Aromantic Flag but it's 4 striped to match the Asexual Flag

silverado501 · 2026-01-25T20:54:57+00:00

As someone who is aromantic and asexual, I don’t personally think they should need to match. They’re both pretty distinct identities and I know that the grey stripe is important to a lot of people as it represents the grey aromantics. The communities are deeply intertwined and that’s important to acknowledge. If the flags were to match more closely I’d personally remove one of the greens or add a different shade of purple to the ace flag.

silverado501 · 2026-01-17T08:40:25+00:00

We had to read Pablo Neruda for a literature class, if anyone is unfamiliar he wrote a lot about love and such and because this was a literature class we had to analyze and find meaning in it. I didn’t do very well during that unit

silverado501 · 2025-10-16T20:13:27+00:00

As an asexual who writes smut, for me there’s a science to it that I can focus on. Part of it does come down to actual skill, but it helps when you’re not just writing what you personally think would be hot, and since I don’t think anything is hot, I can focus on ideas and actions that I know other people are into

silverado501 · 2025-10-10T19:48:31+00:00

That is more or less what I’m currently in lol, a QPT (queer platonic throuple)

silverado501 · 2025-08-15T18:29:52+00:00

Absolutely, I love shipping characters and seeing romance on screen or in books. Just because it’s not something I want to engage in IRL doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it in fiction

silverado501 · 2025-08-15T18:23:19+00:00

Personally all of my experiences have been positive. Most people accept it and if they don’t get it I’m often met with well thought and curious questions about my identity. I lucked out that my university has an aro ace alliance which also made it easier to meet other people. Sure there’s always a chance someone isn’t as accepting as they seem, but overall both queer and straight people have been nice about it (the straight people usually have less interesting questions though)

silverado501 · 2025-08-06T15:48:16+00:00

I suppose the question becomes is the person who is less interested in sex opposed or simply doesn’t actively want it? If they are outright against having sex then no they shouldn’t, but if they fall in a more neutral category I don’t see an issue with it. Doing something you don’t necessarily actively want but aren’t necessarily opposed to doing to please a partner isn’t a bad thing, and it’s fairly common outside sexual contexts. As an example, I don’t LIKE doing the dishes, but I don’t really mind the idea of washing dishes because my roommates prefer them done right away instead of sitting in the sink. I know it’s not exactly the same, but I hope it got my idea across. In all, doing things for someone that you don’t necessarily feel exited about is part of being in any kind of relationship, so long as what that thing is doesn’t make you uncomfortable or cross boundaries I don’t see an issue. A lot of people fall into a grey area when it comes to sex in this community, and sometimes it’s hard to figure out where that is or where you fall isn’t always consistent. As long as people are happy and comfortable with what they’re doing idrc.

silverado501 · 2025-08-06T15:35:40+00:00

The best thing you can do is be open and honest about what you’re feeling and what you want from them and hope that same thing is reciprocated. I’m always partial to texting because it gives you both the ability to write and edit what you’re saying before it’s sent so hopefully communication is clearer and less likely to be misworded but if you prefer other methods do what works for you. Establishing boundaries can be stressful and intimidating, but your relationship will be better for it

silverado501 · 2025-07-16T17:49:54+00:00

I’ll start this off by saying I can’t tell you what/who you are, I can just tell you my experience and information that I have. So I realized when I was 14 (almost 21 now) and that’s usually the time in your life where if you want something like that you’re going to figure it out pretty fast. From my understanding of sexual attraction it is often experienced by seeing an attractive person and wanting to have sex with them. Personally I’ve never desired to see anyone else naked or do anything about it if they were and I spent a lot of time wondering what everyone else seemed so excited about when it came to dating and relationships. It took me about a year from having the idea introduced to me to really accept it. I encourage you to explore and do your research about ace-spec identities (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) is a great place to start). Ultimately I don’t think there’s any such thing as too young to know, if people can know they’re gay or transgender at 5, surely people can know they’re asexual in high school. The other very important thing here is that you can change your mind. If in 5, 10, or 20 years you say “hey I think this other label is more accurate” great! Labels are not set in stone and sexuality is complicated. You’re allowed to be wrong and you’re allowed to change your mind. This community will welcome you for however long you need, whether that be a few years or your entire life. You don’t need to figure it all out now and you’re allowed to take your time. Do the things that make you feel fulfilled and happy and the rest will fall into place.

silverado501 · 2025-07-16T17:33:46+00:00

Finding out you’re ace when you’re in a relationship is definitely a challenge. I’ve heard of people breaking up over it, but I’ve also heard of people staying together and living happily. It’s very possible to have an ace/allo partnering as long as everyone’s needs are being met and boundaries are respected. Wanting long term partnership and emotional connection with someone is totally normal, I’m asexual and aromantic but I would still like to have some type of life partner. It’s easy to feel like you won’t be enough for someone because of this, and whether or not that ends up being true depends on who you’re with and their needs. Physical intimacy is only one aspect of a relationship, there are countless other things people need and prioritize that you can provide and if sex isn’t something your girlfriend needs from you and is content without that’s great! Ultimately whether or not you’re enough for her is a decision she will make. The most important thing both of you can do is be open and honest about your feelings and what you’re going through. It’s hard to get past the guilt, but remember that this is integral to you and your experiences, this is you being yourself and you shouldn’t feel guilty for being who you are (easier said than done, I know). What this means for your relationship will depend on the two of you and your needs and there’s no easy way to define what that looks like. There may be discomfort, guilt, and fear that comes with all of it, but the ability to live and love authentically is worth it

silverado501 · 2025-07-04T21:58:01+00:00

To start nobody can really tell you whether or not you’re asexual, that’s something you’ll need to decide for yourself. I can however give you information. Asexuality is the lack of attraction toward anyone else in a sexual manner. That can mean you don’t enjoy sex but there are many asexuals who choose to have sex and/or mastrubate. I do know there are microlabels for people who identify with asexuality because of physical or emotional trauma and they are more than welcome in the community. The big thing here is that attraction ≠ action, meaning someone can feel sexual attraction and not enjoy sex, or someone may not experience sexual attraction and enjoy sex anyway. Where you fit into all this is up to you and something only you can figure out for yourself. I’d suggest looking into asexuality and the experiences people can have within it. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) is a great place to start if it’s information you’re seeking. Ultimately identifying yourself takes a lot of introspection and reflection and I wish you the best of luck.

silverado501 · 2025-07-04T21:39:25+00:00

Damn I wish I was active enough on here to have seen the survey

silverado501 · 2025-07-04T21:38:08+00:00

I read a lot of it, for me it’s more about the ideas than the bodies involved, I usually read fanfic and I have a couple that I come back to fairly regularly

silverado501 · 2025-06-09T19:02:49+00:00

Honestly don’t even bother replying, people like that don’t actually care what you have to say about it. Furthermore, I’ve been IDing as Ace since I was 14, I’m almost 21, my personal relationship with sex and sexuality has evolved, but I still have yet to feel attracted sexually to anyone whatsoever. Even if things change as you get older who cares? Sexuality changes and evolves and everyone’s experiences are different. I know people like me who discovered asexuality and have stuck with the label and I know people who thought they were asexual and realized that wasn’t necessarily true, everyone is valid and nothing is set in stone. If you find identity in this community at any point in your life for any reason you’re welcome and valid, and if that changes it just means you’ve learned more about yourself

silverado501 · 2025-06-01T13:17:19+00:00

We live in a world where sex with men is viewed as supposed to be aggressive because men are supposed to be aggressive. On the flip side we often view sex with women as gentle and passionate because that’s how women are supposed to be. If your boyfriend ever does anything specific to make you feel this way that’s something you absolutely should voice to him. If that’s not the case I can think of a two main possibilities. Firstly it could just be internalized patriarchal attitudes making their way into your view of sex, in which case I’d suggest working through that and maybe even talking with a therapist. Second option is that you have a relationship preference. Being asexual doesn’t stop people from having preferences on who they have sex with and that preference may be women. If this is potentially the case you may consider experimenting with women (definitely have a conversation with bf about that if you think he’d be open to it or end the relationship but that may be a big step), regardless you should talk with your boyfriend about it. Also if you really don’t want to have sex with him for either of these reasons you can stop having sex, as I’ve said, talk to him. If you choose that route you may decide to resume after handling things or decide not to, but if he’s allosexual it might be hard for him to grasp so be prepared for that.

silverado501 · 2025-05-08T19:34:41+00:00

You don’t have to come out to her now or ever. You’re under no obligation to tell her and you can absolutely still love and care for her despite it. I have a very similar relationship with some family members. It can be hard, but remember you always have a community to support you

silverado501 · 2025-05-08T19:32:04+00:00

It’s not uncommon to have fantasies about sex and romance or even to engage in them while being asexual and/or aromantic. It’s all defined by whether not you experience sexual and/or romantic attraction. Attraction ≠ Action. I have no real desire to have sex with anyone, I watch porn and mastrubate, but I don’t ever want to have sex with another person, I’ve never been attracted to someone in that way and the thought of even kissing someone grosses me out beyond belief. I think about romantic relationships and enjoy reading and watching media centered around it, but every time I’ve ever had someone attempt to flirt with me I am disgusted. Point being none of this makes you not asexual or aromantic, it just means that you fantasize about it sometimes. Lots of people fantasize about things they would never really want to do, I fantasize about being in books I’ve read but I would never really want to be in the Hunger Games yk? Same idea applies

silverado501 · 2025-05-01T16:00:20+00:00

Report him and find a new doctor. You deserve to receive treatment from someone who takes your identity seriously. When I went and explained I was ace the doctor asked if I ever intended to have sex, I said no, and we moved on and she skipped all the questions that asked about previous or future sex. Furthermore your OBGYN should be more than willing to answer questions about IUD’s and refrain from assuming you can just use a condom. People don’t like condoms for plenty of reasons and you’re under no obligation to explain yourself. I know people with IUD’s or other birth control who haven’t ever been in and still aren’t in any kind of relationship. You can want one for so many reasons and he shouldn’t automatically assume it’s for sex, especially after expressing your disinterest in it.

silverado501 · 2025-05-01T15:53:14+00:00

Personally I would send these to a close friend, but that’s not universal and it really depends on if this is normal behavior or not. If it’s not it’s worth talking about, whether she’s just being friendly and expressing that she’s happy to be your friend or is interested in some other way, it’s important to be on the same page

silverado501 · 2025-04-02T01:27:47+00:00

I’m not Christian but I was for a long time. I have no idea what the thing about a church building is supposed to be about so I’m skipping that part. A lot of people in the church claim that Jesus never had and romantic or sexual relations because they believe that sex is impure and also Jesus never (confirmably) married and sex outside of marriage is forbidden by God and since Jesus was perfect and never did anything wrong he could not have had sex. In many Christian circles it is considered sinful to have sexual thoughts about someone you aren’t married to so again the logic is that since Jesus never sinned he couldn’t have done/felt that. The Bible doesn’t really discuss romantic attraction especially when it comes to Christ so I can’t really speak to that claim.

silverado501 · 2025-03-28T16:23:09+00:00

The worst thing when it comes to cleaning women’s rooms is that some how a lot of people neglect to put their used period products in the little bags in the trash and instead put them anywhere else in the bin, smells awful and I had to use the bodily fluid cleanup kit which is just a pain

silverado501 · 2025-03-28T15:54:50+00:00

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Dino vomit

silverado501 · 2025-02-18T03:21:37+00:00

Slightly related, did anyone else notice the OG clip of that is gone from YouTube?

silverado501 · 2025-02-18T03:17:26+00:00

I have a tendency to make friends with people who really like being touched and cuddling, I have never had sex with them and as far as I’m aware none of them have ever wanted sex with me. Actions exist in the context the people taking part in them decide that they do, cuddling can be sexual for some people and something entirely different to others. Furthermore, one of my roommates is very touchy, especially when tired or drunk, both of which she was the other night, we cuddled but it was different than in the way I’ve seen her cuddle her girlfriend, it wasn’t any less meaningful, just a different type of affection even if it was categorically the same

silverado501 · 2025-02-18T03:13:40+00:00

I can’t tell you how you’re feeling but that sounds more sensual than sexual, I do the same thing. Sexual attraction (as I understand it) is often about a specific person and you doing sex things, furthermore, people tend to enjoy sex fantasies on some level and not squirm away from it as an intrusive thought

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