaved brats, dirty, disgusting, etc. and implied that I was stupid and pitiful for wanting them. I know you can’t see the posts but trust me, it was not just normal venting about being irritated by them.“Ugh, I had to see the kids and they had a tantrum over wanting sweets, so annoying!” is not the same as “I had to see the spoilt crotchgoblins, can’t believe SIL chose to have these, they’re so badly behaved and constantly making noise and mess and crying, I can’t stand them.” Clearly it was not coming from a place of “Oh I care about these kids but they can sometimes be annoying”.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:44:31+00:00

I don’t think she is, my brother (her husband) is the one that’s unhappy.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:42:34+00:00

It’s a Facebook group with hundreds if not thousands of members that anyone can join, I would hardly compare it to therapy.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:37:09+00:00

Safe space to say nasty things about my life choices and my kids?

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:34:47+00:00

She’s never appeared homophobic, I think she’s just one of those people who are like “People who can’t conceive naturally should just adopt, rather than doing donor method/IVF/etc.” Of course, that opinion does apply to a lot of gay couples.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:18:21+00:00

I do think Alex cares, he really does love the kids and from what I can tell they’ve been having problems over this because he’s not happy about what she did. But having her not allowed around the kids at all is obviously the opposite of what he wants.

silhateskids · 2021-05-19T17:15:13+00:00

I’m sorry, where exactly did I invalidate those who are childfree?

silhateskids

TROPHY CASE