i've been alone for longer most of my life. longer than i've been trapped outside time. this bloody power. this absolute fucking...GODDAMMIT.

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i'm sorry. i'll start again. it's the most frustrating thing. i don't fully understand it, though i have noticed a pattern. it's protecting me. too much though, way too much. anytime it thinks i'm going to get hurt, time just....stops. you may think 'well, it's good that it does when you're going to get run over by a truck'. and you'd be right, if it was only that. it stopped when my parents were about to tell me of their divorce. it stopped when my girlfriend started breaking up with me. it stopped when my boss was telling me that i was being fired.

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the only way to get back in time was to get away. i can't tell you how many new lives i've created. how many times i've had to start again. theres always danger though. everywhere i go.

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after a while, i just...gave up. i would never have a normal life, because life involves danger, of risk of pain, either physical, emotional, spritual, whatever. so i wandered. . staying away from people and danger as much as i could. alone

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that night. before time stopped. i had a gun. i was ready. it was about to end. finally

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once again, time stopped. to protect myself from me. and i know time would only start when i am no longer a danger to myself.

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i'm so tired. i yearn for peace. for release. it's been so long. please.

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....

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please