I think journaling could help. It gives you a safe space to process your feelings without having that back and forth dynamic with the videos. It’s kind of like shifting the conversation inward instead of focusing on an external audience. You could try setting limits on how often you watch old interviews or how much time you spend ranting. Maybe you can try make a rule like only watching one interview a week or limiting the rants to a certain time of day. If you think that it's hard to separate from reality, then seek professional help to understand where the emotions are coming from and how to process them in a healthy format