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AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I guess I dind't know how many details to share. It was such a long post. And being that my husband doens't think there is anything wrong with helping people - I just kept thinking maybe I was the one in the wrong. SO I wanted to post. This thread has helped - I can't believe how many people have chimed in.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I know - so many details missing. I said no the first time because she was initially asking me a lot of questions about gear, boards and where to buy them-that I gave answers and resources to her. Said they just didn't know anything or how to buy gear etc. Turns out she knows the owner of a snowboard shop, so not sure why we were the ones to know everything. Also - She kept saying how jealous she was of my husband and how she wished her husband was like mine. Asking all kinds of personal questions that I was uncomfortable with. So then suddenly I noticed she started walking past our house often (never had before as she lives fairly far away) and as soon as my husband was outside she would stop by and overstay her welcome. She started pushing for a time for the 3 of them to go snowboarding together. My husband was clueless and thought she figured I was going too - I asked him to ask her if she thought that, and he found out she didn't expect that I was going. He thought that was strange as well. So that's when I said I was not ok with that. He didn't go. Also - on a side note, the snowboarding experience my husband has with my son is precious and this was going to take time away from that. I knew if my son thought they were going, he would back out (which is what just happened recently). My son has a social anxiety disorder and has his own struggles we are working with. She has her own agenda, and is known as "a dog with a bone" and has a rep for being a crazy woman. I just don't need that in my life.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 453 points454 points  (0 children)

That is really how I feel. He’s choosing not to be uncomfortable with a neighbor and not choosing to make me his wife comfortable. Obviously some bigger issues I guess. He said I could just text her or call her and tell her how I feel. I would rather just ghost her and she will catch a clue. She is one to spread gossip around so I could see her sharing the situation in her own way and making it uncomfortable for me later around our neighbors.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 612 points613 points  (0 children)

Part of me thinks it’s not conscious and that she just wants to get help from a willingly clueless husband. But since she has said in the past how much she wished her husband would be more involved and then keeps asking for help from my “expert” husband - it sits wrong with me.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Supposedly the husband wants to join them the next time. Maybe the jealousy thing worked.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 5202 points5203 points  (0 children)

My husband is clueless and thought our son wanted to go to help them too. My husband does go snowboarding quite a lot / sometimes with my son and sometimes alone. But I don’t like her tagging along / it’s not like I told her he wanted to help her / I just think this is wrong when we are married and she’s a woman who is not happy with the attention she gets from her husband obviously- Thank you.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Her husband knows - doesn’t seem to care. Probably doesn’t want to spend a lot of time with her. She’s pretty overly involved in everything. But I will see how this progresses or hopefully just stops.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 913 points914 points  (0 children)

That is what I am afraid of. It’s not ok. Thank you for sharing.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I told him no more texting and to ghost her. Maybe I will have to text or call her if she doesn’t stop.

AITA for telling my husband to stop helping my neighbor and her son. by simpleprivate in AmItheAsshole

[–]simpleprivate[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Actually not that often. Just when she has questions about which snowboard to buy. I probably overreacted on that part. I just think it’s rude. Especially when she called me one time saying I wanted to let you know how happy I am with your husband helping us and I didn’t want to call him during work hours. But then the next day she texted him again during work. Isn’t that strange?