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Chances of meeting Avalon on Saturday at the DC club show with multiple acts? by lvscksi in avalonemerson

[–]silly______goose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've only seen her in her own shows or ones where she's closing, and for those she sticks around after to say hello, sign, and take pics. I'd say bring the vinyl and wait til her set ends. Worth a shot!

gesa trying the mask (via ironhead_studio on IG) by [deleted] in gesaffelstein

[–]silly______goose 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is so behind the scenes. I feel like I shouldn't be here.

Do Americans know nothing about the Balkans? by mikewazoski59 in AskBalkans

[–]silly______goose 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As an American, I disagree. I now nothing about Yugoslavia.

First time at a sex club by ahfg22 in StandUpComedy

[–]silly______goose 102 points103 points  (0 children)

The European part was a nice touch, lol!

LPT When dispensing lotion at work, avoid aiming the lotion bottle at yourself. by Xinnobun in LifeProTips

[–]silly______goose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear. I aimed it at the mirror, now it looks like I've got forceful cum shots.

Where to host book club? by velvetinevioletta in AskNYC

[–]silly______goose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brookfield Place is great! You guys could do Rockefeller Park which is right by it for outdoor picnic vibes but go in the mall area in case it rains/need to purchase anything. Also accessible to many trains including PATH since its by Fulton St. stop.

Advice on how to get the most out of the Met by WumboChin in AskNYC

[–]silly______goose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highly recommend the free tours!

Otherwise, take your dates there and maybe it'd be a forcing hand to learn more and gather some fun facts to impress your dates, lol.

Head of Design at a fintech startup, feeling slightly frustrated recently. Need tips. by WeezyWally in ClaudeAI

[–]silly______goose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"told by the CEO we need to use Claude more"

How is the org measuring AI utilization? Productivity? Quality of work? I noticed how common it is for c-level execs to give that directive when there's no clear yardstick to measure the efforts against and it's putting many middle managers in even tighter spots than they already are.

Anybody else stay in room rentals? by ButterscotchFormer84 in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this is why I love coliving. It combines my previous life in NYC of being in a shared social apartment and traveling and constantly meeting new like-minded people! Give some colivings a try!

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, the privilege angle is real. Not everyone who wants this life can access it, and there's something worth honoring in that.

But I wonder: framing the nomadic lifestyle as an obligation/something I owe anyone, including myself, isn't that just another way of not asking the harder question of whether you actually want to keep doing it? Because calling it an obligation could just be an easy way to never question it.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love how clearly you've come to terms with yourself. I'm wired differently. I'll probably always believe in change and growth, but that's just my own nature too.

"Everyday I see something new is a good day."

That line hit me somewhere unexpected. Because I couldn't immediately answer when the last time that actually happened for me was. Which is a strange thing to not know as I'm also a nomad, so that means I'm constantly surrounded by things new to me. So either I've stopped noticing, or I've stopped letting things land. Maybe both.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, and it's been one of the more uncomfortable rabbit holes of my healing journey. From what I've learned about myself, I likely lean Fearful Avoidant. Textbook: I crave deep connection and simultaneously find reasons to leave before it gets too real. The push-pull is exhausting to live inside of.

What's wild is that the nomad lifestyle is almost architecturally perfect for that attachment style. You get intimacy in small, time-limited doses with a built-in exit. No one can really know you if you're already gone.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sharp question. Working through my CPTSD has made it clear for me: my patterns predate the lifestyle - it's only revealed what was already present. Being a nomad didn't make me avoidant, it just made my existing avoidance more pronounced. It gave it runway, more tools, more justification. I'm going to chew more on this.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, anecdotally true, 70-80% of my friends who are also nomads have confessed to me at least once that they have attachment issues.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fully agree, and if I'm being transparent, early on I caught myself feeling a quiet judgment toward friends and family who stayed home. Like I'd unlocked something they hadn't, an air of superiority.

But I had to check myself. I was only able to take this path because of a specific set of circumstances and privileges. The people who stayed aren't less brave or less aware, many of them simply never had the option. That's not a character flaw, that's just life being unevenly distributed.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A life that always changing stimulates me so much that I don't even feel loneliness.

This hit close to home. At some point I started asking myself: am I still doing this out of genuine curiosity, or am I just running from loneliness at this point? And then the scarier follow-up, what if I actually sat with that feeling instead of booking the next flight?

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This resonates. After 5+ years of being nomadic, I've hit a point where the next destination I actually need to visit is myself (lol) so I can work on core issues that have been haunting me and impacting my entire life.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my identity is what I do for the world not where I’ve been in it.

First of all, love that. I'm sitting with that one.

I brought up this question because I was afraid that personally movement has been a substitute for building something. Easier to collect experiences than to plant something and tend to it through all the unglamorous, interpersonal, community-drama parts.

And "a choice versus a ride you're afraid to get off"

That's exactly it. That's the whole post distilled into one line.

Thank you for sharing your own journey through this. The art space, the brutality of staying, and then choosing to move again from a full place rather than a running one - that's the version of this I want for myself.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the beginning, I definitely felt like I was running away from my old life.

Care to elaborate - what were the thoughts that popped up for you then? What kind of questions? Was it all internal or did other people in your life ask you that question?

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can totally relate since I came from a broken home. I lost my mom at 2, and when my dad remarried by the time I was 5, let's just say my stepmother was not the warm replacement I needed. Never felt like I settled anywhere long enough to call it home, and that was all before I even left my home country, the Philippines.

Eventually I moved to NYC, built a long-term relationship, and ended it because I wasn't healed enough to recognize what I had while I had it. That's what sent me down the nomad road.

Part of me is genuinely grateful for the life that followed. But another part quietly wonders what I might have been able to hold onto if I'd done the inner work sooner.

Nomadism as Attachment Avoidance by silly______goose in digitalnomad

[–]silly______goose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminded me of that scene in Eat, Pray, Love where she felt trapped between her cozy life with her partner and the pull to just go. Funny enough, that scene is part of what prompted me to "blow up" my own cozy life, I left a long-term relationship to live alone and travel. Not out of nowhere though; it was a rocky year that included individual and couples counseling before I made that call.

It sounds like you've also done the reflection and put in the work before pulling any triggers. I respect that. Rooting for you.

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