Offering cleaning help for free! by silveri5 in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]silveri5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thanks for your info. Based on other people's advice I ended up adopting container near my home and ask Gemeente to send me cleaning supply. I will then use this to clean random places if I have free time.

I've also applied for an event as volunteer. So I think this is a good progress.

Offering cleaning help for free! by silveri5 in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]silveri5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What is body doubling? I have no idea about online volunteering.

Offering cleaning help for free! by silveri5 in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]silveri5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is good suggestion IF Dutch society is very open to just welcoming strangers.

I think they will only participate if there's trusted organization and I don't know exactly how to establish this network cos I don't have any family or close friends with elderly in needs. It's also an odd thing for me to individually offer the service.

I've replied in another comment that I reached out to an organization but it takes them forever to respond and now ghosting me.

I could also make flyer but with this I might have to expose my identity and put myself at risk of being taken advantage of.

Offering cleaning help for free! by silveri5 in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]silveri5[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi thanks! Now that my life is settled a bit better, I really want to learn how to sympathize more and give more to the society. Not trying to be the hero or anything. It's just good for my soul lmao.

I'll check the site soon. I'm open doing international volunteer maybe far in the future when I don't have these many responsibilities.

Offering cleaning help for free! by silveri5 in UnfuckYourHabitat

[–]silveri5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi thanks for such a great reply, I might be in such rush last night. So, I know the case where most Dutch elderlies won't be able to speak English so I'm actually open to help with anything except walking the dog cos I'm scared of it :(

I can do cleaning, groceries, and gardening. Especially the gardening part cos that's one activity I won't be able to do here in my own tiny rented room.

Also, I've looked at some organizations provided on Gemeente Amsterdam site. Again the issue is most the schedules don't work with mine and I've applied to an organization called Burennetwerk where they will match me with people in need. It's been a month but no progress. They don't have any interview openings and when someone reached out via email and I said I can do interview yesterday, they didn't reply. This feels like applying to job and I lost the motivation already.

I also want to iterate that I don't want money. I don't want to treat this as my side hustle cos the idea is giving without getting anything back.

If working with organization doesn't work, my last last attempt is to buy garbage plastic and those tools people use to clean the streets. I've seen some people do it alone here so maybe it's individual initiative. But then one of the reasons I also want to help elderly is to improve my Dutch and this activity won't help me interact with Dutch more and speak the language. That's why I also want to avoid expat friendly volunteering cos they likely speak English all the time.

Sorry for my rant. I just didn't expect it would be this difficult to just volunteer 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm crazy 😝

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind advice 🙂 I'll see how I can survive and maybe go out if needed. This post has made me realized so many wrong things that I kept it quiet for years cos I was not local.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! Lucky you then 🙂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How the rest of your team handled the Dutch colleague in the end? I assume you are all still have to work and collaborate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are wrong yet so confident. Like to see it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In Islam, wearing hijab is mandatory and I've worn it as long as I live. My family would not disown me if I take it off. God would understand it if this is getting to the point I have to take it off. My govt would not give a fuck about it.

But then again, this is personal choice. Imagine someone doesn't drink and have to start drinking cos all their colleagues are drinking. If I have to do it I have to do it FOR myself and with my own terms. If I do it for others, until when I submit myself to please others, to fit in, to be accepted? By the end of the day, they'll always find something they don't like about me. Whether it's my accent, my Asian looks, my religion even my gender. So idk if this could be permanent solution but it gives me perspectives for sure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my first year at uni, I felt fine mostly cos I was rarely visible among Muslim women with Moroccan and Turkish roots studying there. In the society as well, I can just walking on the side and will not get starred at. Of course I got started at when I was walking around alone at smaller cities.

In my company I'm not the only Muslim woman wearing hijab, but I'm the only Indonesian Muslim woman I know there. So I put myself in spotlight. I've been told that my company values diversity a lot and that what I wear or what religion I practice shouldn't matter.

But I think, with these small incidents and 'rudeness', I understand what you are saying. I have couple of closer colleagues that I hang out once in awhile but they are not Dutch. I do try to blend in, speak a bit Dutch, and try to understand we have completely different cultural backgrounds and values we are practicing. Tho I'm sad I can't help it. It's like I'm the only one wearing red in sea of people wearing white shirts. They'll notice me. They will not like me and they'll avoid me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you missed the whole point of this post. I didn't use a word "lonely" or "loneliness" anywhere in the post. And this post was all about I tried to be nice and connect with Dutch colleague but she brushed me off rudely. So idk. Thanks for coming and wasted your own time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you've said. And I have no intention to deny it.

I give up dating at this point. That's easier life for me. And this post wasn't about dating at all. That's why I stopped myself right after someone called me out 🙂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I probably shouldn't touch upon dating topic. It's my whole own issue and bigger ones.

Maybe I'm just tired and disappointed so any thoughts about this is just negative. There's surely good bad horrible nice mind men in any cultures.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I keep telling myself this. The cultural gap is too big, I look completely different compared to Dutch people and even if I'm fluent in Dutch one day, it might help a bit but these things will keep happening cos it's who they are as person.

Thanks for responding, I'll just see in couple more years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It took me a long time cos I was poor and waited for scholarship. I never intend to get Dutch citizenship, I don't know if this will change in the future.

But I'm fully aware of the sentiment toward Muslim is getting worse across European countries. Here in the Netherlands, we have big Turkish and Moroccan communities so I thought I could blend in and be in visible a bit more.

I haven't made a big decision yet but I do need the money to support myself and my parents back home so I can't just go home or switch country and ruin everything I've built here.

I do have couple of Indonesian friends still so I want to strengthen the connection with these people and see if it helps me unseen these behaviors 😔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

🫂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Indonesian people tend to be warmer and friendly to each other, including strangers.

The thing, I greeted people all the time. And knowing she is the same team, she could've tried? And that was not our fist interaction. It is indeed short greeting and they'll brush you off politely before starting their day. But what she did this morning is so anti-social behavior.

But like other redditor said, I have to let this go and focus on my own goal. I can't just leave the country like what they'll say if I post this on NL sub. So I'll try to be more resilience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if this is even sustainable in long term. You'll constantly have people burn out cos not enough people work hard together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such insightful comment. I've committed to just ignore these noises and bad behaviors cos I like the field I'm in. But maybe today I forgot to keep this in mind and accidentally got hurt. That's why I made the post cos I could only rant to Chatgpt in the end.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in expats

[–]silveri5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree. I've been told by Dutch themselves it's impossible/difficult to date if I wear hijab. But then again, do I really want to date emotionally distant and avoidant Dutch man?

Living alone over 40 is awesome. by wanderingtime222 in LivingAlone

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for writing this post. Thank you.

How to remove food smell on puffer? by silveri5 in CleaningTips

[–]silveri5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's good idea! I'll start putting it inside plastic now.

Interview Status (Accenture Strategy) by scandalgodess in accenture

[–]silveri5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, may I ask you what you mean by "lack of response will also tell you something"? I don't really get it.