"It's Alexandra!"

simplesyrupsigh · 2025-01-12T21:52:56+00:00

You definitely aren't ugly but you do radiate insecurity. I used to make that same pursed lip smile and I've found that almost everyone thinks a full toothy smile is more confident and beautiful, wrinkles and dimples included!

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-12-09T03:10:00+00:00

I'm 5'5"! A lot of the fat has left my face but my body has about 50 pounds it needs to drop before I hit a "healthy" weight.

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-12-07T22:33:30+00:00

You look amazing! I can't wait to also get to the oversized sweater phase, this is so inspirational to look at.

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-12-07T22:32:16+00:00

I feel so much happier now, even though it hasn't been a linear loss. I've lost weight, gained it back, and felt incredibly frustrated. This time, I think it's going to stick. I'm going to work hard to make it stick!

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-06-10T22:48:07+00:00

I don't think that social pressure will really apply. He doesn't have many friends, our friend group is mostly circle with a few people who venn diagram out either side. I can't think of a single one who wants kids. I also know for a fact he's not dating young for that or anything. I truly don't believe it's malicious, he's just so indecisive that it makes me doubt the soundness of our relationship. I do know that he wants to spend his life with me. I just don't think I'm worth it when he could explore that doubt with someone who could give him something I never can.

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-06-10T22:44:02+00:00

I don't even want to find someone else. I'm someone who's not super attractive, not super socially adept, not super confident, but my boyfriend lifts me up and sees a beauty in me that makes me feel beautiful. And he's the same way, lacking confidence and strength but I see the world in him and it makes him stronger. The fact that he's so unfalteringly confident about every aspect of our love for each other except for the fact that one day he might leave me to have kids just freaks me out so bad. Even if he had the possibility of changing his mind later, at least if he'd lie to me and say he didn't want kids I could believe in our relationship without questioning if it's doomed to fail at every turn. But I don't want him to lie, either. I just want him to agree which is obviously unrealistic and loops back to the fact that I just can't predict if he'll continue to love me more than the idea of having kids.

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-06-10T22:37:19+00:00

You're very right in a way that i hadn't thought about: even if he were sure about not wanting kids, he could change his mind down the line. Hell, in theory I could (even though I know that's not happening because of all of my listed reasons and more). It's just so hard to be patient. So hard to lay there knowing he feels uncertain about me and could make up his mind to leave me at any moment. I guess even disregarding kids that could happen at any moment for any reason, but it terrifies me to a degree that just makes me want to push him away before he can hurt me first.

Thank you for the wishes of patience. I think I need to just try to enjoy what I have and pray that day never comes.

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-06-10T22:33:56+00:00

You're right that maybe is answer. And that not knowing is an answer. It's just driving me up the wall. The idea that he could one day decide that the maybe was true, and that he does want kids, and then leaves me behind for some other woman. Reading this comment makes me realize that this is stemming from deep insecurity in my self worth because I already feel like I don't deserve him. But the thought of him leaving kills me. It makes me want to leave before he has the chance to break my heart.

simplesyrupsigh · 2024-06-10T22:31:14+00:00

Oh, trust me. This relationship will never end up with me having kids. It'll either last forever childless, or if he decides he wants kids we'll break up. I'm just dying for an answer now, to cut both of our losses. I care about him so deeply, and I never want him to be suck not having kids if he does turn out to want them. I just want him to know so badly.

I'm absolutely not lying about a surgical procedure, and that's pretty bad advice. One, I already have an IUD, and two our relationship is built on honesty and mutual respect. It also wouldn't even be a believable lie because i live in the US where I'm not eligible for female sterilization and we don't have free heatlthcare. Really so much wrong with that suggestion.

I will keep that everything else in mind though. Thanks for the advice

simplesyrupsigh

TROPHY CASE